Time for a debate!

[sue11]

A while ago I watched one of the Trisha type shows, where a guy was on because he was unhappy with the fact that his girlfriend had put on weight since meeting him. They had been together for a couple of years and he felt that she had started to let herself go, due to the fact that she felt she no longer had to make such an effort. Most of the audience disagreed with him, saying that he should accept her as she was as it was her personality that was important, but I competelely disagree! I feel that it shows a complete lack of respect for your partner to feel that you no longer have to bother to make yourself look as good, be it with your weight or the way you generally look after yourself. I have been in a relationship with my partner now for over 16 years and although I know that we both will never regain the toned bodies we had in our twenties, I at least try to watch my weight and bother with my hair and makeup as I still like to look good for my partner. My partner by the way also looks after his waistine and tries to dress nicely. Do others agree with my views or disagree? Sue

[Misty77]

I think that it's sad that two grown adults will go on National TV to air their dirty laundry. If there's a problem, I'm a great believer in saying something - there's no point bottling things up or you end up resenting the other person. Surely the guy was with her anyway for her personality, not the way she dressed ?

[prattler]

I get the general feeling that a lot of men out there disregard thier own flabby potbelliesyet still expect to be with a woman who is 'slim' .What's that all about?

[bobtheturkey]

no excuse for a person to be fat just stop eating and they will be thinner

[Toureman]

You want to start a debate about the neanderthals that go on shows like that?

[noxlumos]

I think that anyone who goes on those shows is either very retarded or fundamentally flawed as human beings.I also think that yes, it's nice if your wife bothers to look after herself, but it's not always possible maybe. Without knowing the ins and outs of her exact circumstance it would be impossible to tell.If she's had kids and has been suffereing from post natal depression for example then she'll feel too down to properly take care of herself, if then her partner does nothing but critisis her it'll all only go from bad to worse. You are supposed to love the PERSON, not the shell they come in. I look after myself and so does my wife, but then our lives are easier than some people's, but if my wife suddenly gained 2 stone I'm 100% sure I wouldn't stop loving her and I'm 100% sure I wouldn't critisise her on national TV, so personally I err on the side of thinking they both must be mad for going on the show, but he must be a really uncaring, unfeeling arse to denigrate his woman like that so publicly.

[whitbybabe]

Bob the turkey,you really think that overweight people can lose weight just by stopping eating ? It's because of people like you that some of us become anorexic.I was an anorexic teen because of ONE comment from a boy.I took a long while to recover and now I am 38 years of age and a very happy size 16.I would never starve myself for anyone ever again .Life is far too short.

[sue11]

Many thanks for all the replies, judging by most of them you disagree with my views! Perhaps I was being a bit too general, certainly I would not expect someone to stop loving a partner just because they have put on weight and yes I agree that there are very important personal issues that can lead to a change in someones appearance. What I am really talking about is someone who simply lets themselves go, because they feel they do not have to make the effort anymore as they are now in a committed relationship. This is where I feel that the lack of respect comes in towards the other partner.
Once again many thanks for the answers given above.
Cheers Sue