When children go splat on the pavement.

[Supernick]

Two things have happened in the last couple of days that have made me realise that I don't know what to do in certain situations.

1. Yesterday, a small toddler was running towards me and totally stacked it on the pavement, falling headfirst, and spraying his biscuit into the gutter. There was no parent that I could see for several metres, and my instinct was to pick the child up to his feet and ask if he was okay, make sure he wasn't badly hurt etc. But I didn't because I was scared that a mental parent might run up asking why I touching their child.

2. I was eating a sandwich next to a public flowerbed, and another toddler came up, got in and started squishing the soil between his hands. Again, no parent, but I just left him to it even though he was going to get himself in a proper mess.

What should you do? I know what you should do in an ideal world. But what do we do in this world?

[4getmenot]

Leave it the parents should be there, its not your fault, unless the child is seriously hurt when falling over then dont worry yourself about it, and as for the mud whats wrong with that.

[redcrx]

where on earth do you live where parents arent able to see their toddlers?? In public mine never leaves my sight, even if he runs off im behind him.

A toddler thats fallen down and is hurt must be checked, you cant just leave them. Id call for the parent and pick the child up. At that age the child ought to be able to communicate that he or she has fallen when the parent gets there.

A child playing with mud is in no immediate danger, check theres no glass or anything in the dirt and then start to look for parent, keeping child in your view at all times.

If i see a toddler wandering with no parent in sight then i keep and eye on them to make sure they arent likely to come to any harm but i will stay there until their parent gets to them.

The chance of a child coming across someone likely to harm them are very slim, as a parent Id rather see someone looking out for my child than someone who walked away from them if they were hurt.

[Champagne]

You obviously have a paternal instinct Supernick, and that's not a bad thing at all. But it is the responsibility of the parents so leave them to do their job. Toddlers are horrendous. As soon as they learn to walk or run they seem to be everywhere at once and have this frightening ability to run faster than their little legs can carry them and often at sharp or pointy objects. I spent a lot of time with my nephew when he was that age. It turned me into a nervous wreck!

He's 15 now. God I feel old.

[redcrx]

champagne of course the parents are responsible but if you saw anyone get hurt in front of you, be it a toddler or an elderly person, youd stop to help wouldnt you?

i read a story the other day on one of my parenting sites where a woman had her 2 children at the local park. They were feeding the ducks when her youngests pushchair (with brakes on) rolled into the pond. The woman jumped in and managed to get her child out luckily but passers by rushed to help her. They tried to warm him and calm her, called her husband and took her to a cafe and bought them all warm drinks and kept her calm tile her husband got there.

i wonder what would have happened if those passers by had thought it was all her responsibilty?

[4getmenot]

In that extreme I would rush to their help, but I�m saying if a toddler just falls over or plays with dirt and isnt hurt then supernick shouldn�t feel bad about it. You know redcrx that I�d run to any little kiddies need if they were hurt.

[redcrx]

just as i said 4get, if they are hurt you rush to help, if they are just playing with mud then check they cant hurt themselves and go look for parent, but keep an eye on the child at same time.

[MiniN]

where are on earth do you live supernick???all these toddlers roaming wild and free sounds like a scary place to live!

if a kid was hurt i would check they were ok and take em back to the parents. i would never let a toddler roam around alone even if it had nothing to do with me. how could you ever forgive yourself if something worse happened to them when you let em carry on wandering.

[chazza]

I leave them to it, its none of my business and not my responsibility to look after other peoples children! (so i tell myself!)

[samuel23]

I totally understand Supernick's dilemma.
I was at a wedding not so long ago, and a kid (about 3yrs old) was playing by herelf in the enclosed play area of the hotel. I didn't know who her parents were, or her name. She came a right cropper, tripping over and walloping herself on the jungle gym, she had blood coming out of her nose and was howling like a banshee, but no-one was taking any notice. I picked her up and took her inside, asking everyone where the parents were. It turned out that she was there with her mother, (no dad on the scene) and her mother was absolutely rat @rsed. Hardly anyone knew who she was (bride 's distant relative I think) and no-one knew what to do about the little girl. My gf said I was lucky that no-one questioned why I had a screaming child in my arms, most of the blokes there said that I was stupid to get involved ~WTF?!!!! This poor kid had smashed her nose against a wooden support and people were worried about getting 'labelled' as interfering. What a sh1t world this is becoming.

