Guilt....who else feels it?

[Petal~flower]

God its hard.

A lone parent, not going to work, is labelled as a drain on the tax payers.

So then you get a job. (jobs do not always work within school time) remember!

So then you feel guilty about the juggling your work with the children.

Women can never win huh!

P.s I love my new job.... but the guilt is always there.

Anyone in same postion?

[Ice-Maiden]

Brilliant idea! Good for you - x.

[hau kola]

Yeah,it worked out well.My daughters old enough to stay on her own now but i still only work 30 hours so im home the same time as her.

[Ice-Maiden]

Yes - fantastic! Only thing is - don't you sometimes feel dead-beat? It must be VERY difficult to pull everything in - I find people like yourself commendable.

[Louisa 69]

petal, i'm fine thanks.

I waited until my wee boy was one before i went back out to work. The choice you have as a single parent is stay at home and be frowned upon, (by some ) as a scrounger or work and feel proud that your earning your own money.

Hi hau Kola, how was the holiday, did you ever get it sorted with the school about your daughter getting time off ? Kola i now just work 3 days so i do have a bit of time to spend with him, which helps.

[hau kola]

I have a good partner which helps.Whoever gets in first gets the tea and we share the housework-even the ironing.
Hi Louisa,got back from hols today,had a great time at Centreparcs.The head wouldnt authorise it but said it wouldnt be held against us in any way.He told us to go and enjoy ourselves so we did.

[Louisa 69]

aww that was nice of him , at least you got your holiday.

Hi Legend, yes your right, i really feel for all the dads out there who don't get to see there kids. It's sad but true that some women use the kids as a weapon against their fathers.

Hi Ice Maiden, how are you ?

[Ice-Maiden]

Hi there Louisa - I'm not too bad at all, thanks. Just got over the kids' Halloween party + a birthday party today - & now hoping that the adult Halloween party tomorrow turns out OK. Slightly exhausted - but great! Yourself?
I agree with what you said to Legend. Dads have feelings as well, and I think women who use their children as weapons against their fathers are vile.

[Louisa 69]

sounds like you've had a busy time, mind you i love a good party. What are you dressing up as ? We all had to dress up at work on Wednesday i was a witch i even had my face painted lol .Were doing fine, thanks, just trying to get some ideas for christmas , which is a nightmare, they're all fussy in my family lol. Enjoy your parties xx

[Mr k]

Oh shaz
Bloody cheer up
My life is 10 times worse than yours so pack it in NOW
yeah i might have a job but the rest you don't no about
we could all sit there and mopes around but we get on with it
Life is to short some 1 will come round when you least no
Night shaz
dave xx

[baileybird]

you are doing right and teaching your kids a valuable lesson - that money is not just handed over but that you have to workfor it and take responsibility for your own life

good for you

do not feel guilty - feel proud

the kids will be fine. 9 years old is not THAT young and dont worry about the single parent Tag - this situation crops up in loads of two parent homes

think how good you will feel not being that drain.

Well done Petal

[annie0000]

Working mothers guilt is not confined to lone parents, however, when you look at the realities of the situation, is there really that much to be guilty about - you have given your children your best care and attention and love them absolutely and ensure that they have loving care when you are not there. There are a lot of kids that never have that. I am sure that you feel worse than they do about it. In the end, however hard it is, you are showing the best example in that , in life you need to work hard for what you have, that goes for everything from relationships within the family, to building a home and bringing in an income.

That you have to do all those roles yourself is hard, but very worth it.

[Louisa 69]

That's very true Annie, it's the example that we set for our children that moulds them into the adults that they'll one day become.
I know of a family that didn't work, through their own choice. They had 2 kids who have now got homes and families of their own, and neither of them work. They are quite open of the fact that why should they work when they can get benefits. The sad thing is that they are setting the same example to their kids, that their parents set to them.

[aims1202]

I dont think anyone should feel guilty whether they work or not, and i think we shouldnt listen to what others say about us if it is negative.
All you can do is what is best for your children and for you. If you are a lone parent and that means claiming benefit then it is ok. When children are small they need their parent/s with them and that is more important than money and material things. But if working means that a parent feels better about themselves or are happier doing so then the child will be happier also.
We should all praise each other more, whatever we choose we should make parents who stay at home feel as though they are doing an important job and shouldnt feel they are 'just a mum'. But also those who work that if they believe its best then they should also be praised and supported in that.
I think every parent feels some guilt at some point, it is something that is born with the child! At 9 years old, that is not really young for you to be going to work and leaving them. It can be good for them to have some independence at that age and also spend time with you aswell.

[ollyjofrazer]

Hi, I had my boy then went back to work 6 months later then got chance of promotion to manager which i sat down with my then husband and thought we could juggle everything.the house our jobs 6 month old and 2 teenage stepdaughters. I think out of everything the guilt over ruled always and trying to juggle who was looking after him. However we split up sold house i became homeless for a while and that was stressful. Now i hav ahouse for me and my son dont work hav thought about it many times but i remember all the guilt and stress. I am on benefits for the 1st time in my life but i think i hav paid my fair share of taxes. He goes to school next year so until then i shall just enjoy the moment.All im saying i know wot your going thro and every mother knows best huh? Right now if me and my son was in tin shed i would still be happy. Good luck