my nan

[firewatch]

I just guess i want this off of my chest i am in pieces tonight. We were told this afternoon my nan, who was taken to hospital yesterday following a suspected severe angina attack, has in fact got a torn major blood vessel next to her heart. The operation to fix it only has a 10% success rate. She all so has a mass in her abdomen, which if its like her mother, could be cancer. She is 79, and my idol, i cant bare the thought of loosing her.
my husbands doing his best to take my mind off of it but i cant believe this is happening.

[firewatch]

Velvetee, im a lady!! My nan is my second mum, she looked after us alot when we little.
I am overwhelmed by all your kind thoughts and words.
I love her dearly, and its hard being away, because when i was at home i did all the looking after when someone was ill.
My poor gramps is lost!
I hope she is not in pain, she has been in it constantly for a year with her arm, im hoping she is floating on a cloud of morphine!
No word as yet how she is today, no doubt bossing the nurses, but i will keep you updated, once again thank you for your many kind words, it makes me happy to realize there are some good people out there. Nanyjill., her name is Doreen, thanks honeyxx

[smudge]

Hello firewatch, I'm so sorry to hear about your Nan, bless her. It must be a very difficult time for your family & you, especially as she is like your second Mum.

Ray's posts brought tears to my eyes, as I often pop into the Church at the end of our road which has a message board & I write little notes for all the loved ones who have left us & for some that are ailing.

Although I don't know you or your Nan, I will do the same for you both later.

Arms around you. -xx-

[Muzz]

Dear Firewatch,
My thoughts are with you too. I'm not sure why I clicked on this area, as I usually only read the Quizzes and Puzzles section, but I think something brought me here.
Anyway, I lost my Dad last year, he was 87, and it was very, very sad. But I was with him at the end, and I like to think that he knew I was there, holding his hand etc. They say hearing is one of the last things to go, so, if you do manage to get to see her, say all sorts of things to her. It is so hard, at a time like this. You are living through this trauma, and everyone else is going about their normal business! But, from reading some of the other comments, there are kind people out there, and it is just nice to know that others are thinking of you at this time. Be strong, for your Nan's sake. And don't get mad with hubby, he is doing his best! I was exactly the same, I didn't really know what to do. And, remember, if the worst happens, you will have all sorts of lovely memories and your Nan will be in your heart forever.
Love, Muzz x

[firewatch]

Sit rep, my nan is a little better today no pain thank goodness.
The hole appears to be trying to do a self repair, but they dot know to what extent. There biggest worry now is what the mass is, they are still not sure.
I lost my mum when i was 11 and my nan has taught me alot, to loose her would be like a light being put out.
I pray now her heart recovers enough for her to have an op on her bowel if it is possible. Thanks again guys, i feel blessed to know you lot, and yes she is bossing the nurses!

[Mamyalynne]

firewatch lots of love to Doreen who to all intents and purposes is your Mum, and to yourself and the family too. I know the fearful thoughts you are having as I lost my beloved Husband last August after 34 years together. Be strong and lets hope they get her better.

Mamya xx

[raysparx1]

Hello again firewatch, so good to hear your nan is slightly better today. hope you mnaged to sleep a little and you can rest slightly easier tonight, I pray that with nursing and rest she slowly recovers and that things start to look a bit brighter, that the very dim light in the far distance becomes brighter as the dawn takes over from the dark night, still have you in my thoughts, good luck and take care, Ray xx

Hi lovely smudge and mamya, mamya, I remember your posts, hope the fog has lifted very slightly for you as well, I do often wonder how you are doing, look after yourselves and the ones you love. xx

[firewatch]

Thanks Ray, yes I was able to get some sleep, i had my second CBT today so really had to sleep.
Im feeling a little happier knowing that she is fighting, its a big battle but at least we have some hope!
You guys are fantastic.xx

[bensmum]

So pleased to hear there's been some improvement firewatch. She sounds like a strong lady and I hope she gets through this
xxx

[Nannyjillx2]

Firewatch what good news you must be delighted.

I have spoken to my priest and he has added Doreen to his list and it goes without saying that both you her and your grandad were in my parents last night.

It's never easy to see a loved one suffer.

Stay strong.

[firewatch]

Bad news today, my nans blood pressure went through the roof last night.
My dad went to see her today and his precise words where 'i will be surprised if she makes it through the next 24 hours'.

[Mamyalynne]

Oh sweetheart i am so sorry, I really do feel for you all. Be strong and know that if it is her time to go she remains in your hearts.
Call on the happy times and be thankful for them.
Love Mamyax

[raysparx1]

Hi firewatch, so sorry to hear that, I just hope that she is pain free, she is in the best possible place and thay are all doing the best they can, if she can get through the next day or so, maybe there is some chance she can pull through, but obviously the worst could happen, and if it does, you will then have to concentrate on grandad, he will need you to help him through some hard nights, because they are far harder than the days. the only comfort is that the memories will be with you forever, god bless, Ray xx

some words for you.

Memories are the loveliest thing
they last from day to day
they can't get lost
they don't wear out,
and can't be given away.

[sheribee]

firewatch, im so sorry to hear your nan is so poorly, my thought are with you!!
Is there no way you can get to her? I know the weather is pretty awful, but i can tell you from my experience, i was glad i was with my nan when she passed away.
I dont think i would have coped if i wasnt there, i got to say my goodbyes and held her close as she went, and stayed with her for a while afterwards, which really helped me to come to terms with it.
My nan cared for me as a child right from birth, my mum was young and single and nan looked after me while she worked. Then my mum died when i was 15, she was my rock and like yours, a second mum.
Go to her, be with her, and tell her how much you love her!! Take care x Bless x

[ruthann58]

hi firewatch i have only just seen this post i am sorry your nan is so ill i am thinking of you all love to you all ruth

[firewatch]

Thanx again you guys, im greatful for your kind words, i have been pacing like a caged animal tonight since receiving the email, my hubby does not now what to do with me.
Sheribee although the weather has cleared and it smells like rain, i would like to remember her as the healthy nan, not sick pained person, who could not enjoy her one life weakness, food. I saw her last saturday for a few hours and she even in the short time since i had seen her (December last year) had changed alot.
Although i would like to be with her i think, i would happiest remembering her as she was, not is, do u understand??? My husband is eager for us to go but.....
Again Ray and Mamya, the words of strangers are like a blanket of warmth in those cold moments.
All i can do is sit and wait for the phone to ring,i guess......

[afcjan]

oh sweetness, I am so sorry to hear your sad news, never give up hope will send u lots of love and light xxxxxxxxxx

[Nannyjillx2]

Firewatch I am so sorry and my thoughts are with you, your nan,your grandad and all your family.

[Mamyalynne]

firewatch you do what you feel is right , don`t let anyone persuade you otherwise , but whatever you do remember that if and when the time comes you will experience guilt as its a part of the package. Speaking from the heart there, do take care and don`t shut hubby out he`s doing his best in a difficult situation.
God Bless
Mamya x

[raysparx1]

Hi firewatch, I have just read your last posting, and I can completely understand what you are saying, you want to be with her, but you want to retain the memory of how she was, mamya has summed it up, only you can decide if you want to go, I am sure you have thought long and hard as to what is the right thing, so if you decide not to go, be happy with that, all I can say is, I wish you and all the family, love and strength to get through this, take care, Ray xx

[ruthann58]

hi fire watch only you know how you feel and you have to go with your heart on this ,if you can not go could you speak to her on the phone or is she to ill or perhaps make her a tape that they could play to her in hospital even if she is not concsious she will hear it. you dont have to say much justa few words then perhaps a song she really likes .hugs to you ruth xxx