This is just a cry for help!!!

[onlyme26]

hello i think im posting this for reassurance you cant give me but im doing it anyway!!!

im worried about my 20 week scan :o( i have it next week and ill be 21 weeks!! my boyfriend is really really excited, but i cant let my self feel excited as im so scared
i love my baby, i can feel him/her moving around and feel them getting bigger, i want my baby to be ok and healthy
dont get me wrong i think im strong minded and if for example they told me the baby had downs or maybe a disability it wouldnt change my love for the baby one bit, i cant wait to see my baby and hold them and love and care for them, but what i worry about is if they tell me the baby has a bad heart or kidneys havent grown properly, what if the baby is really ill and chances are slim for survival, how do i cope with that? :o(

are there any circumstances where they can make you have a termination due to the babys health?? i dont want to do that, i cant do that :o(

cant help but worry, is there anyone out there been through this or heard the worst at their scan, how did you deal with it??

[funnygirl]

I have had no scares, but I really don't think they can make you have a termination. It is truly up to you.

When that girl who had the co-joined twins found out at her scan, she carried on with her pregnancy.

[daffy654]

The chances are your baby is fine :)
Your midwife would have picked up on any major problems with growth or heart. I reckon all pregnant women are nervous before the 20 week scan so you are not alone in that.
Under no circumstances can the medical profession force you to have a termination even if there was no chance for the baby's survival,so put that thought right out of your mind!!!

[onlyme26]

THANKS GUYS!

with this and my other daughter playing up im wreck at the moment :o(

i hope im worrying over nothing, i will find out next week anyway

:o)

[redcrx]

awww onlyme!
its perfectly normal to have such fears with scans, and probably more so given the sad news of baby Hope this week, its brings it to the forfront of our minds.

if the 12 weeks scan was fine and youve been healthy and your blood tests have been fine to this point then im sure all will be well.

Just try and relax (easier said than done i know) and enjoy the peek at your little one next week

[onlyme26]

my scan was fine and the baby was 11 weeks old, i have only had one appointment since and i had blood taken, 3 lots!! and heard nothing back so i assume this is good ?????

this is silly i know, i have a 7 year old but dont remember panicing this much lol, i do remember worrying but not this much!! x

[redcrx]

if youve heard nothing from your bloods then yes all was well.

i worried more with my second. I think, for me, it was because the first all seemed unreal, with the second you know all about pregnancy and what can happen and you also know that you have such a special bond with your children

[onlyme26]

i know exactly what you mean, i know so much more now then i did 8 years ago when i was pregnant, so i know there is more that can go wrong and i know now how gutted i would be,

thanks for your advice xxxxx

[redcrx]

dont forget to tell us how the scan goes. xx

[4getmenot]

My friend had to tereminate her baby at 4 months due to Edwards Syndrome. she has dealt with it in her own way and she is very strong. But you need to stop thinking the worst. my friend found this out from her bloods so as you said yours are fine chances are you will have a healthy baby

[onlyme26]

awww no i just looked up that on the net , id never heard of it before,

see i was discussing things like this with my boyfriend, i said worst case senerio the baby is diagonsed with something where their life expectancy was very short, like the edwards syndrome, what would we do?

i mean what do you do, i think your friend was very strong to terminate and obviously is the best option especially as the baby was only 4 months, but that must have been sooo hard for her, but what if you get diagnosed late on with that??? past 20 weeks, i know how they terminate the baby at that size, i looked it up on the net, ( god i wish i never) and i dont think i could do it, knowing what they do

:o( i seriously need to stop panacing :o(

[redcrx]

do not google for pregnancy related illnesses or things that cn affect unborn babies!!!!!

its just asking for trouble. Do not look anything up unless told to by a GP or midwife, you can scare the hell out of yourself for no reason if you do!

i learnt that with my first lol

[4getmenot]

she made exactly the right choice though she would never have seen her little girl suffer any pain and thats all its short life would have been. most people only really know about the test for downs so she was unaware herself what it was. it was very sad and she has since lost another but she looks at it as it just wasnt their time yet..

[4getmenot]

I know its hard not to worry. I dont have children but am already worrying I wont be able to have them. lol And I worried when all my friends were pregnant and my sis redcrx. :-)

[whiskeysheri]

Aww, 4get, I worry about that, too, already! Weird, eh?

onlyme, as red has advised, don't look anything up that you don't need to, it'll only put worries in your head that don't need to be there. I'm sure everything is fine, especially as nothing has been picked up on before. Just enjoy it. Let us know how it goes. x

[4getmenot]

well I just think the amount of times I've done it in my life, if I havent got pregnant now I never will tee hee.

[whiskeysheri]

LMAO! That's exactly what went through my mind! I've never had a scare, though (touchwood), so perhaps that's why... :)

I dreamt I was pregnant last night, too. Spooky!

Sorry for the hijack, onlyme. x

[4getmenot]

yer I guess because half my mates were always pregnant and the other half had scares that made me think I couldnt. :-) and I;m sure this is taking onlyme mind off it and she's just laughing at us now lol

[whiskeysheri]

Too true, 4get. I've been surrounded by super fertile ladies and always been a shoulder in the past to mates who have had scares. You watch, we've jinxed ourselves now; we'll both be having twins when it happens now. :)

[4getmenot]

I am due twins :-) skipped a generation on both sides of the family :-) and funnilly enough I always have a dream that involves two little blonde haired boys :-)

[Ice.Maiden]

Redcrx is right. It's perfectly normal to fret over scans and other tests and stages of pregnancy, but most babies are born healthy. If you google stuff, you'll scare yourself silly.
Our second child was born with autism, which wasn't apparent at first, but even if there were tests to determine such a thing before birth, I'd have still gone ahead and had him. He's a beautiful and fascinating child, and things haven't always been easy, but looking at what a fine young man he's growing into now (he's 9), I can't imagine life without him, and he's loved just as much as his brother.