witty repartee

[liquidspace]

I would like to be able to go up to a guy at work and confidently come out with some witty repartee of some sort. Any ideas? I wish I was a funnier, more interesting person!

[Neilzulu1]

Get a life.

[liquidspace]

thanks for that

[Neilzulu1]

np

[Skreecheeboy]

I haven't laughed so much in my life!

[Neilzulu1]

lol.

[tiny e.a]

hmmmm, no I wouldn't advise saying what Neilzulu1 suggests to him, I believe it's deemed rude in some circles!

[stewey]

"Excuse me, are you doing something important, or do you work here?"

[jno]

repartee is more about witty responses to something someone else has said, so you can't really arrange it in advance. If you want to get your retaliation in first, maybe you should buy a big book of insults

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Insults-Put-downs-Come backs-Steven-Price/dp/1599210738/ref=sr_1_3/20 2-4486451-4559019?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=11884788 59&sr=1-3

[liquidspace]

I thought neilzulu was telling ME to get a life! I thought people were being horrible to me for a minute there...

[liquidspace]

Er, I dont want to insult him, I just want him to think that I'm a fantastic person!

[whiffey]

repartee is actually a swift and ready response, it's not something you can start on your own. You have to be able to come back with something snappy and hilarious to any statement your friend makes. It's not something that can be learned (although reading Oscar Wilde or Blackadder will help). Many people fall back on the unanswerable F-- O-- when cornered.

[liquidspace]

ok I used the wrong word - forget the word "repartee", swap it for "opening line"

[liquidspace]

I like that trigger - only one problem in my case - he's not a ginge

[whiffey]

Sorry jno, missed your earlier answer, but I think I did add a useful tip for the would-be reparteer in a tight corner.

[tiny e.a]

Perhaps you could impress him with a few well exectuted somersaults (just realised what a strange word that is) through the air, add a few backflips and twists and turns, and finally land lightly upon his lap? You may need tonight to practise it though.

[Priesty]

Do you feel guilty that there is a village somewhere missing there idiot.

[Priesty]

50 million sperm, and you were the one that succeeded

[stewey]

I think, from the wording of your question, that we all realized that you were looking for an interesting 'opening line', liquidspace. This fixation upon the definition of 'repartee' is not really helping you is it?

[natalie_1982]

If it doesn't come naturally I wouldn't force it as you are likely to end up rather red faced. Plus he may not appreciate that kind of sense of humour, everybody is different and funny or quirky in their own little way.

I really wouldn't try to be something I am not.
Just picture worst case scenario; you make a funny, he laughs and asked you out on a date yadda yadda yadda, years down the line you marry, etc etc. and at the altar it suddenly dawns on him that you are not really the witty girl he fell in love with at the photocopier.

Anyhoo, I liked you're dry response to Neil - everyone is sparky in their own different way :-)