should i tell him& how???

[milo1978]

Ive just discovered im 6 wks pregnant with somebody i wrk with.

We had one crazy drunken night, he's a lovely fella, we both like each other but im about to go travelling & the times not right for us, we've already discussed it & left it at that.

Everythings gone back to normal which im very relieved about & now this bombshell.

Should i tell him? im not keeping the baby & thats my final descision, does he have to know? I really need advice as i have no idea what the right thing is??

I dont wnat to ruin our relationship, or give him the worst news of his life ect...

[Doc Spock]

I felt some sympathy for your situation untill I read that you were going to have an abortion.

So why tell him, if you don't give a sh1t why should he. Sorry to be blunt.

[Dr Red]

I agree with Doc senior.

[clairey-s]

You should let him know, he'll probably find out in the end.
I do agree, doc, that abortion's horrid, but can sometimes be the right thing to do.
Did you consider adoption?

x

[milo1978]

of course i give a ****!

Im extremely shocked & beyond upset but its not the right time for me plus im only 24 & we're not even together.

If I was going ahead with it of course I would tell him! Thats why im questioning it, do I make him as terrible. guilt ridden & stupid as i do now or do i spare him??

[milo1978]

Ive only just found out & literally ran out of my docs sugery,

I was actually there to get my travel jabs as im going away for a year in 6 wks & it was a routine test that was done, Ive even had a period this month hence the shock.

Travelling is something that ive been planning since i started uni 4 yrs ago. got my degree a year ago & have been wrking & saving since to leave, I know some may consider it totally selfish & maybe it is but its ben my goal for too long to give it up.

[China Doll]

Personally I wouldn't tell him.

You've already made your mind up so what would be the point? It's not a conversation I'd be willing to have.

[daffy654]

How do you know you are 6 weeks pregnant if you had a period this month? The only definite way to tell how far gone you are is with an ultrasound scan.I wouldn't tell him by the way,why upset him about a matter in which he has no say.

[milo1978]

Hi china doll, i assume you're a girl right?

Yeah everything tellls me to spare him from what im feeling but the thought of having to see him everyday, chat & pretend everythings normal, I just dont know im sooo confused.

[milo1978]

Hi daffy, well the nurse estimated from my july period, she reckoned the aug 'period' was just spotting because it wasnt like my usual, but no you're right we dont know for sure, plus the night in question took place at the very beginning on aug, I dont really know how they work these things out.

[FUZZYBEE]

Don't tell him, i think you know what you are going to do anyway. Next time buy some condoms..........you could be getting a lot more than a baby such as herpes chlamidya thrush crabs etc etc . That's if you haven't already. Next stop STD clinic.

[China Doll]

Yep. Boobies and everything....

I can see where the confusion comes in so let me put it another way....

What if he really wanted you to keep it?

You willing to risk that? Are you sure you want to put yourself through the heartache of a conversation like that when you've appeared to have made up your mind completely on the subject?

Acting normal... Well I don't know, I compartmentalise very well so acting normal when things are going t its up has never really been a problem with me. But you'll cope, you really will... It'll be hard but you'll cope. Keep your end goal in mind.

And also, is he really someone you're going to keep in touch with forever and a day? If so, then maybe tell him, I don't know. But then your relationship will be affected forever.

Maybe I'm cold but I would just not be willing to put myself in the situation where I have to justify a decision (if it came to that) or hurt someone when there's no need.

I don't know what to say tiddler, I probably come across as quite unfeeling but I just think that you're going to feel guilty and sh1t about the whole thing anyway so why make yourself feel worse by telling him? It's just something else on the plate that really doesn't need to be there.

[daffy654]

I don't think I could personally have an abortion but I do believe in a woman's right to choose. If you really don't want the baby then book your termination ASAP. Rightly or wrongly the father of the baby has no right or say in the matter. If he was a long term boyfriend then I believe morally he would have a right to know-as he was only a one night stand then he would probably be relieved that he doesn't have a lifetime of maintenance payments to deal with. I still wouldn't tell him though.

[cazzz1975]

why didnt you use protection?, anyway if you have decided to abort then why put him through it as well? what do you expect to gain from telling him?

[bednobs]

i dont get how you can be 6 weeks preg by him if you slept together in august. it is still august now!
anyway, i wouldnt tell him, it can only cause heartache

[cazzz1975]

If you have already made your choice and you dont have a relationship with this guy then why tell him?, there would be nothing to gain as you have made your choice, its not like there is anything he could do so why not be sensible and spare him this type of no win situation

[Psychick]

milo, they start counting the weeks from the first day of your last period, in your case, the one you had in July.

[carrust]

What's more important...A years travelling or a baby's life???

[cazzz1975]

carrust, what is even more worse is a baby being brought into the world who will not be wanted by either parent...

[bednobs]

i would definately say a years travelling
there are millions of already unwanted kids in the world