lonely

[homerbart]

How can one get out of the pattern of not drinking 2-3 cans of beer every night due to loneliness. Dont suggest getting a pet as there is one

[Priesty]

Occasionally drink 4-5

[Pippa68]

Rather like me and chocolate ~ I just don't buy it anymore!

Join a club, go for a walk..the list is endless. I am sure someone else will come up with some ideas.

[homerbart]

I am genuinely concerned for my well-being and I was not looking for a funny answer.

[homerbart]

not wanting a funny answer from Pippa - thank you very much

[homerbart]

sorry pippa - was meaning Priesty.

[jane1098]

nothing wrong with having a drink in the evening. you could try wine. it has a more calming affect.

[warpig3]

Homerbart can I ask why you are lonely, can you not get out, have you no family or friends, do you work, basically are there reasons beyond your control that isolate you?

[Reverandfunk]

Read a book, listen to the radio or even both at the same time

[homerbart]

to warpigs - worked for 37 years and was medically retired 4 years ago but missing camaraderie of work and mates

Any clubs that one would join end around 8.30 or 9.00pm - yes I have loads of friends but we all drink when we see each other. Live on my own with my little dog but can be a long night so that is why the drink has become habitual - especially now that I dont have to get up and work. I dont be well with a medical condition so therefore cannot commit to voluntary work.

[Reverandfunk]

In my previously life I could happily go to bed at 7pm and read a book or watch a dvd in bed

[homerbart]

to reverandfunk. dont have concentration to read a book and am deaf to listen to the radio and get tired reading subtitles on television and of course tv is rotten most of the time. Anything I find okay on television is not subtitled so cant understand it. Plus I have buried 2 young nephews within a short time not to mention 20 very close relatives as well. Things just get me down.

[Pippa68]

I wouldn't worry about the drinking ~ if it really is 2-3 cans a night that isn't too bad.

You are lonely though, and as you say you drink due to loneliness of course it is a problem.

Why do you have to drink alcohol when you see your friends? at least you are socialising, which is more than us lot do. We spend all our time on here...lol.

[Pippa68]

Reading your last answer I don't think you are drinking due to loneliness.

You sound depressed.

Get to your GP ~ they usually have some great advice, and if necessary, treatment.

[helliebobs]

Morning Pippa, I was just about to say the same thing - you do sound depressed homerbart. Don't think that going to see your GP will mean he/she just bungs you on pills, they may be able to put you in touch with groups in your area.

[homerbart]

thanks Pippa for reassuring me re 2-3 cans as that is in itself worries me.

My friends come to me so that is why we end up drinking in my house. Anyway have gained a lot of weight so too embarrassed to go out. I am asked to go out quite a lot but turn them all down. I turned down 3 weddings this year but forced myself to go to a Christening. I will lose some weight next year starting in January and hopefully will gain some confidence and go out more. I have tons and tons of beautiful clothes that no longer fit me and I sure aint going out to buy the "NEXT SIZE" - so see Pippa lots of probs.

[Pippa68]

Hi hellie :o)

I should have put in my post that the GP wouldn't necessarily prescribe drugs, and that they can be very helpful regarding counselling etc.

homerbart ~ confidence is a real issue..I know, I have been there! it can be a vicious circle :o(

Make today a new day. Why wait until January? in my experience no good ever came out of setting a date in my head..or on the calendar! say to yourself ''Right, today is the day I am going to sort myself out''

Don't worry about the way you look right now. Get out there and join a gym, or even get an exercise DVD/video to work on at home. It doesn't have to be strenuous...you can get some which are very light work.

I bought the Susan Powter one. If you see her DVDs around take a look...everyone doing her exercises are on the larger side, which is great if you don't want to look at lithe women doing the splits ;o)

As for clothes ~ bin them. I kept hold of lots of stuff ''just in case they fit me again''. The rule of thumb is that if you haven't worn something for a year then chuck it..unless it is a classic piece..

[warpig3]

Homerbart, I completely understand missing the camaraderie at work, I even miss the bad times when the sh*t was hitting the fan!

Personally I dont see anything excessive in having 2-3 cans a night, its more the reasons behind it.

Is there anything that really interests you but that you have never followed up? For example mrwarpig is a WW2 fanatic and could quite happily sit and watch any programme relating to it for hours, possibly days. He now reads a lot about it and has joined online forums to talk to like minded people (thankfully).

You do have friends and you do meet them so perhaps it is more to do with occuping your free time rather than thinking about how you are not occupying it. There is so much available online now and if push came to shove you could always come on here in the evenings, but only if you are really desperate!!!!

[homerbart]

thanks Pippa and all you others for your genuine replies. Although I am negative this morning but not throwing bouquets at myself my friends think I am hilarious and I know that I am a very funny character myself - I do come from a musical and funny family and that is why I miss company because I can no longer bore my workmates with all my little stories of my life all of which are true. Sorry Pippa will leave the gym business until next year which is only a lotta weeks anyway. Although I know I will have to give up this beer to lose the weight. Bye all

[warpig3]

Sorry homerbart, you have posted more info while I was constructing my reply. Yes, there are more issues that are affecting you. It would appear that you have been through a bad time recently and that your self confidence is very low. ~But on the plus side you know what is causing you to feel like this and this is you starting point. Pippa has given some very good suggestions, please consider them.