Doped?

[Barmaid]

My sister has been seeing this guy and has reported something that has concerned me enough to tell her never to see him again (and thankfully, she has agreed). She said that they would go out, he would buy her a drink. She would then go to the loo and the next thing she remembers is waking up the next morning in their hotel/his house. She would feel great when she woke, but by about 11 started feeling really paranoid and totally freaked out. I am absolutely convinced he must have been doping her in some way. She also says that she comes on (irrespective of when her last period was) the day after seeing him. She has not seen him for 3 weeks now and is starting to feel better but has put on over a stone in weight. Her friend, with whom they went on holiday with experienced a similar thing after going out with him � she is now pregnant. Am I being an over protective unreasonable jerk of an older sister? Or am I right to be worried. What really concerns me is what might have happened to her when she was "out of it". Any ideas what might have caused her to feel like this? There is no point reporting this to the police � she simply does not know what happened to her.

[havinmysay]

how awful for your sister,id say it sounds like the date rape drug has your sister took a pregnancy test? although its unlikely to put a stone on in 3 weeks.
also im sorry but you HAVE to report this to the police before he does it to someone else

[ummmm]

Good Lord.....It would be the bleeding that made me suspicious.

I really don't know what to say.....I'd go to the police anyway just so they have a record of it

[##Wardy##]

whether or not he has drugged her, the fact that she "believes" he may have is enough to give him the sack.

I suppose she has had STD and prego tests.

[sair5412]

Go to the police. That is not right. Your sis should also see the doctor and tell him/her everything.

[Eve]

She might find this useful..

http://www.knowthescore.info/kts/kts_display_y p.jsp;jsessionid=4CA46951AE6B027192842C1EC6F14 EE3?pContentID=512&p_applic=CCC&p_service=Cont ent.show&

There's a bit at the bottom about how you know etc...

You're not being overprotective, I'd be worried sick in the circumstances xxx

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, well barmaid, it seems she has been drugged. She will feel fine when she wakes up as the 'after effects' dont really settle in until at least 12 hours after. The paranoia is the come down of the drug. really she should go see her doc first and tell him everything that happened. Dont go to the police until she has been to the doc. I dont think your being a jerk for worrying. She needs a sister like you to look after her. Oh, and make sure you go with her and support her, whatever the outcome. She will be feeling really down at the moment, hence the weight increase. Dont just ignore it tho barmaid, even tho she will not want any fuss. Encourage her to do what she has to, as there are other girls out there who wouldnt get that second chance she did...

[eyeshade]

I think I would most deffinitely go to the doctor first and get her checked out and talk to them and go to the Police. It would be interesting actually to follow this guy and see what he does. It sounds awful. But why on earth didn't her friend tell her about this for goodness sake??

[RATTER15]

That is dreadful Barmaid but does an innocent girl have to be raped and possibly die before someone tells the police about this guy!!!

[spurslady]

This man sounds like a predator getting his kicks in an unnatural way against innocent girls. He does need reporting to the police because he could keep getting worse and I dread to think what the outcome could be on the next innocent girl that falls under his spell. We are constantly reading and hearing about these things in the media. Your sister is very lucky to have you looking out for her and will be in for a tough time as she has to confront what may have happened to her. Please as everyone else has suggested get her to visit her GP and report your suspicions to the police, they cannot do anything if they do not know what has happened. Her friend will also need to contact them and voice her own suspicions as a back up.

Hopefully this man can be stopped and your sister and yourself as it has effected you too, can try and slowly get back to normality, as I dare say it has dented her trust in building future relationships.

The police have trained officers in this area and will know what to do to help find out what has happened they will treat your sister gently and give her support, because unfortunately it has happened to people before and will continue to if people do not report it.

Good luck to you both x.

[drchasuble]

Hi Barmaid. I'm a big sister too and this would have me dialling 999 like a shot.
When she's out of it she'll have no clue whether it's just him or other guys and what the hell they're up to. The bleeding thing would make me think that she is being forced and possibly tearing.
If he has done it to her friend he's obviously a serial predatory date rapist and should be locked.

Call the police.

[WendyS]

I disagree with you. There is EVERY point in reporting this incident to the police, especially if there's a possibility that this guy is in the habit of doing this to other girls. Have you not been watching the horrible events which have been happening to five dead girls up in Suffolk? There are all kinds of perverts out there who need to be caught and dealt with. Please persuade your sister and her friend to go to the police together but also encourage her to go and see her doctor first in case this will arm her with some extra information which would be useful to the police.

[Barmaid]

Thank you all for your answers and support. I'm a bit more together now so at least one of us is! After much much persuasion, she is going to the GPs next wed (no appointments available til next week!) but at least then I will be at home and can go with her. As far as what is said about the police, I have already run it past them on an informal basis - with not much joy. Evidentially we are a bit stuffed (I should know, I am a criminal lawyer) since the last "attack" (if there was of course an attack) took place 3 weeks ago, so the only likely evidence will be toxicology - and that will depend on what type of drug was administered. Her friend refuses to discuss it with her. Ultimately, if she refuses to go to the police, because that is what she is saying at the moment, (on the basis that she doesn't know anything - although I have pointed out that there are ways of obtaining admissible evidence) I can't force her, but I am working on that. Oh and I did some "research" on him myself - he is married with children. It's all one horrible big mess. And yes, unfortunately, I am acutely aware of the Ipswich tragedy - I live and work there. But thank you, all of you. If we get anywhere, I'll post the result on here.

[havinmysay]

i wish u both all the luck in the world.must be so awful for u.
and as for her friend who needs em.please make sure she does go to the docs.
good luck x