i'm sorry i don't have any relaxation techniques for you, but just wanted you to know that your blood pressure will be brought under control at some point. i've had 3 increases in medication, and also recently bought a home monitor. i think mine was in part due to 'white coat syndrome' and i've found since buying the monitor and with the latest (5 months ago) medication increase, mine is now always bang in the middle of the 'normal' range. far better to accept the increase in medication and get it down to an acceptable level, especially in view of your family history.
i'm not a good sleeper either, like yourself take ages to drop off, but i've stopped worrying about it and eventually (maybe every 3rd or 4th night) am so tired that i get a good night.
it's not easy to accept at first when something starts going wrong with our bodies, but better to know and be able to do something about it. good luck.