I told my wife that the final phone bill from our old house - we moved on Thursday - was a 'welcome' from BT at our new house.
The reason is, there were mobile calls all over the bill like a rash - all made by my youngest daughter, and this is the fifth quarter in a row where she has promised to stop using the house phone to dial mobiles.
I attempted to avert WW3 with thissubtefuge, but failed when my wife asked to see the 'letter'. I 'fessed up, daughter was invited to cough up the readies, and the whole thing was resolved with no harsh words at all.