:-( Life just passing me by

[Surreygirl30]

Does anyone else feel like life is just passing them by and that everyone has someone/children/good job/house and you are the only one left with nothing exciting to talk about?

It's just a general question not a feel sorry for myself post. I just wonder if others feel the same and what do you do to get that feeling of failure out of your head or how do you find a nice person to share life with.

[ELVIS68]

No, but I know what you mean, you need a change of scenery

[ummmm]

No, I can't even keep up with my life!!!

[Rubyrose]

Yes and No!

Pretty much all of my friends are in relationships, have children, some form of property be it rented or owned, and I am the only one without all that.. and sometimes I get down about it but when I really think about it... even though they have those things.. I know most of them aren't happy.. and the cracks are beginning to appear! I am the lucky one I guess coz I can do what I like, when I like and I answer to no-one, I am not tied down and unhappy with this but feeling trapped! And some of my friends tell me I am lucky and should enjoy it.. which is worrying as I am 22 and most of them are my age.. give or take a few years!

But.. it will happen when it happens and until then I not going to rush and make any half-hearted descision or life choices for the sake of making them!

Take each day as it comes and just be grateful you don't have those burdens!

Rrx

[4getmenot]

sometimes. I am 28 and have a house that I own but have messed around with my life and in an ideal world would have hoped I'd have had children by now. Most of my friends have. But then I think well my mate was 41 when she had her 1st girl and I dont regret any thing in my life, and live it to the full and hopefully always will :-)

[Surreygirl30]

Thanks guys for replies and i am exactly the same as you Ruby (but 10 years older) lol.

i just wonder what it is that i do so wrong - i think reading friends reunited has really depressed me lol as other than a job not much else has happened in my life in comparison to everyone else. It almost feels like you are sitting back watching everyone else have a laugh rather than one of your own, if that makes sense. Xx

[Rubyrose]

Yeah but at the same time while they are running around looking after the family and what not.. you have concentrated on yourself and will be far better equiped to handle those things when they come your way! It doesn't worry me that I may hit 30 and still be single... would worry me if I was still living at home but the main question to ask yourself is.. 'Have I had fun'? And if you have then none of it was wasted.

My auntie is 55, has been married twice, been engaged, been dumped, dumped people, had a series of relationships, some serious.. some not so, never had children, has a good job, has sturggled with money, has got her own home.... and now..... she is 55 single (doesn't look a day over 47 though) and lives alone with her dog and thats the way she loves it! Now she takes the attitude that men can come and go but as long as she has her friends and he independence.. none of it matters!
So it doesn't matter what you collect along the way... it's what you have at the end that shows where you have been!

"It's not how you got there... it's how you end up" :o)

[Surreygirl30]

yeah that�s a great outlook to have in life :-) i haven't even got many mates in the 'real world' aka outside of work. When i was in my 20s i had so many friends i didn�t know how to fit them all in.

Now lol i have none as each one has got married, kids, moved on and so on and me i am just still here in the same old rut of life lol.

Well glad i am not the only one in this situation.

[Rubyrose]

Then go and get some friends... they aren't going to come looking for you! Join clubs, classes, go out and meet new people! Life is what you make it...
I don't care if I am single for the rest of my life now... I am having fun and I hope it stays that way!

[fine,thanks]

the grass is not always greener on the other side.

[smudge]

Rubyrose - what a brilliant outlook for a 'young' lady.

Couldn't have put it better myself. ;o}

[rom]

i think like this sometimes but i am kind of thinking the same way as ruby, i am just having a good time and enjoying myself. sometimes i think i should settle down and find myself a nice man, but i did all that from age 19-24 and i think i am doing what i feel i missed out on now!! im 28 in 2 weeks and im extremley lucky that i am in a circle of friends that are all the same as me, all single and wanting to have fun, but i know people in the same situation as you surreygirl whose friends are all settled so i see where you are coming from. but its like ruby says - what about joining a club or something? i know its easy for me to say though but just look on the brightside of life! its all out there :-)) xx

[Surreygirl30]

yeah the problem is what sort of club - if its not sport then there isnt much else out there. Thanks for the replies they are all appreciated :-) x

[yinyang]

Remember ,when you go on places like friends reunited. people are only going to put the best bits of their lives down and not all the false starts and failures they went through to get to where they are. Don't judge yourself by their 'edited highlights'.
Nobody knows what's ahead for them, just try and make the most of the things that are in your life just now.

