How do you get over...

[Silversky]

being in love with someone?
(don't worry this isn't for me)
But my friend is obbsessively in love with a guy she can't be with.
But she won't get over it, she speaks to him and tell him she loves him everyday, she says she will never be able to find someone she can't trust the same or love the same.
It's really hurting her and I don't know how to help.
Any idea of what to say to her.
Thanks : )

[Silversky]

P.s If you can reply quickly... Im speaking to her now.
And it's really getting to me
cheers : )

[missrandom]

why cant she be with him?

[Silversky]

Because he's 22 (shes 16), lives in london (about 100 miles away) and her parents hate him with a passion. And they don't want her to have any contact whatso ever. and she can't disobey them.

[missrandom]

oh blimey! she needs to cut all contact, otherwise its just a reminder of what she cant have. can u take her out lots to take her mind off him. its hard at that age, everything seems to turn into an obsession, then. i was regularly obssesed with someone or another. poor girl.

[Silversky]

Thanks missrandom for your quick reply...
She's sent him a text of how she feels they can't be together.
But she thinkg she's just made the biggest mistake ever by saying it... Im trying to show her that there will be someone else, and that by doing this she's opening her options to move on.
And I'm going away soon, and so is she... so hopefully it'll take her mind off it.

[missrandom]

ffs i just wrote an answer and i lost it! its all consuming when you like someone, the more you try to stop thinking about someone the more you think about them! someone more suitable, will hopefully come along soon. or failing that get her ditch the men for a while and have a gr8 time going out with her friends, much more fun!

[Silversky]

I've said this to her... But she says that she couldn't survive without someone to fully trust... And not one of her friend can fill that position. (ouch!)

[missrandom]

aah, maybe she needs a bit of time. the fact that she's going away will help, I am sure......I hope, for your sake! i dont mean it nastiliy, but could it be a bit attention seeking? give her sympathy, but you might need to tell her to pull her socks up (for want of a better term), if it drags on a bit.

[Silversky]

I guess so, but also. It's been like this for a good while. I've posted other comments about her 'getting me down' because of her problems. and alot of people just seemed to feel that she'd been attention seeking.
But i dunno, Im her friend and Im suppose to help her, I just don;t know what to do.

[missrandom]

you can always over her a supportive ear for a few mintues and then change the subject, or you could jokingly tell her you have banned her from talking about him, and everytime she opens her mouth about him, tell shush i told you no talking about him. its hard, but u need to be cruel to be kind.

[Huderon]

I always liked Wendy Copes advice in Two Cures for Love :

1. Don't see him. Don't phone or write a letter.
2. The easy way : get to know him better

[Silversky]

I've tried to be a bit cruel... But she says I'm being really harsh and unfair. And then goes on about how would I feel if it was the other way round.
She would fall out with me. She's really easily offended.

[missrandom]

i suppose you'll just have to wait until she gets over him then, i just hope she doesnt take too long. xx