Very minor breakdown

[bbw_claire]

A friend of mine has recently had what has been described by his Dr. as a very, very minor breakdown.

My friend used to be, up until recently a fireman. And in November he lost 4 friends at work (2 of which were very close, old friends). He's not worked for 2 months now and since then he has also had a horrendous time with his girlfriend, who has been putting lots of pressure on him. And last night he apparently got violent for very little reason whilst in the pub � this is so unlike him and not the man I know.
The dr. said that this was not an uncommon thing for fireman, esp. seeing dead bodies all the time (a bit like solders, I suppose)

The dr. has put him on a course of tablets, and ive been trying to look them up to get some info about them, but can't remember what he said they were called.
Has anyone had any similar experiences and been prescribed in a similar tablets etc? If so, what were they called?
Also, what should I say or be doing as a friend to comfort him?

Thanks

[curlyfilm]

a few of me friends have had breakdowns, they are quite common, just be normal to them, me good friend i just what i always did and took the mickey out of him, he said it was good to be treated as usual, sorry its not much help, but time heals, most things

[Eve]

It could be any number of antidepressents, there's a list at the bottom of here...

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformati on/mentalhealthproblems/depression/antidepress ants.aspx

Just be there for him and listen, try not to pressure him esp if he's being pressured from elsewhere. It can help with someone that you can just relax and have a bit of a laugh with, some respite from it. Reassure him he is not alone, maybe find some local support groups or national ones for people who have lost colleagues in such cirstances.

You could get him a nice card and maybe write how much of a friend he is and such and how you're always there for him and give him the info that way so he can go through it quietly in his own time rather than feeling confronted.

Reassure him it's natural to grieve and be affected by something like this and that it make take time for him to get himself back on track but that you're there for him all the way and will give him all the support he needs, get to to let you know what would help, someone to talk to, get away from it with, someone to rant and get his frustration out at etc... Say things will only be mentioned if he wants them to be so he won't feel pressured or under scrutiny.

If he'd be willing maybe suggest going away for a day or more, preferably where no alcohol is involved, and just getting him away from things, maybe even something special to remind him of the friends he has lost, a bit of closure and peace for him.

Maybe even see if he'd be up for getting involved in something to get him out of the house and give him an incentive to keep going rather than just hiding away.

[Eve]

Something connected may help to focus his grief and channel it in a positive way such as a fundraising campaign or memorial. Maybe something he can train for to give him a longer term goal, may relieve some of the frustration too and give him a way of venting his anger without violence.

I do hope everything works out for him, sounds like he's got a fab friend there :) Good luck hon xxx

[ummmm]

hello zigzag,

eejit is indeed an evil horrible stalker.

Who are you?

[WendyS]

From the behaviour you have described It does rather sound as if your friend is suffering from post traumatic stress and I'm quite surprised that the Fire Service haven't offered him some counselling if he lost four friends at work. Men seem to think it's macho not to display deep emotional distress but to keep their feelings to themselves and maintain a stiff upper lip. But we all need to recognise that death has an enormous emotional impact on us, especially when it happens to those with whom we are close and quite suddenly the stress of trying to bottle everything up blows up into violent incidents. . It sounds as if his girfriend doesn't really understand what's going on in his head and whilst medication may help in the short term, I think your friend might really benefit from seeing a counsellor and talking things through in a neutral environment. Try and persuade him to get the Fire Service to put him in touch with some professional support. Perhaps too, he needs to spend more time away from his girlfriend as this relationship seems only to be adding fuel to the flames in his current state. The best thing you can do as a friend is be patient, listen if he wants to talk, and perhaps go away with him and have a short break doing something different like a walking week-end in some nice surroundings where he can try and clarify his thoughts and feel less oppressed.

[daisy48]

I heartily agree with Jenna and WendyS, Your friend is showing all the signs of post traumatic stress,not suprising. He need's someone solid and dependable to lean on right now bbw_claire. I was also thinking about counselling from the Fire Service. If you find out what medication he's been prescribed would you let me/us know? I co moderate for OSSG..Online Seroxat Support Group. The only one in the UK,you never know, I may be able to help in some way as many Gp's prescribe SSRI's without knowing half of the consquences. Daisy.