Children

[girlygirl2]

OK I know there is a family category but I dont want answers only off Parents......
I will not smack my Daughter, she is only 2 and there are so many reason why I wouldnt.
1. Where do you draw the line? - ie what "derserves" a smack
2. How hard?
3. If I can stop myself from hitting an adult, I can stop my self hitting a child
4. Mental damage and physical
etc etc etc
Would you hit your child - do you?
I'm not looking for an arguement, just honest answers and why please.
The reason being is that I'm having a discussion with the guys in my office and they all say that I should smack her when she is naughty.
She is hardly ever naughty and never without a reason ie tired, hungry, had too many sweets and having a sugar rush - basically its my fault why she is naughty normally - so why should I punish her for it????
I put her on the "thinking spot" and occasionally take away one of her favourite toys for punishment and I class that as strict enough and my family often say even thats quite hard on her.....
Your views please..........

[4getmenot]

a short sharp slap on back of legs or top of hand as a shock tactic. When they are too young to understand you cant play with matches etc

[tiny e.a]

Each to their own, sounds like you still dicipline your child and if you can do so without smacking better for it. I'm not completely against smacking though.

[4getmenot]

And can I say never did me or redcrx any harm.

[redcrx]

I smack my child. One smack on a nappied bottom and only if hes repeatedly ignored being taken away from something or told not to do something.
I do not get angry with him, do not shout and do not smack him more than once.
I know many mums who are completely against smacking as its a 'parent losing control' and yet they will wail and scream like banshees at their children and upset the children just as much as if they had been repeatedly smacked.
I was smacked as a child according to my parents, I certainly cant recall it and so dont see that it can damage a child in any way when dealt with like i do.

[4getmenot]

cant recall it!! I must have been naughtier than you then lol

[redcrx]

Does taking a toy away not cause mental anguish too?

at the end of the day, youve made your decision and shouldnt allow anyone to change your mind, ignore those at work, youre the parent.

[Skreecheeboy]

Don't smack them. It's illegal and it teaches them bad coping mechanisms.

[annie0000]

I agree that snacking usually is when you have lost control, but it is very difficult to never lose control - we can all have bad days - I don't advocate it, but I wouldn't lynch parents for the odd occaison when they have lost control or got a fright and delivered a small smack - I agree that shouting is as much child abuse as smacking if you wan't to look it that way and I often see kids for whom the softly softly approach obviously is not working and I dread to see what they are going to be like as teenagers and adults. We parents have a resposibility to society to raise good citizens.

Yes, I have occaisionally smacked my children, but probably not since they have been about 4 - and probably not before the age of 2. I can only think that that I have maybe smacked them about half a dozen times and then only a tap on the bottom. They don't need it anymore - I am not saying that they are never naughty, but denial of priviledges just works better as they get older. Plus they have enough sense to vacate the immediate vicinity when they are in trouble - its terrible when they are faster than you!

[4getmenot]

its not been made illegal yet has it

[tiny e.a]

No

[4getmenot]

didnt think it was.

[geordie87]

My daughter who is now 20, was never smacked while growing up, i honestly believed that my tone of voice was enough- no! really did mean no! Though between age 14-16 i could quite happily of strangled her on many occasion! We laugh about her "rebellious stage" now ,but at the time she was a nightmare to live with .

[nutgoneflake]

When my boys have a monumental paddy - and I'm talking only maybe three or four times a year here, the really bad ones - I will send them away from everyone else ie. to their rooms. They hate it, and normally won't go. They know, however, that if I have to take them, then I will smack them when we get there - a quick slap on the bottom or leg. I'm talking ABSOLUTE last resort. It's a "defining the boundaries" kind of thing. A "stepping over the line of acceptable behaviour" deterrent. I have probably done it once with 3 yr old and about four times for oldest.

Otherwise, we have a stone jar which was recommended by a child psychologist at work. One stone goes in for good behavior, or trying something new to eat (fussy eaters!) and one comes out for bad. It works like magic!! They can choose a treat when they get to ten stones, and the prospect of losing one makes them toe the line. I recommend it to ANYone with children!

They are smashing boys, loved to pieces by friends and family. One is "best mate" with two of the mums, who always say he is a joy to have.They have friends at school with too-strict parents, and some who rule the roost at home, with parents who are scared to keep them under control. These are the ones who I predict will be first off the rails!!

Mine are proper boys - rough and tumble, but kind and helpful. Noisy, shouty, dirty, mischievous little monkeys but they know right from wrong. If they stay this way, I will grow old knowing I did the right thing in having that last resort smack in reserve.

Agree with redcrx about the shouting and wailing being abuse in itself. I feel more guilty if I ever really shout - feels more like losing control than a measured smack on the bum!

(girlygirl2 - do what you feel is right for you and your daughter, but do try the stone jar when she's a bit older! Let her make a label and choose some flower arranging stones to collect in it. It

[nutgoneflake]

Gosh, I talk too much. Sorry!

[redcrx]

thanks for the stone jar tip nutgoneflake, i shall give that a go

[nutgoneflake]

It's so simple but it works! :o)

[-Zorro-]

do not smack her

make her sit on the naughty stair

[Pippa68]

What do the guys in the office know..are they parents?

You discipline how you feel fit ~ and you seem to be doing a good job too :o)

One thing I will say is that the discipline may have to change as children get older..sometimes they become 'immune' to the discipline ~ lie my nephew who started taking himself off to the step after being naughty.it became no big deal to him, so my sister in law had to think of something else!

[Goodsoulette]

I thought if you marked your child it was abuse.


I have never smacked my children, due to a problem with my voice I cannot shout. I reason with my eldest and to be honest what can you do with an 18 month old. Not a lot! He understands what is naughty and he has to sit on the step if he pushes it.