Confrontation

[Tha-Flash]

I'm wondering how you guys deal with confrontation when it involves another person.

Like where you know there's a good chance that you're going to physically fight.

Please talk a little about how YOU personally deal with this.

[raysparx1]

Hi Tha-Flash,

I am afraid I have to face things head on,I can't bottle it up,if someone does something that is really bad I have to get it sorted straight away, I sometimes wish I wasn't like it,but I am,hope you aren't in this position,but if it is ,never be afraid to face your problems, Ray

[the sniper]

Look them in the eyes and (when they break eye contact) make them look towards the floor, by doing this, it puts them at a psychological disadvantage. However I speak with the experience of having had 25 years in the Parachute Regiment to draw on.
good luck

[rugeleyboy]

my mate used to hold out his left hand to shake thier hand and apologise.............but when they are holding his hand he would pull it and launch a punch!!

me..............im a chicken!! i get real bad stomach pains (adrenalin) and i need 2 to 3 punches on my head before i get angry enough to kick off.................then there aint no stopping me!! i hate violence!!

[devilwoman]

normally i'm a really happy person and easy going, thing is if someone upsets me or does something wrongto me i will keep it inside, i bottle things up too much then evenyually i will just explode and usually end up in floods of tears,

[JackDanielsU]

By all accounts the way to get out of it, and this is from weirdy beardy Derren Brown

Is to say something completely off-the -wall, (like my garden wall is only 4 foot high) which is supposed to confuse them, and gets their mind off fighting....wouldnt want to see if it actually works though myself.

Id properly scarper and just pray i didnt fall over, or run down a dead end

[##Wardy##]

I'm a lover not a fighter.

[Tha-Flash]

Thanks guys... LOL @ Go to shake, apologise then POW in the face!

I also hate violence and ages ago I would bottle things up and be passive, I feel it's probably worse this way. I've decided to make a conscious effort to be assertive and stand up for myself in many of these situations.

Ray, I did have a situation like this today when I was sticking up to my friend who was being passive. Like sniper said, when you look them in the eyes it puts them at a psychological disadvantage. I wouldn't break eye contact for like 7 seconds... I just didn't give a f*** but my body was pumping with adrenaline. We didn't fight but I was so ready for it. This little kid was really rude and cocky. I could tell people around him were intimidated, which is natural really. An odd thing is I felt good about standing up to him and just dominating him by staring at him until he broke eye contact.

99% of the time I wont fight until I am hit. He'll probably be the same with the next stranger he meets. I still wonder whether or not I should have done anything.

[Tha-Flash]

JackDaniels, I actually thought about this.. I'm a huge fan of Derren. I really wish I tried this out because I like to test things. We were laughing about it afterwards though like what would he have done if we responded with something entirely out of his reality.. Clucking like a chicken really loudly lol. It just breaks their state completely. I've been meaning to try this but it's hard to think when this thing happens.

Awesome replies. Do keep them coming.

[pie+mash]

If Derren Brown just said "Hello" to me, I'd melt.....

[raysparx1]

I have laways found Tha-Flash the way to deal with asituation like that is the way you did, stay calm,look them in the eye,speak slowly and clearly, although your ticker might be going like the clappers,most people don't know how to handle it and they back down,it is nearly always the mouthy ones that back off, I ;learnt a long time ago it is not the ones with scars all over there face that are the dangerous ones it is the quietly spoken voice that is scary, I did it about 4 years ago in a cinema, 3 loud mouths were throwing things at my wife and me, after about 5 minutes of this it was swearing at us,I went over to the mouthiest one and just said,right you outside now,your mates come come as well, i was very scared, but they apologised,so I sat down, they then got up threw stuff at us and ran as fast as they could, prats, I hope you are never in that position again,it isn't nice. but try to stay calm if you ever are, take care, Ray

[##Wardy##]

Christ I get one star for being peaceful!!!!!!

OK, the truth. No man can fight without his eyes. If it is fight or flight a man can still defend with his balls bashed, his limbs immobilised and even if they are a little woosie.

Take out his eyes by numerous means. There is no way he can win. I am not advocating permeant blindness, but if it is him or me???

[lordbertie]

Smile...

Offer a 'genuine' smile, if unable try a forced genuine smile. This will quell the situation. Calling upon basic animal insticts of acceptance, be in control. Just thinking about this brings much calm... yes? Peace, Lord Bertie.

[raysparx1]

Welcome back wardy, thats more like it.

[ummmm]

Smile lordbertie? If someone smiled at me in a confrontation that would make me angrier

[raysparx1]

I think you are right ummmm if I was looking someone in the eye and they gave me some sickly smile, I would take it that they are smirking at me, and they are asking for a slap in the mooie !!!

[pie+mash]

Yeah, like they're taking the pi$$!!

[raysparx1]

hello pie+mash & ummmm I am off to beddy byes now,be good xx

[Tha-Flash]

lol Wardie, I really hate short replies. OMG now mine is a short reply!

[jump79]

Put on a brave face ever and take off your shoes and socks to let them know you are very, very serious.

[Tha-Flash]

I remember smiling at one point because I got him angry.. he said "what you little prick"... As I was looking down at him. I said "little!?" couldn't help but laugh.

Thanks for sharing ur story ray. I like seeing or hearing about people standing up for themselves.

Along time ago I'd feel bad about something like this but it's like it's made me stronger.