Would this advice help a suicidal person?

[styley]

The other day I was reading about two people who took their own lives because their parents did not want them to be in a relationship as they were 3rd cousins or something. I started to wonder why they didn't just head off somewhere else and start a life together somewhere else. Then I started wondering if that kind of thinking would help other suicidal people. Like, if you're really fed up with your life, rather than ending it here and now, why not instead just head off somewhere, take all your money and have a bit of craic or if you have no money just try and thumb a lift and head off and see what happens. And if a psycho killer picks you up at least then if you die you won't feel guilty as it wasn't your fault. What I'm saying is why don't people think about doing something like going somewhere new rather than topping themselves, or am I being naive?

[feist]

are you suicidal? Please don't do it, it's not the end of the world, please go see a psychologist and let us know you are ok. Best of luck xxx

[styley]

Thank you so much.

[plowter]

There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have.

Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. When the pain becomes too much to bear then certain individuals consider killing themselves.

When individuals find themselves in such a situation it seems rational - to them - that the only way to end the pain is to kill themselves. The only was to prevent suicide is to demonstrate that there are ways to challenge the individual's negative thought process.

If you, or someone you know, is thinking about suicide contact the Samaritans. They have a telephone helpline and also offer advice by email.

[feist]

Btw, starting off somewhere new, would have to be a decision from both people, not just one risking their life hitch hiknig across the county with some mad axe mrderer driving them to their death!

[Bathsheba]

With all respect Styley, I DO think you are being a bit naive.People don't contemplate suicide because they're "really fed up".

[styley]

Why do they contemplate it then Bathsheba. I know there are loads of reasons but does it not generally boil down to "generally fed up"?

[Bathsheba]

Sounds like you've never experienced depression, and I sincerely hope you never do.

[plowter]

styley , if you want to understand what people are feeling when they think about suicide read the Mind Leaflet on Suicide. Think you'll find there's a lot more to it than being p*ssed off because there's nothing on the telly.

[styley]

Yeah, but why not join a charity and go to Africa or someplace to help people. Then you may feel better about yourself. That could be a program for people.

[Bathsheba]

Sounds a great idea- but how do you put it to a person without the will or energy to get out of bed + get dressed?

[styley]

Point out their selfishness towards helpless people whom they could actually help.

[naomi24]

Styley, there's a big difference between being 'fed up' and being depressed, and whilst I agree that those 'fed up' with their lives can possibly help themselves by helping others less fortunate, and perhaps counting their blessings, people suffering real depression simply aren't aren't able to think as rationally as that. Severe, genuine depression has nothing to do with selfishness - it's an illness - and it's an illness that is difficult for anyone who hasn't experienced to understand. If someone has a broken leg, society can see that and can sympathise, but when the mind is sick there's nothing tangible for society to sympathise with. Unless you've experienced depression, it takes a great deal of compassion and understanding to sympathise with a broken mind.

[JockSporran]

Some people have indeed been known to run off in a state of depression, but it doesn't cure their illness, and a change of geographical location is only a way of hiding from problems rather than learning to cope with them. Many people who run away and disappear in an unbalanced mental state just end up in another mess.

[China Doll]

Naive is one word for it styley but I think 'ignorant' also covers it.

As others have tried to explain, depression tends to be more than feeling a little hacked off with the world.

Imagine sittint in a room no wider than an arms length apart in pitch black, you know there's a door somewhere but even though the room is tiny you can't find it to open it. You're trapped in a small space in the dark knowing you can get out if you could just find the bl00dy door which shuold be easy to do and yet you just can't....

Depression feels a bit like that ^^^^

[beryllium]

Hi Styley,
I took a massive overdose a few yrs ago. Diazepam I'd been given for muscle relaxants, I took 50... Solpadeine Extra... I took 12 and a bottle of drink.
I obviously fell unconcious.... but I woke up 3 days later!!! and not a happy bunny.
My nurse visited some days later and I told her what I'd done. She smiled and commented that I had good taste in my choice of drink lol took my pulse and said was I alright now? and I said yes.
I have a strong liver.
I now am a member of Dignitas. So when I have had enough I can end it legally. I may choose not to. My choice.
I know I will die with a useless non functioning body and it's coming. Warning shots are getting closer.
I will not feel guilty whatever I choose.
I've had the craic btw :D xxx

[beryllium]

lol Party on dude :D

[aims1202]

china doll you described it well, i was going to say it feels a bit like a massive thick black cloud that is surrounding you all the time and no matter what you do you cant make it clear away. being depressed could seem selfish to others and that is maybe why some who suffer with it do not tell anyone and it just gets worse. some sufferers do feel very guilty about being depressed, knowing there are others in the world that are worse off and this makes the depression worse.
Depression is a horrible thing to experience, if you are able to come out the other end, when you then reflect back you can view that time as part of getting to where you feel you are now, it makes you who you are. it can also enable you to be more empathetic towards other sufferers.
I have suffered with depression but i was not suicidal, i did however feel that i didnt mind if i died and often went to sleep not caring if i woke the next day. So i cannot ever know what it is like to feel suicidal. i imagine some people are just not able to 'heal' themselves or able to ask for help in doing so and believe there is no other way out of depression. there are many people who go missing all the time and many of these will be those suffering with depression, this may well work for some but many i think it does not.

[babybombo]

Honestly I do think what your saying is both naive and ignorant.

The others have described depression well. But do you think it sensible to tell someone who already feels tremendous guilt that they are being selfish?
You cant just snap out of depression, it doesn't work like that.
And you have to realise that the "pain" is in the persons mind. So even if you do move away taking all your money and going somewhere else, your mind stays with you, you still have that mentality.

When someone has decided to commit suicide, they havn't just came to the decision with no thought or summing up of their circumstances. They really feel that there is nothing left for them to live for.
Bathsheba put it perfectly, you cant expect someone who cant even drag themselves out of bed to face the day to go out and do something extraordinary, or even ordinary.
You or anyone close to you has obviously never been affected by depression, and I understand your ignorance because of that, you really should read the links that the others have given you so you can gain some insight and form a more educated opinion on the subject.