Does anyone know how I can help my daughter?

[Pirate1]

She is 21 and yesterday she was prescrived Prozac and I am sitting here crying that I haven't been able to help her. I'm not thrilled that she's taking them but if they help then maybe she can start living life. She only took the first one yesterday and apparently they will make her feel worse before they start working. Her problem is that she has a chance at a job she wants next week and if she isn't able to face going what can she do? She's already blown her finals at uni, blown a job interview because she cried but this one she REALLY wants. What can I do to help her through it?

[Doc Spock]

This does sound sad. What are her aspirations.
You say "blown uni". Was that important to her, were you disappointed.

Find out what matters to her and make that matter to you.
Make her feel important as she surely is.

Best of luck.

[Pirate1]

The first clue that anything was wrong was when she went into her first exam and wrote nothing and cried. She did really well in first two years so it wasn't that she couldn't do the work. I was gutted that she came so far but hasn't a degree but never let her know that. I don't care now as long as she is happy but no one medical seems to care. She plucked up the courage to go to the doctors in May and they promised her councelling. She is still on the waiting list!! The computing thing is REALLY important to her which is why she went back to the doctors yesterday but if these tablets make her zombie like it won't look good, and if they haven't kicked in then she won't be able to go through with it. She need this is her life because she's been holed up in her bedroom since end of May.

[mazie]

That's very sad Pirate. Perhaps this group could offer you some informed help

http://www.aware.ie/index.htm

[andrea81]

She may need to let go and pour her heart out, but she wont if you ask her to. I remember having a hard time in uni and throwing my dissertaion at my sister necause she was talking too much. It turned out I was stressed out about uni and couldn't talk to anyone.

She should realise that there is more to life than uni and as long as she has you and is able to take baby steps to getting what she wants she'll be fine. she may be worrying about change and her future, but as long as she knows that she doesn't need to worry about her future to that extent, you know she will be fine if she doesn't pass exams or get THIS job. she can get another.

Let her know that she has plenty of choices and no pressure at all!

[niki2002]

All you can do is be there for her..

Once the prozac start to kick in you will notice her slowly getting back to herself. She is at a time when she needs to know she is loved more than ever, She WILL get through this.

you say she has "blown" her chances at uni. She is only 21 so has got plenty of time to study and uni's are very understanding and helpful.

Good Luck

[Doc Spock]

Keep us informed, I am sure things will work out, they usually do.

[Pirate1]

Thank you all for your posts. I guess I'm feeling a bit down and perhaps a bit sorry for myself at the moment. I just want to be able to wave a magic wand and make everything alright for her because I've always been able to but this time I can't. I will pull myself together now I've had a snivel and thank you all for listening. Also thanks to Doc spock because we occasionally clash and when I saw you were first to post I though 'oh no', but you were really nice! Thank you

[andrea81]

Don't forget how you felt at 21, I had man, Uni, job , money worries. It's a lot for a young adult!

she may even feel bad about giving in to having taken Prozac, but honestly these drugs are there to help and can be a crutch to her recovery! Many people need that little help, so don't feel bad about her taking pills!

[Pirate1]

Thanks Andrea. I was also just a little worried about the press that Prozac got earlier this year about suicides etc. in young people. I will watch her like a hawk, although It's gonna be difficult because I'm back to work on Monday after the 6 weeks hols and so I'm worried cos I won't be here in the day. Oh worry, worry, worry!!!!!!

[Doc Spock]

No probs Pirate. Serious this issue, so all the best in resolving things.

I used to have a poster on the wall which read.

"Nothing matters very much and very little matters at all"

Bit silly but there is a modicum of sence to it.

[Sasha13]

I took prozac for 9 months a few years ago - certainly didn't make me feel worse to begin with (definitely not suicidal and this isn't listed as a side effect - are you sure you're not thinking of Seroxat?) felt better after a few weeks and came off them with no probs at all. Your daughter has done the right thing although it does sounds as though she's emotionally very fragile - should she really be going for a job interview while she's like this? I know many people say (and I agree) that keeping busy, i.e. working is the right thing to do, but starting a new job can be stressful at the best of times. What ever happens, I wish you the best of luck!

[LoftyLottie]

As a parent who has been through the same experience, I would say you have been offered good advice on here, especially from andrea81

Be assured that it might seem dreadful at the moment (I resorted to calling the Samaritans!), but things will work out.

She has all her life in front of her and she is still very young - still time to go back to Uni, lots of jobs to try before she finds the right one. The young fnd it difficult to cope with set backs because they haven't gone through life's experiences. They take things much more seriously than they would lead us to believe and she probably feels like a failure at present and will find it hard to be convinced otherwise. They have to learn to cope

Give her lots of hugs and lots of support (which you are doing) and above all reassurance that everything will work out. She is lucky she has you!

Good luck.

[Carakeel]

Pirate1, my daughter, who is normally an extremely confident young woman, has in the past year been through a total life change, i.e. divorce, moving to a new area with her 3 children, finding a house etc. She suddenly found she was unable to face job interviews, something she used to do with ease. They now made her so nervous that she was unable to secure a job. She then went to see a hypnotherapist and this helped immensely. At the very first interview she had after her first hypnotherapy session, she was relaxed and sailed through the interview brilliantly. Perhaps this might also help your daughter and certainly won't have the side effects Prozac and other medications can have. Therapy sessions usually cost �25-35 each, but are really worth it. Hope this helps. he can ask her GP to recommend someone. Best wishes to your daughter, I hope she feels better very soon. :o)

[filthiestfis]

Its not the end of the world to take antidepressants. Many many young people do, Including myself.

[Pirate1]

Thanks filthiestfis. Can you remember if they kicked in pretty quickly??

[sense4all]

I have a sibling with clinical depression , her medicines are seratonin based and take fourteen days to be fully in her system.When she changes medicines she has to wean off one and on to another.
Here's the official website ...

http://www.prozac.com/index.jsp
what the beeb have to say ...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/medical_note s/259747.stm

[Pirate1]

Many thanks to all who posted today. I am feeling much brighter this evening and feel more able to face everything. I do know my daughter will come through this and will be there for her every step of the way. I really am amazed at the kindness and support that strangers can offer to each other and am very grateful.

[amonty1144]

I used to be a mental health worker, sometimes drugs like prozac are the only way to take the edge of the problems, it allows you to live your life without being hysterical the whole time. Give her support and more importantly time, even if she starts to feel better, try and get her to keep on the tabs for a while. Also if she gets counselling, encourage her to go, cos she made need to address the issues that caused her to feel this way. In the long run, counselling is very helpful, have been there and it does help.
she's very young and ithe world is a scary place at times
Take care.

[KAZ]

Three words...... COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY.
Change the way You think to change the way You feel.......It will change your life!!!!!!!!!!!!