Men (mainly) - your views?

[Sasha13]

Right - long story short as it's been told before (except the last bit):

Started seeing someone. He decided he didn't want a relationship just sex. Fine by me. Been meeting up every couple of weeks (nearly always at his suggestion) for 6 months. Texts me last Sat. night asking if I'm up for some. I say no for the first time in ages. He replies that he wasn't in the area anyway. I go out on a date on Sunday with someone else. Load of his friends see me out. with guy no. 2. Now he's practically ignoring me. Fairly sure he will have found out about date.

Question is; do you think he's trying to do the right thing by backing off when there's another guy on the scene or is he pi$$ed off with me?

[4getmenot]

whichever one does it matter?, He seems like he is a right git. I should know he sounds like my ex and you sound like I was. Saying you're happy with just that but if you're happy with just sex why go on dates?? and does this new date know? Who cares why he isnt speaking leave it at that and take it as an oppurtunity to get him out your life and your head. and until he is out of your life dont go on dates, its really not fair on them.

[shineybomb]

It sounds like he just wants to have his cake and eat it to and doesn't like the fact that you are out with someone else when he thinks you would only want him! I'd tell him that if you want to see other people then thats your business, after all, he doesn't want you to be HIS girlfriend

[opera winfre]

Hes most certainly annoyed.
Though reading your post its obvious you arent a major concern to him.
Not in the area?
Why bother calling then?
Enjoy yourself forget this slimeball.
Hes trash and only using you as a matress when it suits him.

[Lonnie]

Get rid of him, he's just using you, you certainly don't need him, if you carry on seeing him, there'll be some heartbreak in the future, yours.

[Octavius]

As a bloke I agree with the first two answers above. The following two seem to think that it is only him using you, whereas it appears to be a mutual arrangement from your post.

Question is, if he starts paying you attention again will you come running?

[Sasha13]

Thanks for your answers - always good to get someone else's view to back up your own!

[Sasha13]

It is a mutual arrangement so don't necessarily think he's using me. Would I come running if he started paying attention? haven't given it any thought as I don't think it would ever happen.

[Champagne]

If the agreement is that it's just a sex-based relationship then you dating other men has nothing to do with him, UNLESS you have agreed to be exclusive to one another (i.e. do you know for sure that he doesn't have the same arrangement elsewhere?).

Do you know each other as friends by any chance? If word has travelled through friends then I'm assuming so, in which case it's always difficult to have a solely physical relationship with someone who knows you as more than a sex object.

Either way, it sounds to me like you could do with meeting somebody who would give you all of them, and not just their willy every fortnight!

[mandimoo]

id say he just wasnt bothered

[ummmm]

I don't think he sounds like a git. If you were happy to go along with a casual sex based relationship then fine. He's not using you....you're using each other. If you now want something more and are dating other people then I wouldn't be concerned too much about his feelings. He didn't want a relationship at the beginning so you can probably safely presume that he doesn't want one now.

He's probably just a bit peeved that his regular no strings sh@g is moving on and he will have to start making an effort again.

[4getmenot]

why is if a mutual decision, what do you actually want in life if you are going on dates too. Yer your dates have nothing to do with him if he doesnt want you that way but as I said before the new date does have a right to know about your sleeping with someone

[Champagne]

Or it's just a rejection issue? Maybe he can't handle it! He doesn't want you as his girlfriend, but he still wants you to think he's the best thing since sliced bread and be there at his beck & call.

[Sasha13]

I'm happy for it just to be sex with him, that doesn't mean it's all I want out of life!!

pa_______ul - you've got a good memory! Yes he is younger. Went on date with bloke no. 2 was good but there wasn't much spark so don't think I'll see him again!!!

[Octavius]

It�s unlikely that he would back off just because another man is on the scene - not sure this type of bloke would. Perhaps as said above he got bored, thought you moved on and were busy, or he has other women to call up once every 2 weeks. Pers�nally I think you are the one being miffed that he is ignoring you.

[SizzleSquid]

1 he didnt give a **** about you, just wanted sex whenever u culd give it to him, and 2 he's ****** off that you met sum1 else who might be better than him all round

face it, he said he didnt want r shop-why did u continue to bother with that man-*****?

dont ever ring him again, he aint worth your free minutes r credit or whatever u use, and stop making him think hes a stud by going with him whenever he feels the need. u prob care abut him in some way, and boy, if he cared about yu, he would treat u better.

cut him off. like pronto

[Sasha13]

pa___________ul - how did she do that?

Octavius - I am miffed, but only because I don't think he has any right to be annoyed when he was the one who set the ground rules in the first place!

[ummmm]

Women can have a casual relationship without getting emotionally involved. People seem to think that only men can do this.

She was happy with the arrangement. The question is....Do you think he is trying to do the right thing? or is he ****** off?

I would say he's ****** off......for the reasons I stated above. If I was him I'd be ****** off as well. Not because I'm emotionally involved but because it's bloody inconvenient.