What do you do...

[mistys]

...to help take your mind off something you don't want to think about?

I've done so much cleaning over the last few days and read lots of magazines. I've tried coming on here, but it doesn't feel the same when you have trouble fitting in with the jokes.

So can you give some advice on how to distact my mind. Bearing in mind I am at work, it's just very quiet today. Thanks guys - xxx

[4getmenot]

Someone you need to get out your mind like an ex or someone that has passed away and its upsetting you thinking about them?? Because I find if its someone thats passed away its nice to have memories and if its an ex its nice to imagine them passed away :-)

[mistys]

I feel silly saying it, but I am really struggling to deal with it. My cat was run over and killed on monday night. I am really upset, loved her more than most people, she was like a little best friend to me. I have been remembering how great she was, but it's really upsetting. I want to be able to take my mind off it for a while. - xx

[Octavius]

Difficult as many things you do as a distraction end up by association, reminding you of what you wanted to forget. Our minds play havoc with memories, stress and tension with unpredictable (or in many senses predictable) results.

Why not search the internet looking for your next holiday?

Sometimes the best distraction is talking about it.

[4getmenot]

Wooops feels bad now for making a joke out of it

Its one of those things in life i'm afraid that everyone has to go through. In time you will be ok just never forget her xx

[mistys]

Thanks Octavius, I would love a holiday, but due to work and finances it wont be happening anytime soon. I wasn't exactly happy with things in my life before and now everything seems worse. I have been talking to my mum, but she is upset too, so we both end up crying. - xxx

It's ok 4get, your comment did make me smile. I wont ever forget her, she was my little fur ball. I miss her so much already :o( - xxx

[4getmenot]

Hit the town with me this weekend, take your mind off it :-)

[~Wingnut~]

Hi mistys

So sorry to hear about your loss. Don't feel silly about it, I had my pet ferret put to sleep last year and cried for days! it was awful and I really felt the loss. I still miss him now but it is easier to deal with.
When I have things troubling me (which is usually all the time as I have anxiety) I start a hobby or continue with one. I have made many a cushion cover, jewellery, fabric advent calender, loads. I bought a sewing machine so the list of things I can make now is endless. Concentrating on something else has worked wonders and even makes you feel better about yourself when you finish something and you think "Wow I made that!"

It's stilll very early days yet and your loss is still very raw but gradually you will start to feel better and remember your little loved one and realise that you are smiling instead of crying :o)

[mistys]

Thank you so much wingnut, thats great advice. And I used to do a lot of sewing, so maybe I should start that again. Will help me relax and concentrate on something else.

I don't know how long it will take me to get over the loss. She was so young, and I keep trying to tell myself that without me she wouldn't have even had what little time she did. When I first got her at seven weeks she was extremely tiny and under nourised and scared of people, we wasn't sure she would surivie. Then she became this crazy little huge fur ball so full of love and hugs for me. I will miss her forever, but I do have many good memories. - xxx

[mumb40]

sorry to hear of your loss mistys but sadly i have no answers for you but wish you well

[mistys]

Thank you anyway mumb - xxx

[Octavius]

Aww, when my cat Boo died of kidney failure a couple of year�s back I cried for days. My cynical friends trying to be humorous asked if I was upset because of the �2,500 vet bill. I did see the funny side of that at the time, but Boo was still a loss to our little family.

As I said, talking about it helps, and crying etc is all part of the healing and coping process - so never hold back. It gets easier.

[Lil O'lady]

Poor Mistys. Try to see it from your beloved cat's view. With no real sense of the future or the past s/he lived and loved entirely in the present. Any fear at the point of death was incredibly fleeting and s/he had the most fantastic life, courtesy of you. You have fond memories of a dear pet and now must move on by getting out, about, maybe feeding stray cats, maybe going down the RSPCA shelter - just looking.
My stripey tiger was killed by some bstard in a car last November. It hurts at times but life goes on if you will it to.

[tigwig]

please don't feel silly for crying over a cat. I have been devastated every time one of my pets has died. I had a guinea pig that died in my hubbys arms on the way to the vets and I am not exaggerating but we cried for weeks and weeks. Anyway, just think that you gave your cat a wonderful life, she is in cat heaven and will not have suffered. Try and do something you enjoy that makes you laugh. What about a nice day out somewhere? There is nothing like a day at a theme park whizzing on rollercoasters to take your mind off it if you like that kind of thing! Take care xxx

[leelapops]

Oh mistys, you poor thing. You must be missing Penny terribly. I really like Wingnut's advice in particular. Sewing sounds fun, and you could do some funky stuff to your clothes, for example...If you don't mind, you can buy a new outfit from charity shop and glam it up with your creative skills, and then you will have something new to wear, and a few days will have passed in the grieving process.
I really am thinking of you lots chick, and the offer of a listening ear is always there. I hope you know that :)

Big hugs XxX

[cuddleMe]

hey mistys,

tips:
1)go for walkies,-shopping ;)
2) play loud music or clubbing :P
3) phone a friend n talk for hours
4) mags/cleaning
5) UCAS- ur uni stuff?? lol
6)travelling?

hugs hugs send me a long email if u ever need to :) i might take my laptop with me soo might log on, if u ever ned a chat, for now, me need early night, my heads stil buzzing take care hugs xxxxxx

[mistys]

Thank you lil, tigwig, leela and cuddles.

Lil - thats a really nice way to think of it, she did live in the presant and was always happy and boucing around the home and garden. I have lots of images of her chashing birds and butterflies in the garden. - xxx

Tigwig - I am trying to think of things to do that i enjoy, just money and time are a bit spare at the moment, talking about it has helped tho. And I'm really going to get back to my sewing and designing clothes. - xxx

Leela - You have been great my lady, thank you so much. I have no problem going into charity shops and there are plenty around here, think I;ll try and get there before work tomorrow. I know your there to talk to and I appriciate it so much, just knowing makes things easier. Thank you honey - xxx

Cuddle - All sounds like great advice, and your be pleased to know I have started my UCAS application form, it certainly took my mind off things, just gave me a raging headache. Will continue to complete it this weekend. Thanks for being great these last few days too. Hope your enjoying your time off, speak soon - xxx

[horselady]

Don't feel silly, most of us know just how it feels. I had a dog killed by a train years ago, out for a lovely walk, she chased a rabbit and was gone, straight across a railway line, though a hedge and fence that you wouldn't have thought she could get through but she was so hyped up. I'll never forget the pain of having to walk back home without her and telling the kids what had just happened. I cried for days and days.

[mistys]

Oh horselady thats a horrible story!! <<hugs>>

I was lucky in the sense that I wasn't there, I'd been visiting that weekend, but came home a day earlier than planned. If I had been then I think I would have been a mess, I wouldn't have been able to handle seeing her helpless. The memories I have are all good ones, and for that I am thankful - xxxx

[hau kola]

mistys,i really feel for you, ive been through this and its awful.As you say you feel silly because its "only a cat".But its a cat that is your family and its making you hurt.
Time is a great healer, you will learn to live with your loss.
Take care.x

[mistys]

Thanks hau kola, everyone has been so nice to me. It only happened monday night, but that seems forever ago. Been dragging me down all week. I will be ok, and have really been distracting myself today, other than when posting on this thread, and even then I'm only remembering the best things about her. Thanks again to everyone - xxx