Would you tell them?

[welshfox]

If you were in love with your best friend, and had been for years, would you tell them? I've only just admitted it to myself, but feel that Im going to explode if I dont tell him. I don't think he's noticed, but maybe he has?!?! I'd just like other peoples advice, or past experiences in this field, as Im afraid of losing our great friendship, but don't want to regret never knowing if we could have something amazing. This is unchartered territory and really quite scary! Would you tell your best mate you loved them in more than just a plutonic friendship kinda way?x

[CheekyChops]

Are you the same sex or opposite?

Have they ever given you any indication that they might feel the same way? If not, I would keep quiet - you could risk losing a friend if they don't feel the same towards you.

[welshfox]

opposite sexes - Im afraid to say that he has shown an interest incase ive read the signals wrong, bu I feel that he's been making an effort to spend time with me - like just turning up at my door to see how I am - something he's never done before, but that he's done every couple of days the past 6 weeks. Or telling me how he feels he'd rather spend time with me, than go to town and have a few drinks. He's not a touchy feely person, but I am, and If I touch him, in a friendly way, he doesnt tell me not to, and doesnt push me away, but he does with others. I dont know - maybe Im looking into it a bit too much. If I dont tell him, I'm going to have to walk away from him and the friendship, because I cant keep watching him getting used and abused by the women who end up in his life. Sigh! Why isnt life ever simple!! ;-)

[fairkatrina]

If you think that you can't handle being just good friends anymore, then you might as well tell him, as you're going to lose his friendship anyway through your jealousy. You never know, he might feel the same way!

[Bruizedapple]

Hmm

Difficult one - I did the same thing last year told him that I loved him, after some dithering etc we got together and had a great 18 months. Then we broke up, and I'm blatantly still not over it. And the friendship/relationship is now in a very weird place where we're clearly not just friends but nor are we a couple (a la Jen and Vince). Sadly Im rapidly reaching the conclusion that we can't be friends anymore cos I find it too difficult.

But it was a bloody great 18 months :)

[wanting2know]

I've been married nearly 25 yrs to ' my best friend ' ashamed to say I stole him from a girl friend, only I didn't relalise I liked him that way until one day it occured to me.
I grabbed him and kissed him after a night out, a bit tipsy and had dutch courage etc, he didn't resist ... He says he secretly fancied me and went out with her until I woke up!
I still think about that first kiss!

[JOBOBABE]

well it sounds to me like he may feel the same way as you. didn't someone once say...... 'you should never regret the things you've done, only the things you've never done'

[~Wingnut~]

I would maybe jokingly say about it and see what reaction you get.
From what you say it certainly sounds like he could be thinking of you this way too and I don't think you have anything to lose really, go for it!! :o)



..........let us know what happens!

[welshfox]

Thanks guys - Have had a killer of a day in work, aswell as they nightmare of this situation, and then get a message that theres someone to see me downstairs - turns out to be him just to say Hi as he was in the area. Couldnt control the grin from ear to ear! Its great to hear that it 's worked for some people, but I can imagine I'd have major trouble getting over him if the worst came to the worst. Think I'll have to have a good night out with him, get very drunk and tell him - that way, I can always say it was the drink talking the next day if its not what he wants too? And funnily enough JoJoBabe - that motto rules my life, but couldnt bring myself to use if for this without some advice. Thanks guys - its food for thought but Im going to definately tell him - Unless I get a major set back! Wish me luck for my next drunken night out with him!!! Thanks again xx

[tallgirl35]

Hey welshfox... please see my dilema of 'help I fancy my daughters teacher'. I'm having a similar problem to you, in the do I don't I say something. I've had lots of advice of 'go for it', life's too short not to find out etc. I'm gonna go for it I think, if he says no I'll get over it, but if I don't say anything it could be a 'what if' for months! I don't know about you, but once it's in your head and heart it's difficult to let go don't you think?

