I have a little problem at work which is escalating into a big one.
I worked with a guy 2 -3 years ago until he moved to another area. Once he moved he started emailing me in a friendly manner which then turned into flirting one. It was flattering but I wasn't interested because he is married with 3 kids and I'm not attracted to him. I stupidly played on with the flirting thing until I went on long-term sick the year before last. Luckily I never gave him any of my numbers so he couldn't contact me.
During the time I was sick I met my now current bf. When I went back to work last February everything was fine and I never received any contact with the other guy for several months. I then started getting emails from him just before Xmas. I've told him that I'm with someone and that I'm not into having affairs but he doesn't seem to get the message. We were friends before and I just want to carry on being friends.
Apart from not answering he emails what can I do? I see him quite often in the canteen in the mornnings when I get my coffee.
of course he is`nt getting the message if you have been flirting with him ,the poor guy is probably hanging waiting to hear from you,stop all the flirting and explain to him you would just like to be friends and nothing more and every time he makes innuendos tell him to keep it simple ,i think you`ve used this man feelings to boost your own ego.
what i think you should do is apologize for leading him on.
How about not answering his e-mails, and could you take a flask of coffee to work for a few weeks, so you don't need to go to the canteen. If He doesn't hear from you, and doesn't see you, he might begin to get the message.
I've tried all that khoey. I've said to him so many times that I'm not interested but he won't stop. He doesn't have any feelings for me. He just wants fun.
People flirt all the time - half the time it is meaningless - don't feel bad and certainly don't apologise as khoey suggests - khoey are you male?
The guy is married with children so how do you know he isn't just enjoying an innocent bit of flirting? Plenty of that goes on on this site, but it doesn't mean anything is going to come of it does it? Or has he made it clear that he is wanting more?
Thats the trouble Cath. He does want more and I have said NO. Doesn't stop him emailing me though. Maybe I should just stop answering his emails as Schutz says. Although my sad little flask of coffee won't taste as nice as the canteen cappuchino! Lol
Tigger. Missing out on your cappuchino for a while, will be worth it for a bit of peace. I wonder what his wife and children would think if they knew of his stupid behaviour. I think you should try my suggestion, you've nothing to lose.
Mark his emails as junk and dont open them and dont reply. As Dot suggested - don't go to canteen.
We all get ourselves into situations which on hindsight weren't too smart. Get yourself out and stay out and .learn from the experience.......good luck...
Ohh well don't think it would be easy to carry on now as friends.
Cant you change the time you take your break? Don't answer his emails for a while and hope he doesn't come down to see why not. If you feel like this why are you answering them anyway?