Road rage

[Potatoman]

I am the worlds angriest driver. I admit it. When i get in the car, i become angry at the slightest thing. I would never hurt anyone, but apart from pulic transport, does anyone have any tips on keeping cool behind the wheel?

[smudge]

Yes, just remember all the innocent people either 6 feet under, cremated or lying in Intensive Care Units around the world, who were subject to impatient road ragers like yourself. That might help calm you down a bit.

[football]

Leave the house with loads of time to spare for your journey. Drive defensively (take a course), treat other drivers a idiots & let them pass. Expect them to 'cut you up'. Let oncoming traffic cross your path safely. All this because you are calm & not in a hurry.

[football]

Drive like hell & you'll get there!

[Potatoman]

Smudge, by sister died in a car crash. No one knows exactly what happened. Thats why im angry. thanks for your insensitive answer

[smudge]

Potatoman, how can you call me insensitive! You ask a question headed 'Road Rage' & on how to calm you down when driving, because on your own admittance you are 'THE WORLDS ANGRIEST DRIVER' then slate me for my sensible reply. I & others wasn't to know that your sister died in a car accident, so surely this alone would be enough for you to reconsider your driving tactics. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart that you have lost a sibling, but have you considered that I may have lost someone near & dear too?

[smudge]

If I'm insensitive, does that mean that football's immature 'Drive like hell & you'll get there' attitude, deserves *** too. What a contradiction!

[BenDToy]

Potatoman, sorry to hear about your sister, and I am glad that you at least recognise you may have a problem My advice is similar to football's. Accept that there are a lot of bad drivers on the road, and give them a wide berth. Recognise that making a drama of it by aggressive driving or behaviour will not alter that; rather it re-inforces their view that everyone else is at fault. Just feel smug about avoiding situations which may result in drama.

[Greedyfly]

Breathe - I know it sounds easy but it often isn't. Become aware of your breathing - feel it going in and out. It really calms you.

[Philtaz]

Potatoman, take it easy on smudge. If you say no one knew exactly what happened to your sister in the crash then how do you know she wasn't in the same frame of mind that you are when you get into a car? I'm not being judgemental it's just that I work in the Operating Theatre and see a lot of damage, pain and heartache as a result of 'angry' driving. I am also often perplexed at the state of driving by other people. I just shake my head, issue a few expletives under my breath and drive on. It's the best way. Again without being 'holier than thou' your tragic experience ought to make you take a step back when on the edge. Chill out behind the wheel is all I'm saying.

[andy hughes]

Might I suggest that your time behind the wheel is your chance to express the anger you feel the rest of the time? Isolated in our own world, often alone, we get the chance to behave badly, and it takes some self-awareness to keep a grip on things. Try listening to some favorutie (soothing) music, or maybe a talking book to occupy you, and distract you from the attitudes of other drivers. Otherwise, try and elminate what ever is making you angry in your day to day life, which obviously manifests itself when you are driving.

[smudge]

Thank you for your kind words Philtaz. I really admire the work that you do. Also, I watch all the Trauma programmes on TV & see enough to realise that another few minutes of one's time & patience on the road, can make a substantial dfference to one's life!

[jills]

Go to anger management classes before you do something stupid. You say you would never hurt anyone, but your anger is clearly not under control if you are asking ABers for suggestions to help you keep cool. Very sorry for your loss Potatoman. Maybe you could look at bereavment counselling to come to terms with the (understandable) anger you feel specifically relating to your sisters death? I hope you don't think this is insenstive too, but I know a friend who was in a very similar situation to you (re a car related death) and it helped them a lot.

[Doolallygirl]

I think people have blown Football's answer out of proportion. When I read it I thought it meant that if you drive badly you will end up in Hell, not that you will get there any quicker by getting frustrated and angry behind the wheel. I'm quite an aggressive driver too, but I'm never dangerous when driving and I'd never get out of my car for a confrontation. When I have an "incident" of bad driving happen in front of me I do the same as Philtaz and generally just swear a lot and get on with it.

[smudge]

Yes doolallygirl, 'Drive like hell & you'll get there' does have a double meaning & could be misconstrued. I don't think the very hot, muggy weather helps in situations like this, but anyway, hope you all have a nice cool, peaceful day.

[pigface]

Potato man, as part of my job I have to spend a significant part of the day driving in and around London. When I started the job I used to get very angry and stressed and it affected me mentally and physically. I beleive that the source of the problem was frustration - I really didn't expect the standard of driving to be as bad as it was; whenever someone cut me up or pulled out in front I took it personally and shouted. Why were they doing this to ME? I learnt a solution though. It comes in two parts. 1. Expect that other people's driving will be bad - whether you get angry or not the standard of driving on the roads will still be bad - so WHY bother getting angry - it won't get you to your destination any faster. 2. Don't take others bad driving personally - everyone is just trying to complete their journey and when they cut you up they don't see a person they just see a car. Again this will happen whether you get angry or not. I now drive in a more relaxed style and get to my destinations just as quickly, but more relaxed.

[Jocasta]

When I learnt to drive my driving instructor said to me "if you assume that everyone of those guys out there is a w**ker and drive accordingly then you'll be ok"...I never get road rage, just try to get in your head that if someone is driving like a div (ie ladies driving close to your bumper)there is nothing you will do to make them drive better- they just wont GET it. On the other hand if someone is driving like a tosS*r then just imagine that one day they will be wrapped around a tree and you'll still be driving peacefully and carefully like you always do. BTW, I am a lady driver who is a GOOD driver, not a bimbo or a boy-racer.

[smudge]

I'm glad you mentioned you are a GOOD lady driver Jocasta, as I like to think I am too! Some drivers can be so rude, ignorant & arrogant, but it gives me the greatest of pleasure not to come down to their level.

[Philtaz]

smudge, Thanks for the sentiments.

[smudge]

My pleasure Philtaz. Carry on with the good work!

[vittoria]

in addition to other suggestions may I suggest good old Bach rescue remedy before you drive. If you buy the spray it is so easy.