[rom]

i know, thats what i was just thinking, apart from sports (which i wouldn't want to go to myself - ha ha ) i cant think of anything else
so i do really get where you are coming from
i will have a think about this

[smudge]

yinyang - you are so right about what members post on Friends Reunited. I have to admit that my profie on there, is exactly what it should read - no waffle. Our two daughters, would soon notice anyway!

But I have looked at one or two people's profiles who have really put themeselves on very high pedastals, when I & my friends know different.

Not everyone has the 'perfect' life Surreygirl, so try not to think that they have & you haven't!

I'm sure the future will improve for you soon. Take care. -x-

[smudge]

*pedestals!

[Pootle]

I think the trick is to break the routine of life as much as possible and do things that you wouldn't normally do. Start an evening class and plan the weekends with things to do, go out on the weeknights and don't settle in front of the tv.I go away at least every 2 months with friends or by myself on some city break to Europe, flights are so cheap these days and it gives you something to look forward to. I also find taking loads of pictures on my mobile when I'm out as it gives you something to remember things by. Don't spend you're time thinking about the future, live each day. I've set up a spreadsheet a while back that tells me how many days I've lived, sounds a bit strange I know, but today is my 11,364th day alive! What does this day have in store, who knows? Also remember that humans like to be around positive people and want to spend time with people who are fun to be around and a laugh. Who wants to hang around a miserable, negative person that is always moaning about things.

[Rubyrose]

Edited Highlights - EXACTLY! That is what they put on there! No-one is writing the details.. and you know why? Coz the details would scare people away and make you realise just how complicated everyone elses lives are!

As for clubs... there are a million and one things you can do!
Dancing, singing, drama, similar interest clubs... take up learning a language... even help out at running one of the clubs? My auntie helped run a club for people who had split from partners or were recently divorced.. (sounds depressing but she met SO many people that way).. Lol.
You can meet people anywhere.. you just need to keep your eyes open.. and if you get the chance to go on a date.. even if you dont fancy the guy... my auntie says.. 'never turn down a date with a guy, he might not be the one for you but he might have a mate who is'! Lol

[3Rainbows]

Surrey girl just a perspective from the other side...

I am 23 have a young child rent a 2 bed house and am in a longterm relationship.

However i go through times when i feel i have really missed out! I have been in two relationships since 15 so have never led the single life. I feel i missed out on my growing up years.

Although i am very happy with the way my life is it doesnt stop me wondering what if... No matter where we are in life (regardless of age) I believe we will always be wanting something we dont have. Not cant have as if i really wanted the single life i could in theory have it.

But as long as you make the most of what you have either way you'll be happy in the end.As Ruby does make the most of not having to answer to anybody or thinking i better make this my last drink i have a baby to get up to in the morning etc...

By no means are you a faliure. Its time to start making the most of your life instead of feeling you're missing out! x

[Rubyrose]

Pootle has it spot on. You need to put your self in situations you aren't normally in. Step outside the comfort zone and take a risk. Whats the worst that can happen? You never know what you might find!

I like that Pootle.. I want to work out my life span so far and see how many days I have lived... although I reckon that might depress me when I look at what I have achieved in that time? Lol... but... I am my biggest achievement... I am the best thing I have ever made! (Sounds big headed but I am trying to be positive)... I don't have children so really... I have built myself... and I maintain myself best I know how! :o)

Hey 3R's.. Bingo Thursday night? Me and Emma going late night shopping too.. You in?
Email me. Xx