[mrknowall]

My mrs ran off with my best mate
I went though a terrible time
I dont half miss him we used to have a great laugh with all the lads on a friday night.
And as he was the only one who could drive we now have to get the bus or taxis to the football.

[wiggal]

I would say tell him!!
My brother was very much in love with his best friend, he invited her to my mums wedding as his guest and planned on telling her then how he felt.
Only at the wedding, he met my sisters x boyfriend who was there as a family friend, (my sister split with him as she loved him, but not in the right way, as she is a lesbian)
They got together, and it has been heartbreaking for me, my mum & sister, to see my brother as he is still great friends with both of them, and they now live together & have asked my brother to be god father to their unborn baby.
Hehesitated for a long time, scared of what would happen to their friendship if she said no, but he waited to long.

[kayjay_1000]

Aww Good luck! I know it might sound silly but i waited for him to say something to me but i did drop really big hints but yeah that night sounds good!! Do that!! Hehe! Good luck - again x x

[welshfox]

Thanks for your wishes and support - it really means a lot as I'd normally have a drunken conversation with him about this kinda stuff about the guy I like!! Had a bit of a row with him today on the phone about his ex and her still trying to control him - couldnt help myself-t he's just too nice to see it!!
I hate the fact that I met him through my ex, who has also treated him a bit badly in the past few years, but how he feels obligated to my ex to stay just friends with me, and not to cross the line. He admitted to me today that he thinks we've got a bit closer than maybe we should have in the past because he's afraid to hurting or offending my ex! Im definately going to tell him, regardless of that, because my ex has no stake in my life or relationships, as he showed me no respect when we were together. Why Isn't anything simple!
I feel exactly the same as you tallgirl35 - its been in my heart at least 4 years, but Ive always tried to push it away as Ive been too scared to admit it to my head, but now its just impossible to ignore. I feel like Im having a schoolgirl crush again but 1000000 times worse!!! Help! Hope you get your teacher - Wish you all the luck in the world. Gotta try and find a way to get him to myself for a session of major drinking and spilling the beans!! Thanks again guys.
p.s - kayjay - did you get your man in the end?x

[Mammar]

I can't take any more of this!
First tallgirl - I've been monitoring her posts because I've got my fingers crossed for her
And now you!
I can't be doing with all this at my time of life!
I just want everyone to be happy and I have to stand on the sidelines here just waiting for a chance to shout "Yipppeeee!"
To me he's given you a load of signals that seem to show a shift in the relationship - oooo I do hope I'm right!!!
I know I'm an old saddo and hopeless romantic but.......
DO let us know the outcome.

[welshfox]

Aww mammar, I definately will let you know what happens - just have to find the courage and right time! You're not an old saddo at all - without hopeless romantics there'd be no point in anyone hoping they'd meet one one day!
I really really hope you're right too! Fingers crossed eh? WIll keep you informed of any developments! x

[welshfox]

Just a quick update - nothing much has happened, but lets just say he had a nightmare day yesterday, and so when I found out, I just left a message for him to get in touch if he needed anything. He rang me at 02.30 this morning, (and woke me up!), to say 'Thank You', as he'd never been more touched by someone's caring...apparently! He was genuinely grateful and said he'd like to take me for a meal soon as a 'Thank You'. Yeah, I know, Don't get your hopes up welshfox!
Anyway, he turned up at my place tonight to say Thank You again, and to express his appreciation - sadly not with any hugs or kisses, but confided in me regarding a problem and told me that he wouldnt tell anyone else as he doesnt trust them as he trusts me. Plus he was really slow in leaving - I sooo wanted to give him a cuddle and tell him how I feel.
Are these things signs? Or am I just going mad!!! I wish I could tell him soooo badly but am so scared I'll lose all we have. Sigh. Think me and you need a good night out on the pull tallgirl35 - maybe we could find some guys to help ease our emotional trauma!!!! temporarily at least!!