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How to keep your sex life alive!
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I have been with my husband for 12 years now and to say the least sex is not top on my agenda. I honestly rarely want to do it and he never bothers to make an effort either because he thinks I don't want to. It's got that bad now we live like brother and sister! I have been for blood test etc but to no avail. Any tips for me?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I had the same sort of situation, been with my fella for 11 years, 3 years with no sex or real affection. Last year things changed through various reasons and things could not be better. It really does depend on each of your desires. We talked honestly and openly. My sex life is fantastic. We have lots of fun and games. Try something completely different, thats what I did and it works for both of us. Good luck. I once saw a thing on TV where a couple "told" each other if they were feeling horny by use of placing fridge magnets up or down the fridge door depending if they felt like sex or not, try it and if both magnets are in the same position, go for it !
Aw tigwig, sorry to hear you aren't pants-burningly horny!
I am 21, and tbh I feel pretty much the same, and it isn't my partner's fault. I am just not bothered. If I had to choose between sex and a cuddle, I know what I would rather! It's just a chore! I think if I didn't work or study, and I wasn't so exhausted, I wouldn't feel so negative.
I think Cinnabon is right, you need to have a good chat and some time alone. Don't know if you have kids, or other commitments, but maybe you could go out on a date every week, taking it in turns to pick where. Go back to basics-spend time getting to know one another's bodies again. It's easy to forget that sex is all about mutual enjoyment, and not about fitting it in between work and bedtime!
Toys might help, or dressing up. You could try exploring each others' fantasies? Just make sure that you are both honest, but tactful, so that neither of you feel inadequate or discarded. Lots of luck :)
I am 21, and tbh I feel pretty much the same, and it isn't my partner's fault. I am just not bothered. If I had to choose between sex and a cuddle, I know what I would rather! It's just a chore! I think if I didn't work or study, and I wasn't so exhausted, I wouldn't feel so negative.
I think Cinnabon is right, you need to have a good chat and some time alone. Don't know if you have kids, or other commitments, but maybe you could go out on a date every week, taking it in turns to pick where. Go back to basics-spend time getting to know one another's bodies again. It's easy to forget that sex is all about mutual enjoyment, and not about fitting it in between work and bedtime!
Toys might help, or dressing up. You could try exploring each others' fantasies? Just make sure that you are both honest, but tactful, so that neither of you feel inadequate or discarded. Lots of luck :)
I agree with leela -sometimes people harbour secret fantasies (nothing drastic -well can be if you want them to be) but are afraid to say.
We did and suffice to say they have been well and truly explored -slowly- as even tho I open up more (shut it lol) it took more to coax it out of him.O boy isnt he just gonna love me for this -lol
Just take a grab of his glory one morning and surprise him -think you may be pleasantly surprised.
Good Luck x
We did and suffice to say they have been well and truly explored -slowly- as even tho I open up more (shut it lol) it took more to coax it out of him.O boy isnt he just gonna love me for this -lol
Just take a grab of his glory one morning and surprise him -think you may be pleasantly surprised.
Good Luck x
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Guess what.? ... sex is not the be all and end all!!!
...over the years my hub and i have gone through up and downs (NO pun intended!) in the sack.
We're either at it like bunnies or...curled up in our jammies by 8pm...the phases always depend on how much stress we are under etc....
so try not worry about it too much...if you're going through a quiet patch your lustiness will probably return ...and then it'll be loads of rumpy pumpy to make up for lost time.
:-)
...over the years my hub and i have gone through up and downs (NO pun intended!) in the sack.
We're either at it like bunnies or...curled up in our jammies by 8pm...the phases always depend on how much stress we are under etc....
so try not worry about it too much...if you're going through a quiet patch your lustiness will probably return ...and then it'll be loads of rumpy pumpy to make up for lost time.
:-)
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