Guilt???

[Drisgirl]

Please no trolls.

As some may remeber I have lookked after a semi invalid -couldnt get GP out blah blah blah !!

I she was finally admitted to gospital and was in for 6wks.

Dhw was released and I have in the main been caring for her -imagine how I feky when the lunchtime home helkps came today for her key and she had been lying from 7pm from when i left with all her medicationjn.nightclothes and hot water bottle in place as per usual - until lunchtime today -she is in a bad way.I managed to get her daughters who live down southgand thankfully the taxi from the airport diverted to the hospital -she is unconcious and the last words she said was Maureen get my wedding ring ( it kept falling off) I knew i wouldnt see her again.She fought the good fight and and her girls are with her -i'm bleeding devastated -she was my wee neeb who i washed dressed -held the basin to when she was being sick -went in every day -fed her -laughed with her -what am i gonna do??? Least she has her girls with her -thats what she wanted -hopefully after the carnage I saw today.she will drift peacefully away......

I am so glad i contacted her girls as it doesnrt look like she'll make it through the night and at least her precious girls will be there.

Dont anyone slate me for this one -its been a sore one from start to finish-especially today-in fact dont answer i just need to get it out my system -why did i leave her???

[Panic Button]

You are a saint.

If only there were more people like you.

[jno]

you left her because you are not a fulltime carer but a person who has to live her own life; you just can't be with someone 24/7. No wonder you feel hard hit, you lost someone close to you, but it doesn't sound to me as if you did anything wrong at all; and if you had been there, really, would it have made such a difference?

I know it's tough, we're all going to be old some day and we hope people will be round us when we go... but you know, if I'd been her I don't think I'd be blaming you in any way.

No slating for you, no way.

[Drisgirl]

I was typing too fast and typo'ing like mad -please ignore in fact please ignore I just had to get it out my system !!!

This is so slow -little wonder I was typoing lol !!!

[Drisgirl]

Thank you both -I just feel if I had waited another 15 mins she wouldnt have lain for 15 hrs but as you say you cant be all things for all people but i I could have looked out my window like i normally do to see if her lights were off -I didnt last night and i feel so very sad.Maybe her time had come -who knows?Thanks anyway peeps -think she would have went sooner rather than later although she is now 'just' unconcious' at the moment but at least i got her daughters in time -she'll know they are there !! Hey thats from Guernesey and Surrey at lunchtime so even unconcious she will know her girls are there -So sad !!

[tatu]

god bless u drisgirl

[gelda]

Please don't feel bad Dris, you were a saint to her and she probably wouldn't have lived so long if it weren't for you, you did all you could for her and she knew it.xx

[Schutzengel]

Drisgirl,
You are a very special person, and have done all you could for your friend. There are many people in this world who would wish to have a friend like you. Bless you. Schutz.

[DaisyMae]

Strange how it always seems to be the ones who have done all they can who have this burden of guilt at the end. So many people just complain about the old ones because they want company, compassion and understanding - and too often these old ones are shoved off into a home for someone else to take care of while the family gets on with enjoying life - no guilt there. You, Drisgirl, stand out as a shining example to us all as to what real compassion is and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You will feel the loss no matter what any of us says to you, but be sure that no-one will slate you, you have done nothing wrong and have given one old person so much. God Bless you.

[Mamyalynne]

Dris nothing anyone says will stop you thinking how you are thinking right now . Guilt is part of the process, you did all you could, try to have no regrets.
Take care
Mamyax

[Drisgirl]

Thank you all so much for your very caring and compassionate words -she passed away peacefully at 12.30am with her daughters by her side.At least she will be with her precious husband now.

[Mamyalynne]

Oh Dris let yourself grieve knowing you were her special friend her time had come. Cling to the happy memories.
God Bless
Mamyax

[Naomicorlett]

I feel for you. I nursed my darling dad used to rub his back and call him the bony king of nowhere . Sending you lots of blessings.

[Barmaid]

Dris, you have no need for guilt. YOu did far more than than most would. The fact is, you cared when she probably had no one else close by. You had to leave her because you have other demands on your time and you have your own life. Don't feel bad, feel happy that you helped her last days on this earth to be better ones because every day, she knew someone cared.

[chinadog]

I don't know you Dris but all I can add about this sad and sorry affair is ,because you were her carer and really cared for her if you get my drift then don't apportion blame to yourself. The lady would have known you did your utmost for her and I hope she's at peace now. One day at a time Drisgirl. x

[firetracie]

Oh Dris. Bless you. If it hadn't been for you she would have been on her own for the past weeks except for lunchtimes by the sound of it! You cared for her, were there for her and got her family there in time for her.

She'll be blessing you for the rest of your life.

[chicho,bird2]

want to chat
driss ill ring you now if you do

i feel for you at this moment

dont feel guilty think of
the comfort and love you gave her at the time you were always with her
take care hun

love monty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Drisgirl]

Aww bless you all -her daughter has just in the last while phoned me with the funeral arrangements -its going to massive -no need for me to explain why but it will be so they are only having a church service then a private burial with only the closest family and special friends and she had me down as one -i feel so priveleged (sp?) to have been thought of all that time ago when she was revising her will (I remember when she di it in the summer as she told me the girls were coming up so things were to be made easy for them) but she has named about half a dozen special friends and i'm one.I cannt tell you what that means to me as she is one of the most well known and loved people in our surrounding area.I was emotional when her daughter phoned but now I feel better to an extent.Again thank you all -just need to get this vision out my head and i'll be better.

Monty phone me any time honey xxx

[legendis.god]

Dris these things seem to happen everyday.+
We dont realise or notice until it happens to us or someone we know.

We can only do our best , after that its in the hands of, well fate id say.

Go to the old dears funeral and pay your respects , and grieve , thats all we can do.

Hope this helped , i dont like to post overly about death , for personal reasons, so hope you are ok.

Leg

[Drisgirl]

I know -its all too much for me to handle at the moment Leg and i appreciate what youre saying -think im just exhausted by it all -the mental and physical burden but thanks for all your kind words and i will move on xx

[MWB]

What do you mean, No trolls? What is a troll in this context?