cheek from a 15 year old boy

[albaqwerty]

how would you deal with/handle cheek from a friend of your son? I'm not impressed and told him so. Not an ounce of remorse, thought it was hilarious. I didn't. (Having said I didn't think it was hiilarious am considering posting this in "How It works :D) duh teenagers.....

[trt]

I forgot to add pinktwink,

When you mentioned about children being abused physically and sexually in catholic schools in Ireland, it reminded me of how many Priest have been charged with similar offences?

[Beauj]

parrafin where I lived there was a family of 21 and you know what, Nobody ever hit them!!! Work it out for yourself!! In the house their Ma never had the time and their Da was too tired probably - - - - - on the street, well most of us could do maths - - -There were too many of them!!! Hit 1 you hit 21 - - - NOT!

[Ice.Maiden]

Lol beauj - in the nicest way, I assume you came out of it OK, but children DON'T have to be hit to make them submissive to their parents wishes.
I think - and it works - that if parents show respect to each other and to their children, then the children return it - and so on.
Most teenagers go through a stage of rebelling, but if they hear foul language or see violence, they're going to think this is the norm, and copy it.
I have 4 sisters and a brother, and none of us'd dream of being rude to our parents, even now. We were brought up in a house full of love and respect, and my own children are also brought up in this way. No hitting, no verbal abuse.

[pinktwink]

i kn ow its not a religious issue my point was too often parents didnt listen to their children who where been hurt. All the schools in ireland were catholic years ago so no matter what they said it went and they ruled with an iron rod. It is only nowadays we know of the hurt and anguish that people suffered. Unusually in ireland education was run by religious orders it is only now we have state schools

[trt]

With the best of respect Ice,

Not all Family's are the same as yours, and you only have to read or see the news of how the latest generation of kids are becoming the future nightmare of the UK.

[Beauj]

Ice, all of my family are like that, really and truly love, they are. Just me Ma, RIP, her nerves were bad, the aul C.O.L., I think was her problem! Anyway, I never concerned myself much regarding getting a thumping, but my sister has resented it all her life. She started off with the view never to hit her kids, by the time No 3 came along, that idea was out the windy!! But as I said, I always only needed to give any of them a look and they calmed down. Yes, with other parents a lecture works - - - honestly? I prefered me Ma's hand to her lecture and she never used a cuss word in her life I can also state that. But she used BIG words that I never knew what the hell she was talking about!!! LOL on me!

[trt]

pink,

Why do you keep on about Ireland and catholics years ago.

We are no different than you, we have the same problems, and always will.

[trt]

pink,

Why do you keep on about Ireland and catholics years ago.

We are no different than you, we have the same problems, and always will.

[Beauj]

Sorry, meant the last to PINK! Poor pink, everyone is getting on your case now, but they don't mean any harm love. I also was brought up in the Irish RC school system and know exactly what you are saying in-connection with that to be the truth! & when going to a Covent School from 11yrs old, the nuns were hateful cows - - - sorry but true! But sure all their ways are exposed now, unfortunately there were great nuns & priest & still are, just they have now being painted with the same brush!! Pity the didn't speak out years ago on the wrong-doers!

[pinktwink]

trt

yee are different to the irish in so many ways. We are not a mixed religion nation as yee. the schools in the uk are not all run by catholics. The amount of clerical abuse in ireland is greater than in the UK

Also perhaps if more families were loving and showed respect therr wouldnt be so many social problems

[paraffin]

We all have our views on how to deal with insolent and/or downright belligerent youngsters.

Some people prefer the softly, softly, more subtle methods, whereby others believe in corporal punishment being the most effective way of conveying displeasure.

There are pros and cons for both but ultimately, as far as I'm concerned, respect is something to be earned and is not automatic.

I just wish some of these teenage gangs would realise that. I hate to hear that some youngster has been stabbed to death because he "dissed" one of his peers. Or for any reason!

So much is dependent on a youngster's formative years and if good examples are not shown to those who are so impressionable, it will in all probability leave a lasting impression into adulthood. Then it may be too late. The die is cast.

[Ice.Maiden]

Have to just say though, that 2 of my siblings went to private Catholic schools, and they couldnt've been treated better.

[pinktwink]

thats because they were UK schools Ice !! inspite of what trt says catholicism in the UK is different. In irelansd it held the primaery place in society which was ingrained in our constitution until recently

[trt]

OK. I'm going to bed now but before I do I will tell you I have 3 girls 1 boy.

They all got a mild/hard slap during their teen years years and were punished in other ways if they disrespected their mother, me or other members of our family.

None of them have been in any trouble with the law and they all have responsible jobs, three with the medical profession and the other with the police force.

I am not boasting, just proud that they all turned out OK.

[Beauj]

pink, I'm from the North, and believe me, it was no different here and it was not part of the consitutions per se. But, like the South and UNLIKE the UK, we did not have the oppurtunity to transfer to other schools> God forbid < we'd had the Priest at the door threating Ex-commumication! in the '70's when my cousin got into Trinity, the PP came and played hell with my Aunt & Uncle, ended up, cousin had to go to QUB whether she wanted to or not! Hopefully we have changed somewhat from then. I just went to QUB, I hadn't the nerve to apply for anywhere else - - shows the power these people had over us back then!!

[pinktwink]

there are many styles of parenting some work for different people i personally dont agree with slapping and was never slapped.
well you can be proud your children have turned out well trt

[sparkler]

I do agree with PARAFFIN there are different views/approaches on dealing with children! When I was younger I got the belt ect it didn't do me any harm and if i'm honest it probably made me the person I am today! However I would never do that to my son. But at the same time he's a lot cheekier/naughtier to me and his dad than I woud've ever dared to be to my parents lol

[pinktwink]

children are freer to develop and explore more today without living in fear of a hiding , overall that must be healthier for there development. Too often people made choices to suit their parents like career etc and endded up with lots of regrets

[Ice.Maiden]

Yes, I agree. Providing it's not what I consider to be "abuse", each family brings their children up in the way which they think's right.
The one thing which I'm sure of, trt, is that many of today's parents don't know how to control their family, using a happy medium - if at all. bring your children up to respect themselves and others, and they won't go far wrong.
been an interesting topic albaqwerty!

[Beauj]

Good Nite all, yes, could debate this one for hours, but I'm for the Doc's in the morning to get the 'ringing' in me lugs checked out!

Final thought 'Spare the rod & Spoil the child' Me Ma's war-cry!!!!