Why can't people think for themselves???

[debbz1969]

I've got a bit of a gripe/rant.
I HATE it when people say " I don't know what to buy you for christmas, what do you want?"
Every year I think about the people that I'm buying for and think of something that is personal to them that I hope they will like. I hate giving vouchers (although there are a couple of nephews I give vouchers to) because there doesn't seem to be much thought in a voucher. So because I take the time to think of individual gifts for people it really annoys me that they can't do the same for me. And believe me, I am not difficult to buy for.
Just realised that this sounds quite selfish of me, I really don't mean it to because I'm not like that, but to me Christmas is not about getting what you want but the thought that someone has put into a gift......
Does anyone know where I'm coming from with this one?

[sleepyj]

what do u want for christmas ?

[funnygirl]

Come on Debbz, you must have been stumped at some time!!!

It is hard to think what to buy, especially if that person has nearly 'everything'.

There is always the chance that someone else will come up with a unique present and solve this present giving nightmare!!

P.S. Any ideas for a 4 year old boy????

[redcrx]

best thing to do if you cant think of anything to get someone is not to get them anything. The next year youll be surprised how helpful they are :)

debbz, there are always some people who are difficult to buy for and it easier to get a list from them. At least that wayyou know your presents arent getting the old "oh thats nice dear" and its going into the back of a cupboard.

[Rosetta]

I agree, it just feels like laziness to me. Its not about money either, I would much rather a small gift than money or tokens. However, when money is tight I know some people don't like the thought it will be wasted on an unwanted item

[debbz1969]

That's just it funnygirl... I DON'T have nearly everything, I am very easy to buy for and always grateful. It's the same people every year. They can't be bothered to think what I might actually like. I love surprises. Then I have another friend that insists on telling me what she's bought me. Now that really ticks me off.
She even tells her 10 year old daughter all of her pressies. She wouldn't know what a surprise was if it went up behind her and said "BOO!!!!"

[MrBounty]

I get what you're saying and i do agree with it, but since i've "grown up" (im 29 now) i see Christmas less of a time for presents and more of a time of being with family and friends, forgetting about arguments and battles - if only for one day.

People ask me what i want for Christmas and most of the time i tell them i dont want/need anything, not because i want them to think for themselves, but because i genuinely dont care about the presents.....i want one day of the year where everyone (i.e. my people, not world peace - thats another matter altogether!!) is friendly and loving.

I take Christmas as being a time to remember those that aren't with me anymore - this will be the second Christmas without my grandmother and i would give every present ever given to me to have her back - that, to me, is more important than what im getting from this person, or that person.

We're all different and all have different ideas about the 25th December, so, although i see what you mean about thought going into presents, i cant agree with or disagree with you, as this is not what Christmas is about for me now.

[LoftyLottie]

I agree with you totally debbz. I don't buy many presents, but I put a lot of thought into the ones I buy. I love surprising people and usually spend ages thinking about what to buy them.

My husband or children have never asked me what I want for Christmas either - so last years Nintendo DS and some games were a lovely surprise!!

[Gourmander]

I hope you didn't scare BOO!

[4getmenot]

I like to know that I have bought somethign the people want rather than something they will not use. Even though you put thought into it how do you definately know they actually like these presents and arent just saying they do? You dont so I prefer my family to write a list and I pick some

[debbz1969]

MrB, this is exactly what I've been trying (obviously not very well). It isn't about gifts, it's about 'THOUGHT'. Some people like to show their thoughts by way of a gift, but there isn't much 'thought' if you can'y be bothered to 'think' about it.
But one thing MrB.... Perish the thought that I ever have to "Grow Up". I love christmas, more for my children now than anything, it's a wonderful magical time for kids. I love it....

[LoftyLottie]

Surely, 4get, you should know your good friends and family well enough to know what they do and don't like and what gift will really please them. I love to see people opening gifts and getting a complete surprise.

I have learnt now that If I have enter hint to my family what I would like for Christmas, it's a sure thing that I won't get it!

[4getmenot]

Oh yes I do and my friends I think off presents for, but hey even I dont know deep down if they like them or not. I would have thought my friends would know me but I tend to get presents that I know they would have liked for themselves. But some people just dont know. My family still get a suprise but also a main present I know they want.

[LoftyLottie]

These days most people can afford to buy things they really want themselves (I am not talking high priced items - just clothing, jewellery, CD's etc. etc.). People shop all the time and shopping is a hobby.

That is why I like to give gifts that people would not think of buying themselves.

[debbz1969]

Lofty, bless ya x x x x x. Why is it that other people can say much better what I am thinking?????
Some of the best gifts I have had over the years have been cheap little trinkets and bits of nonsense really, but with these things there has been some thought and love sent with them.
One year one of my best friends didn't have much money, she is very artistic and made me a gorgeous xmas tree ornament and a card with most lovely poem inside it. I have treasured that for years and will never part with them.

[LoftyLottie]

Having said all this, I am really struggling about what to get Mr LL!!

[4getmenot]

well thats lovely but people are different

[MrBounty]

Debbz, dont get me wrong, i do love Christmas, but it's just that there's less emphasis on the present giving, in my opinion, that when i was younger.

Since my gran passed away, i've become more appreciative of the people around me which i dont need to show by giving gifts.....if you know what i mean?

[debbz1969]

Yes, MrB I know what you mean, and I sincerely hope that I haven't come across as someone who is only bothered about what I'm going to get because NOTHING can be further from the truth.
But on a more serious note at 29 (especially being male) you are far too young to 'Grow Up' ;-)

[MrBounty]

I'll take that as a compliment......must be the youthful good looks!! :)