am i out of the ordinary?

[pork_scratch]

do alot of people take recreational drugs and smoke weed regularly? i'm 30 and thought most people got over all that in their 20s. My ex made me feel really straight because i objected to her taking ectasy or something at a bbq she had invited me to. Am i expecting too much?

[pork_scratch]

i think the main problem is making any kind of moral judgement is considered taboo these days - why shouldnt people say what they think without getting a tirade back - too many people think its enough to say 'live and let live'. Fine, but i have an opinion and when in affects me i'll say it.

[Goodsoulette]

Well she had invited you, it wasnt your BBQ, she's your ex not your girlfriend. If you can dish a moral judgement out expect to get told to stuff it.

[Skreecheeboy]

i think you were perfectly justified in questioning their responsibility when the kids were about but there's a time and a place to preach about it and when it's when they have come down, not when they are up, otherwise you'll just spoil their good time and your words won't sink in. It's the same with drinking alcohol when you're young, your parents will always send you to bed to sober up then give you a row the next day and make you clean up the mess you made on the floor when you feel terrible. I don't think she will hold a grudge with you about it in the clear light of day and will probably admit she was in the wrong for having a go at you.

[earsugar]

Ecstasy at a bar b q is a huge no no, until you have eaten your full then double drop and hug everyone.

[Octavius]

Skreech, I agree with you. To use a word which comes from the Greek �to make suffer� it is rather apt to call it empathy, even today.

Though, for such a commodity to do exactly what it says on the tin, should it not be labelled �Mashed Brain� or similar? No doubt purveyors could drag out some old saucepan headed alien actors and reinvent the tagline, for Smash get Mashed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo5Csopw0MU

pork, the point you make now, is that it affected you (presumably above and beyond being called straight?) Of course, many have said at this point you need to take a stance and have an opinion. But not necessarily take the moral high ground and dictate.

[pork_scratch]

Excuse my ignorance but since when was taking a moral stance the same as to dictate to someone.
Goodsoulette - she was my girlfriend at the bbq and became an ex very soon afterwards -

[Goodsoulette]

You now know to ask whether people indulge in recreational drugs at the start of a relationship. At 30 you will probably have many, many peers who do it. I think maybe 25% of my friends dont and only 10% dont smoke pot, Im 28. Even 2 of my mates who are policeman smoke weed. Its your choice, and as long as no one is pressurising you into trying it thats fine. If she had drunk a load of tequila and was staggering all over the place, possibly puking would you have taken the same moral stance?

[Octavius]

She invited you to a BBQ.
She decided to drop a pill.
You objected.
She said you were straight.
Relationship over.

Either you have made a moral judgement based on the unsociable habit of taking such a drug in such circumstances and decided to end the relationship, or you tried to dictate her actions (whether inappropriate at a BBQ or not) saying she was too old(?) It appears by ending the relationship you are letting live but at the time you were affronted and said so. I don�t think anyone here is disagreeing with you and I certainly don�t think it is taboo.

Incidentally only one of my friends is still a regular user, and at this moment in time he is frightened out of his wits because of spiralling debts and the fact that he owes a lot of money to people who really really want it back, through any means necessary.

[pork_scratch]

yep, was affronted but thought she was good company, social, funny etc without the drugs...

[Goodsoulette]

maybe she is?

[Champagne]

And in answer to your last question; no, it's not expecting too much. Although I do think you should make non-drug taking a prerequisite before dating somebody.

[rugeleyboy]

pork_scratch? you remind me of someone else fro the AB community? not the drugs thing just ............you??

[pork_scratch]

who???

[chompu]

Goodsoulette. So pork scratch should expect to be to told to stuff it if he is critical but it's ok for her to make him feel bad if he doesn't want to indulge. Double standards I think.
Your two police officer friends are committing a criminal offence. I hope they soon get caught and consequently lose their jobs because they are a disgrace to their profession.
I don't think your percentage averages of your drug taking friends is reflected in the same way throughout society.

[Goodsoulette]

You cant impart your views on someone regarding what they should and shouldnt be doing and expect them not to react, especially when you aren't in your own home. She was in a no win situation, she was either going to "do as she was told" or carry on regardless.

Lots of people smoke pot. They might not shout it from the roof tops but for some reason its less acceptable than the binge drinking scum that go round fighting and kicking in shop windows on a Saturday night. Yeah, a pot smoking copper is the worse thing they could be.

[cazzz1975]

I dont, Im what is known as a boring caaaa

[sandyg2244]

personally I wouldnt want to date someone who was using recreational drugs and yes i think of ecstacy as one of those things kids try when they are 19 and grow out of.If someone is 30 and still doing it regulary I'd say they have a problem, and if its not ecstacy it will be something else to give them a high.That being said, smoking weed seems more acceptable somehow, but not in excess.i have heard so many horror stories, and any drug can cause long-term mental health problems ,depression, psychosis etc in some people.no-one knows if they are susceptible to this until its too late.I can also see the rationale behind people comparing this with alcohol, and who wouldnt agree it causes more social and psychological problems.but maybe thats because its more 'socially acceptable' and more people do it as opposed to the other drugs.But personally, I find it less frightening than the potential psychological side-effects of recreational drugs like ecstacy and cannabis for some people.