Was it wrong that he did this?

[shady_jady]

I posted a question in the Jobs and Education section about a job dilemma I'm having. I have been offered a job by the director of a company in our office block, but would really like to work for John Lewis Head Office (have interview on Monday). I'm required to make a presentation about a product range (as I'm going for a Buying position), but really lack in the confidence area. This director offered to help me prepare for the presentation and took me into his office. He then told me to present myself and describe what I'm wearing whilst tying to sell each item. He then started talking about what underwear I'm wearing, and made me lift up my top and desrcibe my bra. He then tried to make me do the same with my skirt. It's pretty much made my decision about which job I'd like to go for, however can I really pass up the chance for a good job over this?

[daffy654]

Sounds like the man is a complete pervert and should be sacked for sexual harrassment! I bet he wouldn't have made a male staff person drop his trousers and describe his undies.

[Pippa68]

That doesn't sound right at all..and I am surprised that you are even contemplating working for this guy!

[redcrx]

of course it was wrong! some may even see it as a sexual assault.
Keep away from the man at the very least!

[shady_jady]

I'm not now I don't think! He was basically making the point that I shouldn't get embarassed about things, because that's what's wrong with my confidence. Not sure if he realises it's upset me. Going to give it my all at John Lewis!

Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? Is it common? Just for little discussion topic.

[warpig3]

This has to be a wind up, surely?

[skyep]

shady, how old are you?

[redcrx]

of course he wasnt using to make a point! he was using it as an excuse to get you to flash him! and if your only lack of confidence is that you dont want to show your naked body to strangers then there is nothing wrong with you whatsoever!

[shady_jady]

Why would I bother for a wind up? You really think this is a joke? Thanks for the support. I'm sorry if the way I described it made it seem a little unbelievable, it's just not easy to put things down in words sometimes.

[redcrx]

shady, youll be surprised what people post for a wind up.

[shady_jady]

I'm 20. He used to make unnacceptable comments to a young colleague of mine, asking her what underwear she was wearing, smacking her on the bum and things, but they were fairly friendly. Didn't think he'd do this to me as I don't even work for him, or know him!

[skyep]

shady - This is totally not right! He needs reporting before this happensto someone else. The fact you felt uncomfortable is your answer to whether this was acceptable or not.

[Pippa68]

I went through similar problems when I had my first job at 17.

Not as extreme as yours ~ but I look back at it all now and get a bit upset at what some blokes put me through!

I don't mind some flirty banter in the workplace, but some of the things said to me were way beyond the pale..

[shady_jady]

Can I also just say I didn't just lift it up for him, he was standing next to me, and sort of lifted it himself. Not in a creepy way, but said something like 'you have to get out of your comfort zone and get used to embarassing yourself'. Something along those lines. Was a bit too shocked to pay attention!

[warpig3]

Shady jady, i didn't mean to offend you but surely you can see how inappropriate this behaviour is. If it is as you say then you should report it to his superior immediately.

[redcrx]

if he made unnacceptable comments to a colleague of your then how can you think what he did to you is him being helpful?

talk to a friend or relative close by and see if they will support you through a chat with the police. They may advise what to do.

whatever you do, dont place yourself in a position where your working for him.

[daffy654]

That makes it even worse in my opinion.That is a definite sexual assault,get the man reported to his superiors.

[Reverandfunk]

Shady that is perfectly normal behaviour.

Fancy a drink after work? lol sorry

You really dont need to ask the question I hope

[skyep]

shady - Definately not normal practice. I wouldn't be surprised if this man is known to the department as a bit of a creep. But this has definately crossed the line of decency! Now it's up to you what you do. He has taken advantage of you.

[shady_jady]

It's okay Warpig, I know there are some pathetic people out there that make up their stories. But I don't have the time or interest to do that, plus it's mean when people do really go through those sorts of things. He IS the superior! He owns the business, lol! Shouldn't really be laughing, but I know there's nothing I can do really. I know I should have said something at the time about it being unnaceptable and making me uncomfortable. But like I've said, something about him makes me feel he didn't think he was doing anything wrong. I'm not defending him in any way. I just don't think it was malicious.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i think if you dont report him, your letting thousands of women down all over.
The guy seems to be using your 'vulnerablity' to his advantage. There are plenty of other ways to bring out your confidence...