Help! Single for first time in years.....

[foxyroxy141]

Pleeeeaaasee can anyone give me some advice! I am about to become single for the 1st time in years (am leaving husband next week) I have never been single and have tended to go from relationship to relationship quickly. I intend having a break from relationships as I do not want my daughter seeing me with anyone else for a while until I feel we are both ready but am already panicking at the thought of not having anyone. The situation is going to be made worse by the fact we have to move in with my parents until I can afford my own place. I know this sounds pathetic but it is so long since my husband has been nice to me I can't imagine anyone wanting to me with me! I know I just need a confidence boost but has anyone got any advice please? Thanks for any help x

[cazzz1975]

I think its a good thing you are moving in with your parents, the last thing I would want is to have to cope alone at such a trying time, you will have the support of your family and things will only get better.

Its hard to believe whilst you havnt moved out yet but take things one day at a time you will become a stronger person, focus your thoughts on yours and your daughters future, dont be even thinking about new men.

your confidence will build with time, your bad relationship has put you at a low ebb, this should be time to celebrate becoming you again, being your own boss, doing the things you like, move onwards and upwards. you will love again but you have to find yourself first.

[malpal]

Bless you. There are nice chaps out there - I know - I've been married to one for 34 years. Don't have such a low opinion of yourself. Get out there and do other things for a bit especially with your daughter - she'll appreciate it SO much in years to come. You may even happen upon a new chap by accident, but I'm sure you can enjoy life for a while without one. There's so much to see and do, that doesn't cost anyrthing - parks, museums (museums are so geared up for children these days and certainly not boring) Alos I know it sounds like a cliche but enrol on a course at your local college. If you're with your parents you daughter is safe while you go for a couple of hours each week. All sorts of courses on offer from pottery and ceramics ( a great laugh) to more academic subjects. Good luck to you both.

[megan07]

Hi foxy, i agree with cazzz, also if you can try and have some quality time with friends, the one's you know will lift you spirits / mood, i wish you well, keep your chin up, love megan. xx

[loadsaluv]

I left an abusive relationship after 8 years and at first I was panic stricken as to which way my life would go with a small son it tow who relied on me for everything as his fathers way of punishing me for divorcing him was to ignore our son.However with my mother's help with child care during the day I got a job and supported us and vowed never to wed again when I realised I could cope on my own,believe me you get strength from nowhere when you have to.In time I met someone else I met someone else and after much persuasion married again,we have now been together 26 yrs and going from strength to strength.Just take each day as it comes and you will get by I promise you.All the best for the future to you and your daughter

[Scarlett]

It will be hard living with parents, but see this as new FREEDOM! I am single and absolutely love it. When I compare it with all the crap I took from various men, I would noDear Sue,

Several years have passed but I would still like to do my MA!

The course I want to do (in Canterbury) is now only available to be taken over a year rather than two. If I can, I would like to do this next academic year.

My main problem now is funding. Initially I wanted to do the course over two years and teach part-time in Canterbury. Now I am told that it is a full-time course, and students are advised not to work as all their time will be taken up in lectures and doing the practical exercises.w never go back to being a couple. I may of course meet someone amazing, but generally the amazing bit seems to only last 2-3 years and then it all goes downhill. spend your new free time doing what you have always wanted to do but never had the time for! Meet some new FEMALE friends and go out and have a laugh. Go exploring. Try new hobbies. Just learn about yourself and be content. Make the most of this time!

[Scarlett]

God my email is really broken!!! So sorry, that was half of a previously pasted question!! haha.

Hope you got the jist of my reply anyway!

[bensmum]

Enjoy life as a single person for a while! If you have always had someone else you don't know what you are capable of on your own - you may surprise yourself.
Moving back with parents isn't ideal but it could give you some space and time to be with your daughter - enjoy it! :-)

[enotrapfodne]

Please foxy I have been there many times in my life gone from one realanship straight to the next one and well all I can say is it works.
And i went straight out of a 10 year relashamship and met a new bird almost instantly like I always do (i seem to be something of a babe magnet though I cant think why cause I aint nothing speacial really) and we have lived together for nearly 3 years now and next may we will be going on hoonymoon to the dominicam republic
And when I have just lost a bird there always seems to be another one around the corner that is awaiting my presence and I can assure you I have been through quite a few in my lifespan.

Is it the feromines that I give off
And I know that I could go out there now an pull any bird that I wanted to.

But I am getting married to lippy next year so I have to be a good boy now cause I love her so much and she is the one that has captured my heart.
and I dedicake this song to her,

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Tsbei1Kbakc

Oh dear have just listened to the lyricks on that and they dont sound quite right do they.
But waddever its a brill song annit

[enotrapfodne]

And this is a bit weird I used to knock of a married woman whoes nickname from school was foxy roxy .
Thats not you sharon from collier row is it by any chance

[EngTeach]

Don't be afraid to be alone. It is not bad being alone. I enjoy my freedom. I feel I am much more of myself approaching 40 than I ever was before. See who you are. Enjoy the freedom living with yoir parents will give you. Three adults raising a child provides more free oppurtunities than just one. When you do move out and are alone with you and your daughter it won't be as easy to run out for errands, or a bit of fun without your folks there.

[steveconner]

foxyroxy, don't let anyone tell you how to feel, no one really knows every situation is different. Im raising my son alone, and i think the time you have it is important to be close to them. They are the victims, they don't deserve to be without at least one parent who cares.

Im alone after years and I'm lonely and feel unworthy, our spouses make us feel that way, because of their guilt. Remember it is not us, it is them, they say time heals all, wish time would speed up. Myself I think a good friend is what is needed, someone to confide in, some odd reason want a female friend. guess maybe to understand from the opposite sex why things happen. Problem is that many friends want more out of friendship, still searching that out.

As far as money, do not know your background, as far as work, but in todays market a hard working woman, can go a long ways, in the work force. You can try temp work to begin, to find what job fits you the best, it want be long you will be out on your on. Many new friends will come along and can help you heal.