Crosswords3 mins ago
lets talk about sex
156 Answers
so when in bath lastnight shaving my legs I thought 'my god the things us woman have to go through' and then I thought of all the obvious others, babies, periods etc. So todays debate is between the boys and girls or ladies and gentlemen and I ask 'who has got it tougher?' Would like to know what problems boys have that girls dont.
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I concur that there are certain pains that men have to face that no woman ever has to deal with.
As mentioned just now:
1. Splinters from wardrobes
2. Bruised egos from the knowledge that you've put together an Ikea sideboard "slightly wrong" (ie. so so wrong that you have to dismantle it, but wrong enough that every time you look at it, you're reminded of how much of a klutz you are.
3. Standing on an up-turned electric plug in your bare feet whilst doing routine household maintenance.
4. The horrific "p*bic hair/underwear band interface problem.
5. Nasal hair - or rather, their removal with tweezer beats any other hair removal pain known to man.
6. Anything involving our testes - punches, kicks...anything. This includes those 'playful' punches landed by children. LISTEN UP KIDS...IT STILL HURTS.
7. The psychological pain of watching our team lose.
8. The psychological fear of knowing that your twelve year old daughter will start dating boys in two years.
There are more that I could come up with, but I can't see my keyboard because I'm crying so much.
Kidding.
As mentioned just now:
1. Splinters from wardrobes
2. Bruised egos from the knowledge that you've put together an Ikea sideboard "slightly wrong" (ie. so so wrong that you have to dismantle it, but wrong enough that every time you look at it, you're reminded of how much of a klutz you are.
3. Standing on an up-turned electric plug in your bare feet whilst doing routine household maintenance.
4. The horrific "p*bic hair/underwear band interface problem.
5. Nasal hair - or rather, their removal with tweezer beats any other hair removal pain known to man.
6. Anything involving our testes - punches, kicks...anything. This includes those 'playful' punches landed by children. LISTEN UP KIDS...IT STILL HURTS.
7. The psychological pain of watching our team lose.
8. The psychological fear of knowing that your twelve year old daughter will start dating boys in two years.
There are more that I could come up with, but I can't see my keyboard because I'm crying so much.
Kidding.
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Q: My husband doesn�t know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I�m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you�ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
IF MEN WROTE PROBLEM PAGES
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you�re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it�s great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you�re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it�s great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Subject: It's great to be a bloke because:
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orgasms are real. Always.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Wrinkles add character.
A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
tarnished.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
different?"
You can appreciate great sport.
You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orgasms are real. Always.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Wrinkles add character.
A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
tarnished.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
different?"
You can appreciate great sport.
You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
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