[Mammar]

I couldn't have held back in the first instance and would have picked the toddler up. Presuming Nick is male, it would have had a different connotation for him.
Second scenario, I would just have kept an eye on the child but in both cases, I would have hung around keeping an eye on them till the parent / responsible? person with them turned up. I may then have said something to them (depending on whether it looked like I was going to get punched) about the child being alone.
It's a sad world when we don't feel we dare help anyone in need. Thank goodness for the people who came to my assistance recently when I had an accident in town. Luckily I wasn't hurt but their concern was a comfort to me.

[MiniN]

there needs to be more people like you samuel23

[Gevs1966]

Scenario 1. Laugh uncontrollably. Sounds cruel but that would be the first reaction!
Scenario 2. Walk away and leave toddler in mud for fear of impending sandwich destruction.

[TillyNilly]

Supernick...Isn't it a shame in this day and age you even had to question your actions...I think our society is getting worse when normal, kind people have to think twice when a child is hurt...But personally it would have been instinct to make sure the hurt child was ok...
I agree with redcrx it is still unlikely a child will come across someone who'll want to hurt them even though most people believe this to be the opposite.
Pat on the back to samuel23..

[Supernick]

In the first instance there were quite a few people about, but none within about 10 metres, and no-one immediately rushing over to check on their child. I just crouched down without touching the child, and asked if he was okay. He seemed fine but was sobbing a bit. I stayed there for approx. 10 seconds (which is longer than it seems) until the mother wandered over.
Perhaps I do have a paternal instinct Champagne! I wanted to sudt off the little blighter's hands and tell him he was okay. I'm only 26 though, so I'll steer well clear for now!

2nd instance I just left the kid entirely to his own devices, and a parent turned up maybe 20 seconds later. I live in Deptford, the standard of parenting generally seems to be on the casual side ;)

[TillyNilly]

Gevs1966..After laughing then what would you do?

[samuel23]

Thanks for the vote of confidence MiniN. The sad fact is that the majority of people there didn't take any notice because they 'didn't want the hassle'.
Most of the men thought I was a lunatic to pick up a bawling child with blood coming from her nose, as their first thought was 'will people think I'm abusing her / trying to abduct her / a pervert' ~ how wrong is that?
Even my gf thought I should have left her there by herself, hurt and clearly spooked by the blood. She said I was lucky that the people at the reception knew me, or I could have been heading into trouble. Sad old world.

[jno]

I think you were right on both scores Supernick, though I wouldn't have been fussed about touching the child. But playing with mud is what all kids used to do. I reckon contact with germs helps build up your immunity. It's the kids whose kitchens are wiped down with antiseptic every 10 minutes who are going to be supersensitive and allergic in later life because they've never encountered a bug before.

[Gevs1966]

well hopefully when I had stopped laughing the parent would have arrived on the scene but if not then I would make sure the clumsy sprog was ok and try to find the less than diligent adult!

[toonmilo]

The first situation is so similar to what happened to me yesterday. I was driving slowly (about 5mph) out from a garage alleyway (very tight to negotiate as cars were left and right of me) about to go onto the main road when out of nowhere a small child (about 5 years old) scooted past me on her scooter type thing?and stopped right in front of me then retreated a few yards to let me out but i just put the handbrake on and waited for Mother to join the child. It was a very close call but i managed to break in time. I could not see the child until it was almost too late.
What riled me was that the parent was about 20 metres behind her child strolling along smoking a fag without a care in the world.
When the mother eventually caught up with the child, she gave me a dirty look as if to say "How dare you nearly run my child over!"..................I felt like saying, "Why haven't you got the ability to look after your child properly and keep her close to your side at all times"? "and always be aware of the potential of moving cars in the vicinity"!! But i just shook my head again and carried on.

Whenever i'm out with my 3yr old girl i'm always aware of surroundings and wouldn't dream of letting her run on ahead by herself.

[TillyNilly]

Good answer....Gevs1966...ahhh you're a big softy really...lol