Terrible 2s !

[shortee]

My son is nearly 3 and has gotten into the habit of being really rude when he gets angry. He mainly tells people to shut up, go away and calls them stupid. This has been contained to family members at the moment as he's only just started nursery, but I fear that it'll carry over to nursery before long. I've tried explaining that he's being rude and that's naughty, taking away priviledges, the naughty step, breathing exercises to calm him down (got that one from Nanny 911 !) and ignoring it but nothing works. When he's good he's an angel but when he gets himself in a state he's a monster. I hope this is a normal phase that'll pass, but if anyone has any gems of wisdom I'd be grateful !

[andy-hughes]

It sounds like the sanctions you are using are not having the desired effect, so you need to rack them up a notch.

Longer on the naughty step, exclusion from family time, longer loss of toys, confinement to bedroom, and keep increasing until the message gets through - bad behavioud means unpleasant consequences. When the consequences are sufficiently unpleasant for him, he will get the message.

The rule is to be consistent and firm, don't give in - this is a battle of wills, and you must win, for both your sakes.

[onlyme26]

aww bless, i think i remember the terrible 2's! my daughter wasnt to bad just touching everything and wanting everything lol

all kids are different, my daughter is 7 now and if she is cheeky or answers me back, i make a point to say,

its not nice to talk to mummy like that , we arent friends anymore, and then ill be really silent, she hates it!! and she apologises instantly, sounds cruel but she isnt naughty that often and if i need to get her to bed and she plays up she gets cheeky and it works every time, she hates the thought of me falling out with her.
then when she does apologise, i just say to her its not nice to speak like like that coz it can upet people, and we have a big kiss and cuddle,

maybe try the silent treatment, kids DONT like being ignored and they need to learn that them doing these things can be upsetting and kids really dont like it when they upset you.

xx

[Solarjunkie]

Does he have any permitted way of expressing his anger? It sounds as if he is having a job dealing with peoples' variations, it's all very confusing when you're nearly 3!
How about an Angry Cushion, a specific cushion that anyone in the family can pummel when there is anger that needs letting out.
Perhaps a bit more " yes you can do this when you're feeling angry" as opposed to "no you can't do that" may swing the situation.
Good luck.