Hi Steve
I suffered very similar feelings to those you are describing now and subsequently, due to other issues I had, spent two years seeing a counsellor. I would encourage you to speak with your counsellor about these feelings. I have to admit that still occassionally I have bouts of these feelings, but the counsellor can tell you how to cope, how to prevent it from recurring and what to do when you start feeling that way again.
I have not read any of your questions before, and I do not know your history, but I am the same age as you and I feel I know where you are coming from.
It shows that you are a mature and thoughtful person that you are trying to face your issues, and not just go out with someone and make them suffer for it. I would say that if you have a partner or a close friend then it would be helpful to talk with them about your counselling sessions, but this is not necessary and you may not feel comfortable doing so.
Best of luck Steve, everything will work out fine I promise - and if I see any more of your Q's on here then I will answer them if I can help x x x