Feel like I don't belong...

[jennyjen02]

For a while now I've just felt like I don't belong anywhere.

I HATE the general university culture. Basically everyone I know at university is just obsessed with alcohol and clubbing, it's just not my scene! They seem to have no real passion for anything, just getting drunk. I wish I could fit in, but I just can't. :(

I really like myself for being different, I just wish I could find more people my age who are the same. I just want some friends in my university that I can relate to in the same way I can relate to a couple of my friends here at home.

I've never had a boyfriend, and feel like I'll never meet anyone I'd be happy to start a relationship with., except for one guy, but he's gay. Am I being stupid for worrying that I'll never meet someone? I suppose it will just happen. I'm just lost.

[Poppy]

Hi Jenny,

Sounds to me like you need to join some sort of group or society, something you're interested in. There you will hopefully find people who are passionate about things other than alcohol. Are you interested in any sports? Why not join a climbing club or something healthy- this would be more likely to attract people who have more to do than drink and who care about their bodies.

Unfortunately any action you do take will need a great effort on your part (sitting around waiting for things to get better will not work) but this will make it even more fulfilling when you meet likeminded people. A meaningful relationship is far more likely to develop in this sort of setting.

You do sound a bit lost at the moment but you also sound strong. So be strong and make it happen for yourself. You will.

[Razzle09]

No Jenny.....you're not lost. You're on AB and no better place to be for here you will experience diversity.

I'm delighted that you have not felt the need to 'fit in' by the use of behaviours that clearly are not your style. One of the opportunities that university affords is the social experience and an opportunity to earn about others.

You don't have to be anything other than you are. You don't say how long you have been at uni or which one it is. Usually there are a number of clubs that offer common ground for you to meet others with similar interest. As for the boyfriend........patience...they will appear...please give it time...meanwhile just concentrate on the studies and get support from friends at home. I know this is not an easy time but trust me you will get throught it....X

[Eve]

Go and get involved in clubs and societies, if you aren't sure what you will enjoy then just go out and try things until you find something you really get into.

I did loads of stuff at uni connected to the union, was part of the RAG (charity) and volunteering groups and got involved in running events and all sorts of things and had a great time.

If the student stuff doesn't work then look around locally to see what's going on there.

[jno]

yes to what everyone else says. In a place the size of a university you'll certainly find others who don't spend their time binge-drinking; but like you they'll probably be a bit isolated. (Organisations tend to revolve around socialising; nobody forms clubs to spend time not drinking.) As Poppy suggests, build on the things you do like and find others who share your interests. Sure, most of them will be drinkers too, but that won't be the main thing on their minds. And stay different!

[Charisse]

jennyjen02, I am only going to add to the comments made and I admire you for not conforming.

Join a group as suggested or start one of your own. I wager that there will be a lot of people in your position.

Let us know how you get on.

[sqad617]

If you don't like University life, then you are in the wrong place......pack in and let somebody who would appreciate the opportunity take your place.

You have posted this problem previously.

If you want to be a doctor then face up to the medical course as it is and not what you would like it to be to suit your needs.

Pull yourself together, as in the medical profession life and it's problems will be tougher for you in the future.

Have you got what it takes to be a Doctor? I don't think so.

Now go out there and prove me wrong.

[ummmm312]

That was a bit harsh sqad. I think it's just the social side she doesn't like.

[sqad617]

ummmm........I wonder....so why can't she continue her social life outside the University..?

University is not just for study, it is for getting to know other cultures, other "classes" of people and other interests. She is adding NOTHING to the life of the University and in my opinion wasting a valuable place at Medical School.

I stand by all that I have said.

[ummmm312]

Fair enough.....but if the only people she knows are the ones who are drinking and clubbing then she just needs to make new friends.....not jack it all in.

[sqad617]

ummmm...she knows that but for reasons best known to her she can't or won't.

Medical course, medicine and treatment of the sick is all about integrating with people.....she can't do it.........medicine is not for her............"jack it in" or "pull yourself together:

[ummmm312]

You know best :-)

[Poppy]

It seems jennyjen came on here for a bit of a pep talk, which, let's face it, we all need from time to time.

It's unsurprising to me that some medical students are less likely to enjoy the other side of student life but being at uni will hopefully roughen up their edges a bit.

If all our doctors gave up that easily squad617 then there's be nobody there to sew you up when your sharp tongue accidently lacerates the rest of your poor, cynical body. ;-)

[sqad617]

Poppy...she isn't a doctor yet.

She hates University. How is she to survive 6yrs of training?

Will cost the tax payer �30,000 at least to train her.

She may be taking up a place best suited for someone who would benefit from a University Education. but wasn't accepted because of the INTENSE competition for medical school places.

[Razzle09]

That's an interesting paradoxical intervention Squad.

I did not read that she was unhappy with the course...just the environment.....maybe I missed something..lol

[sqad617]

Razzle........University AND the course are synonymous .................i.e. you can't have one without the other.

[Razzle09]

Sqad.if that's the case then support is needed in the areas with difficulty. You don't pull down a whole building....... especially if the rest of it is sound. 'Shore-up' until that area can be developed and if it's a new build in the case of jenny....potential can be seen fairly quickly.....but then maybe you know this poster well. I tend to encourage individuals to stay in difficult situations rather than walk away in the hope that learning takes place and if she is going to work in medicine the experience will stand her in good stead...maybe I'm wrong.... :-)

[sqad617]

Razzle........correct....it is up to jenny....that is why I said in my previous posts:

"Have you got what it takes to be a Doctor? I don't think so.
Now go out there and prove me wrong. "

She needs a kick up the back side, not a multitude of platitudes.

[peeved-of]

Or maybe the big headed squid is wrong razzle.

Have you ever thought of that then squid? my god he gets worse on here

[sqad617]

peeved of.....LOL LOL...never thought of that possibility...LOL