Sexual partners

[Hyphen]

What would you consider to be the maximum acceptable numbers of sexual partners for someone? Is it different for men and women?

[El21]

You cannot really say as it depends on how old the person is.  For example, if the guy or girl wass 18 and slept with 6 people, then that would be regarded as easy (my opinion!). But, if they were 32 or so and had been with that many, then that would be ok.  If I met a guy and he was 32 and had slept with 6 or 8 people I would not entirely happy, but it would be acceptable.  However, if it was anymore (double figures!!) then NO WAY!  Stud! :)

[El21]

Why are you asking anyway?  Is this a personal question for your own past??

 

[nicola_red]

Totally depends on the person. Some might consider, say, ten too many, others would say that's not a lot at all. I personally wouldn't be worried by how many people a partner had slept with, apart from considerations about STDs which is a bit of a different issue really. Hyphen are you just strying to wheedle people's numbers out of them? Because I'm not telling!

[natalie_1982]

I agree with Nicola, as long as the person in question was 'clean' and always used protection, and that they were being faithful to me I can't say it'd bother me that much. I mean if we're talking hundred's then I'd probably wonder why they felt they had to sleep with so many people but it wouldn't put me off them necessarily.

[Hyphen]

No, not after numbers, just curious about people's opinions of what is considered to be the 'norm'. And it nothing to do with me, just wondering what other people may think and if it's the same as me.

[CiderMonkey]

i think quite a few people think that it's ok for men to have had more partners than women. I think it's a shame that girls get labelled a sl&g if they have slept with more than a few people. But just because someone has slept with a lot of people does not make them a bad person. They may just really enjoy s�x and have had more opportunity than most! I think if you go round doing it with a nasty attitude, not caring who you hurt and being disrespectful to those you sleep with then that would be a problem. But i don;t think you can really say there is a maximum acceptable number.

[ICEMANSAV]

Well a girl I knows bed looks like a beaver has been at it!! Pardon the pun!

[georgit79]

I don't think I want to know people's answers to this question...

[georgit79]

You also have to take into account whether said person has had many long term relationships- if so, he/she should have spent a considerable amount of time sleeping with one person only. If said person is single, however, he/she could quite reasonably have slept with several people during this time.....I'm not talking about me, honest!

[stoo_pid]

Agree totally with nicola, natalie, cider & georgit - for either gender there's no maximum limit.  One problem with having a limit is, it's totally subjective.  To use an example from this thread I don't think 7 or 8 partners by the time you're 32 is a particularly high figure at all (in fact some people I know would regard that as a very low figure!) yet it would be a problem to others.

To be honest though I've never really asked any of my partners exactly how many they've slept with anyway.  But if I did & they could remember the exact number straight away then I would say that's not a very high figure.  If they had to start working it out or even couldn't remember then I would say it's quite a high figure.  BUT even if it were a high figure by my definition, I don't think I could ever feel my partner had slept with too many.  After all, they met her before me and more importantly each one was her choice.

 

[georgit79]

Good answer stoo_pid. And I've just noticed too...7/8 partners by the age of 32- that's nothing! Unless you've had long relationships with each and every one of them.

PS: I'm trying not to give too much away here...

[georgit79]

El21- are you saying that if a guy you met and really liked had slept with 10 people or more, then you'd rule him out?!

[nicola_red]

You really never ask them stoo_pid? I always want to know...so I s'pose I must make some kind of judgement based on it...but I do always ask.

[stoo_pid]

Nope, never asked specifically.  Its come up in conversation a few times but only because they asked first.  I've never felt it was any of my business really & to be honest I would feel like I was somehow keeping score.  Does that make sense?

[Hyphen]

I think it's acrually better not to know myself, it can prevent any possible future jealousy arising, well for me anyway!!

[nicola_red]

Oh yeah, it makes sense. I just don't know how you can resist asking! I must just be nosey...

[zgma]

It would be more important to me whether someone had had many strong relationships, and had slept with those people, or whether they had had the same number of one-night stands or very short relationships... I guess because I have more respect for sleeping with someone because you love them, than for "sleeping around."  The attitude is more important than the number. 

[natalie_1982]

I've never asked my fella, as I don't really want to know. I know it'd bring out the green eyed monster in me and so I don't ask from experience! I agree (without giving anything away either) that 7 or 8atthe age of 32 is low.

[CiderMonkey]

I think i'd want to know how many my partner had, mainly just to be nosey like nicola_red! I don't know if it would bother me although perhaps it would if it was in the hundreds!! Me and my bloke had that chat early on in the relationship - he told me his number first then asked me. I REALLY didn't want to tell him as his number was less than mine, but i thought it would be best to just tell the truth. He admitted later on that he was kind of shocked, but that it was more jealousy really as he wished he had that many chances! He said that although he would have preferred me to have had less/the same amount as him, he wouldn't want to change it as it's part of what makes me the way i am. what a doll!

[Jamie Lewis]

If you take someone at the age of 32 and they have slept with 16 people from the age of 16 this may sound like a lot of partners to some. But it only equates to 1 partner each year which is nothing.