Cheating hearts

[ab_user]

I have been 'helping' a few friends out recently, by seeing whether their husbands are being faithful or not. All this involves is arranging to be at the same bar as these men, catching their attention, flirting with them and seeing how far they will take things. It is similar to a honey trap except I do not get paid to do this, I have done this as a favour for some insecure friends. Apart from some harmless flirting, the men have mostly appeared to be faithful. One of my friends from uni has been having some problems with her boyfriend, she asked if I would 'do my thing' and see if she was playing around. Everything was set up, I was in the bar when her boyfriend arrived and HE WAS GORGEOUS. We spent the night catching glances at each other, until her finally approached me and offered to buy me a drink, I accepted and we spent the rest of the evening drinking together, I was feeling pretty hot by the end of the evening and decided to take him up on his offer of sex. It was amazing. The following day I had to report back to my friend and I told her that he was 'faithful' and that she had nothing to worry about, the problem now though is that we have continued to see each other and meet up weekly. I feel bad as my friend now thinks things are great between her and her boyfriend now she thinks he is faithful? Should I tell her that I have caught him cheating so that she will finish with him? Or shall I just carry on with this?

[redcrx]

if this isnt a wind up then you are not a friend at all to this woman. She askedyou to find out if he was capable of being faithful Im sure she didnt expect you to have sex with him to find out.

You and him deserve each other and i hope history repeats itself.

[4gottenabout]

so basically cowards way out you are not bothered about her feelings at all otherwise 'tell her he is cheating but with someone else' wouldnt come into it. You're just worried about being caught. You made you bed..... or not

[redcrx]

why offer to do it for a friend without discussing how you should tell her if he was cheating? Sounds like little girls playing rather than mature women who want answers.

My initial thoughts were that its a wind up though

[ab_user]

You are all very judgemental. I am sure that I am not the only one to ever make a mistake am I? I know that what I am doing is wrong, I didn�t come on here for my mistakes to be pointed out, I am already well aware of them; I would however, like an opinion on where I go from here.

[johnlambert]

How will her self confidence be when she does find out he's a cheater? It's better coming from you, if you tell her he cheated with someone else (however I don't doubt he will tell her he slept with you), and believe me, she will find out from someone. I'm talking from personal experience here, I've cheated on just about every partner I've had apart from my present wife and one ex girlfriend, without exception they all found out one way or another.

[redcrx]

bus stop, catch the first bus out of town

[Katie~77]

You've been told what you should do. Tell your "friend" what you've done.x

[4gottenabout]

you asked our opinions, we have all made mistakes yes, but yours isnt a mistake you've puposly gone out your way to flirt with these guys. Any mate that valued any friendship would not get involved. I've seen someones boyfriend who I was very much in love with, but I felt guilty as sin and told her. But I would never do it to a mate.

[ab_user]

But how will that effect her?

[4gottenabout]

tell you mate and take the consequences like an adult

[4gottenabout]

As I said you really cant be bothered I that will effect her or you wouldnt have done it in first place. Or other option would be to break it off with bloke and say no more but you havent even mentioned that

[ab_user]

i don't know what will happen at the moment with regards to her boyfriend, with us it is just sex at the moment, I don't love him and I am pretty sure he doesn't love me.

[Katie~77]

Obviously I don't know your friend, so don't know how she will react. She might ask you to leave and sit quietly and cry or she may end up locked away for GBH!!!!!x

[Lore]

I think at the end of it all, you're the one who will come out worse off.

1. You either tell her or she finds out another way
2. She then tells him who you are
3. You have both of them to contend with

If you tell her, you'll lose the friendship you once had, but then, in all fairness, there's no real friendship there if you can do this.

I know we all make mistakes but you really need to come clean or disappear out of their lives. Their relationship probably won't last if he's the type to cheat And if she's the type to set up a trap then she obviously doesn't trust him in the first place.

[4gottenabout]

then why dod it for just sex, can you not get a man any other way?

[Reverandfunk]

How old are you?

seeing it's the summer holidays haven't you got some colouring in you could be doing instead of playing with grown ups??

[joanne713]

sweetheart no man is ever worth losing a friend over. My advice would be to ditch the bloke, cut all contact and get yourself a pink rabbit.

[Octavius]

Wasn�t there an article in the Daily Mail last week about Honey Traps? Oh, how topical, lets discuss.

No.

[Rubyrose]

What a load of old sh!t!

If you gave two sh!ts about your friends 'happiness' and confidence you wouldn't be sleeping with her man!

All I am saying is (and this is pretending that I actually believe this is a genuine Q from a genuine Aber) cheating is cheating... it's not as black and white as 'you are a cheater and therefore you are wrong' but.... sleeping with a friends man? That's a new low!

Her boyfriend is in the wrong for cheating. Fact. But she will get over that one day. People cheat and people survive being cheated. But for that 'other woman' to be a friend? Someone she loves and clearly trusts as she asked you to do it in the first place (I am laughing that I am writing this as if I believe you are telling the truth.. Lol)! That's an awful thing to do to a friend.. I never could! My friends are like my sisters and no man, would be allowed to come between that... even if that man was deemed worthy enough!

Shame on you for being a sh!t friend!