Double Entendres

[BertiWooster]

The following are some of the best Double Entendres , spoken on TV and radio

Which is your favourite ?

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava fromBulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when DarylGibson comes inside of him.'

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovelyhorse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn'tthat nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of theOxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) isplaying so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out hisballs and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

7. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

8. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look Northsaid: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold nightlike this."

9. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on SkySports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

10. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

11. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to

[sddsddean]

Sport does throw a lot of them up, doesn't it. I remember the good old Radio 4 Test Cricket commentary "The batsmans Holding, the bowlers Willie"

[emeritus]

I dont know if this realy happened but

Johnnie Craddock inviting viewers to make their own Doughnuts and hoping they turn out looking like Fanny`s

[Aquariel]

I'm sure the Craddock one is true - I believe I have seen the video clip of it, but that might be time playing tricks with my memory.

A few others:

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." - Metro Radio

"There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class." - David Coleman

"And at 7.10 we'll be meeting the WPC fingered by her own police force." - Fiona Phillips, GMTV


And don't even mention Murray Walker. He gets a section of his own!


Loads of these "Colemanballs" things here:

http://www.geocities.com/mikey_wbt/colemanball s/colemanballs.html