Talking to men

[miffy63]

Why is it that when a woman says to a man "I need to talk" he tenses up and gets on the defensive. It drives me nuts and often causes an argument.
Men - Why do you do it?

[Sasha13]

Because 'I need to talk' almost always means you are about to have a conversation about something being wrong in a relationship. That means a) the bloke is going to be asked to talk about his feelings and b) the bloke is usually going to be made to feel like he's done something wrong. Blokes don't like doing either of those ergo bloke becomes tense.

[miffy63]

But it's so stupid as so much more could be sorted out, and more quickly, if they'd just 'talk'.

[radiogaga]

men are not on the same wave length as woman. so therefore its more difficult for them just to talk.
try another approach. if he still tenses up drop it, but keep trying a different approach.

[whiffey]

'I need to talk' is code-speke for 'I have been having it away with someone else for ages in a caravan on the Isle of Sheppey'

Any other explanation is mush.

[Panic Button]

Try phrasing it differently.

Something like 'i really want to go to bed with you and make passionate love for hours, but first there's a little thing I'ld like to have a chat about'

[Trinny]

because men cant communicate

[Goodsoulette]

lol....even I see its obvious. I like to save my troubles up for when they are just about to fall asleep. HA HA HA....that'll teach you lot for never washing up, or putting the kids to bed.

[Panic Button]

But I HAVE done the washing up and put the kids to bed GS!

[Trinny]

sorry, was a bit hasty in my reply. Men can communicate if it involves

1. talking about their day
2. talking about themselves
3. talking about their ex wife and kid problems

Then saying they are tired and cant talk anymore. Don't just love em (yes I hate men!)

[Goodsoulette]

well panic Button I assure you, you didn't do it right, you probably left pans soaking didn't wipe the sounds down properly, and definitely didn't clean the oven or kitchen floor properly and if you did you didn't put used cleaning products away WHERE THEY SHOULD GO!


Why didn't you time how long the kids were cleaning their teeth for? Do you want them to have fillings in ALL of their teeth before they get finish school? Why didn't you make them put their toys away? No don't bother, Ill do it in the morning, after I have made the sandwiches because you didn't do that DID you?


(it all becomes clearer as to why the ex might have slapped me)

[Panic Button]

You're right of course GS. Sorry.

(Except that I did make my packed lunch for work tomorrow)

[radiogaga]

my theory is if he dosent do the washing up properly, as he floods the kitchen, put baby to bed, he just gets her all exited so sleeps the last thing she wants to do,
leave the kitchen lookin like a bomb has hit it after cooking
its all deliberate, so you wont ask again.

[Panic Button]

Not far from the truth!

[Goodsoulette]

Did you put salad in your sandwich or are you just gonna eat crap again? you know just eating meat and white bread makes you stink? Your used to your smell but its me thats got to wake up with it.

Maybe we should get seperate beds, or actually why dont you work a bit harder and get us a house where we can have separate rooms.....





....and a gardener.

[sense4all]

Men don't want to talk they want to problem solve, tell them what is wrong - let them come up with a politically crap solution - then ignore it!!!! Get's 'em every time. ha ha ha.