Emotions

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, do you give honest answers on here or do you just answer accordingly so not to upset the questioneer?

I ask this, as i have noticed that especially in Relationships and Dating, you get a lot of women whimpering about answers left by other users.

I personally answer everything with what i believe as i assume thats what the questioneer wants...

[laurence2]

I will give the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Why would anyone want to answer accordingly just to pacify someone is beyond me.

If you don't want a few home truths, don't ask.

[Octavius]

I think that is all you can do really. Often with those questions you are only hearing one side of the story, so you have to form an opinion one way or the other based on knowledge, experience and general compassion.

You can be blunt, but there is a way to blunt. More often people don�t like to hear opinions they don�t agree with.

[raysparx1]

Hi Mrben I only ever answer with what I would say is honesty, if it is not what the person wants that is hard luck, if they don't want honesty no point asking opinions or wanting advice is their

[MrBen5]

Its not the questioneer that seems to get irate.
It seems to be other users who join in and tell you that you should be saying nice things to her...

[Gromit]

You can and should answer what you believe but surely you must also tailor the tone of your answer your perception of the person asking the question. If you are mercilessly blunt in all your answers, then you will come across as uncaring. However, this may not bother you.

[laurence2]

I agree MrBen.

You give your opinion and other ABer's have a go at you for being insentitive.

I call it other ABer's sucking up to that questioneer.

[raysparx1]

I think Gromit has summed it up perfectly

[MrBen5]

Have a look at my answer in Relationships and Dating as an example.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question444102.html
Do you think i was right in the way i answered?

[jackthehat]

With all due respect I believe that this high-lights a difference between men and women.

When given a problem (any problem) to solve, that is what men will attempt, with all best intentions, to do............solve it. And I believe that this applies to all types of problems.

Women will try to give support ; a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear and tales of shared experiences; thereby increasing the well-being of the poster.

Men are not unfeeling brutes; they believe that their advice is sound and helpful, and I find it reassuring that so many are prepared to comment on this forum.

But I do believe that they are bewildered by the twittering that women in a dilemma are prone to.

[Octavius]

I know I call them the FAB gang! Often it seems that when a woman has an issue in her relationship, men are deemed insensitive, although we would see it from a man�s perspective and provide input as a factual possibility. Not all ABers take that view I would add.

I don�t know what Q or Qer you are on about really so cannot comment specifically, but one would expect you to stand by your morals and answer with integrity.

[Octavius]

Ah, now you see MrBen I think you probably went too far, you further fuelled the doubt and insecurity that the Qer already had by placing more possibilities for relationship issues in her head.

Rather than tell her in detail what might happen, I would really have thought it best to help and advise her how to nip this in the bud now. You probably should have stopped after the first sentence.

Just my view.

[MrBen5]

Ok cheers Octavius, my problem is, i cant stop :(
I go into every detail with everything :(

[laurence2]

Your last sentence in your posting in relationships & postings MrBen will be giving her sleepless nights.

Octavius summed it up well enough in his last posting here.

Naughty Naughty

[cazzz1975]

I know the question your on about Mr Ben!!, I answered in a "your innocent until a time as proves your guilt" kind of way. without knowing the full ins and outs I reserve the right to call him a cheat.

I could fully understand your perspective as a friend of mines husband did have an affair when they were going through a rough patch.

I wont sugar coat a response just to avoid upsetting the author, whats the point?! doesnt that mean they are only kidding themselves in the end?!