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Can you change your personality

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puddicat | 19:20 Tue 13th Nov 2007 | Body & Soul
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Has anyone one changed theres due to work and how did they feel, was told told today that people said that i can be moody and aggressive, do nightshift and i know myself that i can be crabby sometimes coming to work but there again more outgoing and funny most times, devastated that people think that of me, there was other issues but thats a differnet kettle of fish, how did they feel !and if they changed was it for the better!!!and what did there colleagues think!
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Hi puddicat,
You sound like used to do before I met and married my Hubby five years ago.
My personality changed dramatically after we met.
My work was everything to me before we met and I think I took it too seriously at times, or did not even enjoy it.
Think my Hubby brought out the softer side of me, which always had to have been there in the first place. I have always been a caring person, (I hope) but looking back, maybe I was not the happiest of people before meeting him.
Think it may all be down to how happy you are within yourself. He just seems to bring out the best in me.
Hope this helps puddicat.
Was this at some sort of appraisal puddicat. If it was I wouldn't be too worried, they drag up all sorts of things. We used to all get together after appraisals and discuss what had been said and a lot of it was exaggerated by management. I think they often need to say horrible things to people and humiliate them - especially, funnily enough to the most extrovert and popular people. It's almost as if they want them kept down.

Don't try to change on the strength of this. If you have always got on well with your colleagues and feel comfortable with them, then I doubt you have a problem.
Question Author
Hi cruella not as back to black as you, i am a confident woman and get p......ssed off with inffiency sometimes and my god cru its rife here have to go for a meeting the morro with my team leader whey hey where did that title come from, want to leave but looked at jobs but such a lesser pay!
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Hi loftie no its bad, cant go into it dealing with vunerable people are they lol, it should be vunerable staff!!!
Call centre or similar puddicat? That would make even more sense to me. Team leaders are usually little hitlers and they aren't recruited from the most efficient members of staff either.
Chin up and have a glass of wine, puddicat. Don't let it get to you.
Puddi
Just listen to what your Team eader has to say before you jump to any conclusions.
It may be she has praise for you!
I have great colleagues whom I work with and for that I am lucky, but I do know what you mean about inefficiency. I see it all the time , not with my team but with other workers I come in contact with during my working day.
I let it go over my head now. I know I am doing my job, and doing it well, so no need to worry what others are doing. If they mess up, then on thier heads be it.
You know you do your job well and I would point that out at the meeting. Then again, maybe hey have recognised that in you.
Good luck with tomorrow puddicat.
puddicat,
At a guess, do you work in the Care Sector!
That can be very stressful.
Question Author
hi cruella i do, what tmakes me mad is that i can converse with others but some of my colleagues cant it doesnt make them a abad person it just means that i speak for them some times, but not going to be made a full off,getting p....sed of with not her but the managers with no names that decide my fate!
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sorry spelling a bit mis match lofty it wasnt a apprasial but a full on ********** lol.l
Hope all goes well tomorrow puddicat. I too am a person that speaks for others - it doesn't make you too popular with the management, but I hate people being put upon, and speak my mind more often than I should at times.

Don't try and change!
Sounds to me that if you speak for others they find you approachable, which is a valuable point to make.
Not being affraid of your beliefs takes honour, another good strong point. Uncomfortable discussions often lead to change, are they (the management) not keen for change?
You believe in treating people how you wish to be treated - if working in a prison, you have to give an air of authority. if working with old folk, how would you want to be dealt with when your old? If working as a security guard then you would want to be non commital to the outside world. Everyone puts on a certain face/hat when entering work. But always appear to be positive to constructive critisism. You never know....

Good Luck, take can.
It's only a job!

And you were that concerned about it you asked on AB, that must mean you care and are passionate about what you do, another excellent point to make to them (not asking AB the other bit)
Question Author
Morning all and thanks for the advice, going to cancel my meeting with boss today, to bleary eyed to go out to many tears lol, anyany will rearrange another for the end of the week. Written down a few things last nite so i am will be well armed, actually my boss is ok and i can tell her how i feel, will be better when i feel refreshed, whats going to embarass me is that the rest of the other shifts will be wondering why i am on with them, and also my nightshift colleagues will i summise be taking my shifts, and i will be there when they come on duty, some know what went on i can trust them, the others not, hopefully this will be resolved as soon as, and i will be back on my usual shifts!I will shock her though i will be all bouncy and breezy she wont be expecting that, love it when you do the opposite of what they expect u to do, was going to cancel the crimbo party cos was so down, its frightens me if i have a drink might blurt how i really feel oops!
Yup go back in with a breezy cheerful attitude - it'll stump em! :-) Read all last nights posts and understand exactly where you are...i used to work in a busy, (and bitchy) sales office and somehow was always the "mouthpiece" for everyone else. Just my personality cos I am outspoken also don't like others to be put upon. One thing I did learn though (and this might sound cynical) is that although I can be gobby and defend others till the very end when it came time for them to fight my corner it was silent.!!! Some others who are less gobby (or more wary/clever/cowardly) rely on others to fight for them (ie do their dirty work) and really is it worth it?

Sorry if I sound cynical - it's only my observation X
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Morning eve, no i totally agree with you, when we have nightshift meetings very rarely, you get some of them spouting absolute tosh,or not saying anything, i say to them later and ask why didnt you say anything or what a load of insignificant crap, and tell them that if they rock the boat too hard we will end up doing more than we do already!!!
It's dreadful how people will complain and mutter behind the bosses back and then are totally 'lick A***e' when it comes to meetings - people like us who voice complaints then get no backup from colleagues and it looks as if we are the bad guys!

Good luck puddicat. Take care.
You can't change your personality - and neither should you.

You can, however, change your behaviour.

If you come into work in a bad mood this is likely to affect your colleagues and if this is the case it is right that it is brought to your attention.
Question Author
Thank u sacha for your stating the obvious,i dont need your patronising comments, i am not a robot and cant be smily all the time, u dont know the full in and outs of this, i have been brought to task because i challenged a seniors decision to go off shift , when her child was ill, but hang on did she have someone at home that should be reponsible, who methinks yes it was her husband, and the child had a cold, and also i didnt go ooh and aaagh when other shoves her 3rd babys scan in our faces, who cant lift a bag cos she needs a risk assessment, this predicamenyt hasnt come from my house but the dark side whom i call it, we joing together as one when it suits.thank you everyone for your positive input, going to see the grand poobar the morro, my god she will have her eyes opened, ps she probably already knows!
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cruella are you there lol
Hi puddicat,
Just signed in. Been at work all day.
How are you doing today.

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