being selfish

[dot.hawkes]

I think i am being selfish now, we have had a hell of a couple of weeks and it has been emotionally and physically tough, after the funeral yesterday I was hoping that in a few weeks my family may start to get beck to a new normality. No such luck, just had an email from my cousin and my Auntie has just been diagnosed with a cancer of the bladder and it has spread to the kidneys. She has just a few weeks left. I don't think i can tell my kids, they are still carrying on the wake from Danny's funeral yesterday! What to do?

[Lonnie]

Hi dot,
I feel for you and your family, first Danny, and now your Aunt, all you can do, is carry on, and put a on brave face for your kids, its hard, very hard, but I know you can do it.

Possibly, if the cancer isn't to far advenced at the moment, you can put off telling them for a while, to give them a bit more time to get over Danny, but of course, you will have to tell them at some time.

Best wishes, and chin up.

[spudqueen]

Hi Dot. I feel so sorry for you, but I do have an idea of what you're going through. A few years ago my friends son died very suddenly aged 5. He was my (then) 5 years old best friend. It was horrendous and we definitely weren't over the shock when my father became very ill, went into hospital and died. The funerals were just a week apart. I know that I was just so stressed at the time. The best thing to do is just tell the family. It won't be pleasant but it will be worse the longer you have this hanging over you without telling them. Sometimes life hits us really hard and you just have to deal with it the best you can. I do wish there was something I could do to help. I suppose all I (and AB) can do is be here if you need to talk.

[cruella]

Oh Dot,
Dear God, I know just what you are going through at this moment.
You have had a terrible time lately.
Can empathise with you as at this moment, my Hubby is in hospital, probably in theatre having cancer removed, the same as your Aunt.
he then has to undergo 3 hours of chemo after that, so I am about to call the hospital to find out if he is down in theatre yet.
He is quite a young man, well, youngish, and has been fighting this disease for four years now.
I have been pacing the floor all day, on and off here too.
I do know what you are going through, so just hang in there. WE have to fight on!

[Kleiber]

Dot - you be as selfish as you like! You've been through a lot lately! xx
Cruella, I know what you're going through as well - my husband was relatively young too, when he was diagnosed. I've been thinking about you and your hubby today - I hope everything's OK. K xx

[Desperado]

Why would you think you're selfish?? Nothing wrong with putting your kids feelings first. That's not selfish. Here's hoping things get better for you all.