The right thing to say........

[joannie10]

Morning My aunt has been diagnosed with Bowel Cancer. She starts chemo this week and the doctors have given it a '20% chance of success'. My problem is that we are not particularly close, don't get me wrong our families spent childhood holidays together and any time we now as adults get together we always say we should do it more often but there is a bit of distance between us. Anyway, my aunt is being very positive but does get upset on the phone when has to talk about it. I want to send a card obviously just to let her know I am thinking about her but want to make it up beat/ positive and perhaps even funny. Can anyone suggest the right thing to say - I am sorry I know these things should come from the heart but I am so worried about saying the wrong thing or it seeming I am only writing to her now she is ill etc. I feel by perhaps contacting her this way then she knows if she does feel like speaking then she can pick up the phone rather than me contacting her at the wrong time. thanks all xx

[beryllium]

Hello joannie :)
I think you probably already have a good idea from what you've written.
You haven't said how old your Aunt is, would she have a giggle at a silly joke? there's plenty to choose from in the jokes section here btw :) and laughter is a good medicine.
Whatever you write cannot be the 'wrong' thing because you're her niece and that is special.
Cards are so lovely. I know I like getting them out of the blue, so Aunty will love it too.
Big Smiles Jonnie :D
B. xxx

[Dassie]

".........It seeming I am only writing to her now she is ill"

Isn't this exactly what you are doing?? If you have never bothered before then sorry to sound harsh but why now? You have spoken to her on the phone and that should be sufficient. She'll get the card and think exactly what you don't want her to think and then throw it in the bin a few days later. If she gets upset on the phone then a "thinking of you" type card will have the same effect. Leave it and phone her when she's had her first chemo session.

[Le Chat]

Don't agree with Dassie. Sometimes (as with friends) the pace of life and our own circumstances mean that we don't see/talk to others as much as we would like to. It doesn't mean that we don't care.
Put yourself in her position and ask yourself what type of card you would like to receive, if you were ill.
Personally, I'd send a blank card, with a pleasantly happy picture and put something like. "Dear ...... We are all thinking about you every day here in .......... and wishing you a speedy recovery."
It's positive and does not bring into mind the possibility of the failure of treatment.
Hope this helps even a bit!
x

[joannie10]

Oh Dassie you do sound harsh. I just wanted to give her some support in her time of need. Perhaps it is just my guilt that is making me so keen to do the right thing but up until now she has been very healthy and I suppose we are both to blame for not having regular contact.
Beryllium and Le Chat thanks very much for your constructive advice - my aunt is 65 and until now been very healthy.

[Robinia]

I'm with Beryl & Le Chat on this one. I'm sure that despite her positivity, your poor aunt must be out of her mind with worry & an encouraging word will be much appreciated.
Just a card to say something like 'Thinking of you & wishing you well as you start your treatment' would be ok.
As the treatment progresses she might not feel like chatting but don't be put off sending little notes now & then.
I certainly didn't put my cards in the bin when I was very ill...in fact I still have them, 20+ years on, that's how much they meant.
Hoping the treatment will be successful. x