Help for my friend

[NatalieF]

My friend has been with her partner for about 2 years and have got a loverly lil girl together.

But the thing is he's a looser.

A load of us went out for her 18th birthday wen she was pregnant, and on the walk back home he started talkin to her like crap, he's cheated on her god no's how many times, and he gets violent!

They have moved intogether and got their own flat (through the council in her name). I have just been told that the poilce had to be called out the other night because he was gettin violent again smashing her phone up the wall because she had her best mate around.

Im gettin worried about her! My bf works with her older brother and we h ave told him time n time again that his ssister is in a really bad situation but nobody seems to be doin anything about it!

N e body got n e advice for me or a fone number for me to ring to get some help as its not fare on her or her baby

xx

[VillageVicar]

I have the greatest empathy for your friend�s situation. And I feel it�s important that she have as many friends supporting her as possible. However, the challenge is does she want the relationship to end? If she does and he has been violent towards her then she needs to obtain an order from the courts preventing him from coming near her. This will not prevent him from seeing their child. However, it will default to the courts to establish a visitation schedule.

The property is in her name. Therefore the police can easily enforce keeping him away temporarily until the courts issue an order. I would also suggest that until such time, she maintain a diary of events, detailing any aggressive behaviour and especially events that would be distressing to the child.

In any case where she has been physically hurt, it is essential for her to seek medical attention so there is a documentation of events.

But remember, first and foremost, it is she who will have to take those first important steps. No one else is able to do so.

I wish your friend well

Fr Bill

[NatalieF]

Yea but she obviously doesnt want the relationship to end!

Its just heart breakin seein her like this!

All i wanna do is kick his head in! she's so tiny n he's over powerin! im d same size as him so he should have a go at me!!

[VillageVicar]

Natalie: I share in your frustration. Unfortunately, there are many who exist in relationships such as this. For some, they don�t feel they deserve better. Others, often sadly believe that the anger expressed by their partner is their fault and they actually feel they deserve this response. The third, which I find so unfortunate is the couple who thrive on physical fighting, never caring what it is doing to their children.
I would say the best thing you can do for your friend is to be there for her. Getting directly involved could actually make matters worse for her, so in this, caution is advised.

I do wish you well

Fr Bill