ChatterBank0 min ago
Crying, or the lack of...
7 Answers
This is really FAO all you Psychoanalysis out there, I guess of all levels!
These last few months have been emotionally trying almost life affecting for me, on paper any typical human should cry in this situation yet I'm not. There are times I set myself up for the water works but I can not get them started, I've suddenly gone all Spock.
Is there a logical explanation why this is the case?
The following might help; maybe it's my subconsciousness telling me the situation's "not as bad as I think it is" or it's just the fact that I've grown out of crying. I refuse to believe in the latter, I respect the concept of crying I find it comforting, soothing and a sign of finally letting go of something as well as "letting it all out".
These last few months have been emotionally trying almost life affecting for me, on paper any typical human should cry in this situation yet I'm not. There are times I set myself up for the water works but I can not get them started, I've suddenly gone all Spock.
Is there a logical explanation why this is the case?
The following might help; maybe it's my subconsciousness telling me the situation's "not as bad as I think it is" or it's just the fact that I've grown out of crying. I refuse to believe in the latter, I respect the concept of crying I find it comforting, soothing and a sign of finally letting go of something as well as "letting it all out".
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Well I rarely cry myself. In fact I'm much more likely to cry because of frustration or anger than I am over sadness of just being fed up.
Perhaps you've hit the nail on the head in your final paragraph when you say you've not let go. If you feel you're suffering an actual bout of depression (as many of us do) then in my experience you're not that likely to cry as you're more likely to get very apathetic about situations and feel emotionally disconnected and cut off from the world. If you can relate to what I've just described then you may be suffering mild depression and a trip to your GP's would be recommended who would be best placed to advise you.
If that really doesn't appeal, then a good diet, exercise and writing your thoughts down when you feel sad (helps you track your moods) might help your seel more balanced. You can also take suppliments like St Johns Wort but that will take about a month to kick in.
Just don't give yourself a hard time about your lack of tears, if you're feeling low it's very easy to start beating yourself up over every little thing you do and also very easy to over analyse.
Perhaps you've hit the nail on the head in your final paragraph when you say you've not let go. If you feel you're suffering an actual bout of depression (as many of us do) then in my experience you're not that likely to cry as you're more likely to get very apathetic about situations and feel emotionally disconnected and cut off from the world. If you can relate to what I've just described then you may be suffering mild depression and a trip to your GP's would be recommended who would be best placed to advise you.
If that really doesn't appeal, then a good diet, exercise and writing your thoughts down when you feel sad (helps you track your moods) might help your seel more balanced. You can also take suppliments like St Johns Wort but that will take about a month to kick in.
Just don't give yourself a hard time about your lack of tears, if you're feeling low it's very easy to start beating yourself up over every little thing you do and also very easy to over analyse.
I have had a pretty cr*ppy life, and like everyone ive had my fair share of tragedy. But sometimes it takes a long time to hit you. When my dad died, I was sad but didnt cry for years - one day it just hit me. Different people have diiferent ways of dealing with things, Some people dont need to cry. I personally am not much of a cryer, as said before I am more likely to cry out of anger. Maybe you just dont need to cry right now, maybe you just need to be, if that makes any sense?
In the west there has been a prevalent view that crying is 'good for you, a cathartic release. However just because a viewpoint is widely held doesn't mean it is correct.
I am in no way a psychoanalyst, but have been trained in therapy and my background doesn't value 'letting it all out' over and above ' holding it all in'. Best is what ever floats your boat, suits you.
If you think of crying as just a means of communication, it helps ( I think) to make sense of why sometimes it seem right and appropriate and at other times just isn't the medium to use. Like smiling and laughing is possible when you are grief stricken or anxious or in another emotional state that doesn't immediately seem a fun time.
A friend recently told me about her inability to cry about her diagnosis of cancer and she is a cancer counsellor so is used to her clients weeping buckets, but it just wasn't the right response for her, which surprised her.
Me at the moment I start crying at the least and often no provocation - its not helping, its not healing its just damned irritating.
I am in no way a psychoanalyst, but have been trained in therapy and my background doesn't value 'letting it all out' over and above ' holding it all in'. Best is what ever floats your boat, suits you.
If you think of crying as just a means of communication, it helps ( I think) to make sense of why sometimes it seem right and appropriate and at other times just isn't the medium to use. Like smiling and laughing is possible when you are grief stricken or anxious or in another emotional state that doesn't immediately seem a fun time.
A friend recently told me about her inability to cry about her diagnosis of cancer and she is a cancer counsellor so is used to her clients weeping buckets, but it just wasn't the right response for her, which surprised her.
Me at the moment I start crying at the least and often no provocation - its not helping, its not healing its just damned irritating.
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