Insecurities

[lifeandsold]

I posted a question last week about how insecure my wife was becoming over my secretary. Anyway, I took all of your comments on board and I took my wife out for a romantic meal over the weekend, it was an n expensive restaurant and I gave her (a lot) of money as a present to go and buy something nice to wear. So, we are sitting in the restaurant talking in general about things, our child, home, planned holidays etc when she asks me outright if I am having an affair with my secretary, I told her that No, I wasn't. She didn't like this answer and said that she thought I was lying and if I told the truth now we could work things through, but I told her the truth again and said No, I also told her that here wasn't the place to have a heated discussion about this, to which she replied I must have something to hide, not to want to talk about it. The whole evening was ruined and all I had done was try my best to make her feel special as you all told me to do. I have been given the cold shoulder since then and I do not know what else I can do. When we are in a quiet romantic place together and she still goes on like this, I can't see that there is any more I can do. Surely it is down to her to sort this out in her own mind now?

[nic2006]

guilty as charged!!!

[sleepyj]

maybe your wife is upset coz she wants a 3 some

[Tiny E. A]

'You can prove anything if necessary'

Prove to your wife your not having an affair then.

[lifeandsold]

No, I said. Anything can be proved if nesseccary!

[Octavius]

Obviously there is some history here that you and some ABers are aware of. This doesn�t explain or excuse the answers above mind. I can�t say I have read anything of yours before.

You have to talk this through with your wife. If you don't clear the air, she will always wonder if you are being unfaithful - and the suspicions will eat away at your relationship. Recent �out of the blue� actions are a worrying sign, or any previous avarice. It may be that your relationship is at a very low ebb generally. Is it possible that your wife is having an affair and is using your indiscretions to deflect her guilt?

Don't confront her about it. Try to talk things through calmly. After all, your relationship was strong once - and may well still be. Give her the benefit of the doubt until proved otherwise.

Next time you spend time alone, open the conversation again, be honest - then have a heart to heart. Be honest with her, and ask her to be honest with you. You may not like what you hear, but at least you will know what's really going on.

[whiffey]

That's right, so you did. Concentrate you lot.

[spurslady]

Ok then march your Mrs into work in front of all your work colleagues and the secretary ask her and them outright are you having an affair. .

[4getmenot]

But you shouldnt hold grudges, treat It as a new question Ummmm. I�ve had people disagree and give me abuse, but he hasn�t this time, if he does again on this thread then fair enough. Keep the peace :-)

[ummmm]

Well how can I prove anything when the thread has been banned ? ? ?

Not that I could be bothered to anyway........

[missyR]

'You can prove anything if necessary' ...


Anything can be proved if nesseccary


sorry but isn't that just the same sentence but the words moved around?

[4getmenot]

exactly so Nothing needs to be proved :-) give him your advice :-)

[ummmm]

OK....4get

Why is he not acknowledging peoples answers then?

[ummmm]

My advice......tell your wife to stop going on about it or you will end up having an affair with your secretary.....if she would let you of course....

[whiffey]

MissyR, to an AB connoisseur they are very different statements ;)

[4getmenot]

now you can have a go at him for acknowledging answers but dont judge a question on the aber until they start being silly like now :-) Unless it says anythimng russian below it. And I didnt answer in other thread but Smudge05 is a friend of mine :-)

[oopsydoopsy]

Ok, lifeandsold - answer and honest question for us all, since you are asking our advice.
Are you having an affair with your secreary ?
Do you want an affair with your secretary?
Sorry, that is two questions, I know.

[Mr Tall]

Let her catch you wearing women's clothes, rubbing Marmite on your testicles listening to its so funny why we don't talk anymore by Cliff Richard. That will give her something to worry about. Maybe she'll be so shocked she will encourage you to carry on seeing your secretary.

[makemesmile]

I can't believe you're coming on this website talking about your relationship with your wife in this way. If you've really got a problem, talk to Relate or some such counseller. I realise that sometimes it's difficult and 'talking' to strangers anonymously via a website is the only for some poor unfortunates.

But, if you and your problem are for real, treat your wife with the dignity she deserves.

[oopsydoopsy]

Mr Tall ! That all sounds very precise .....I hope its not the voice of experience !?

[Mr Tall]

except for the marmite bit I hate it.