Crosswords0 min ago
Postman Pats last day
It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for �50.
At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.
The family at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by Debbie, the dizziest blonde in the village, dressed only in her lingerie. Pat was somewhat surprised, but she put her finger to her lips and took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When she had exhausted Pat they went downstairs, where the Debbie fixed him up with a monster size full English breakfast - Bacon, Eggs Sausage & Tomato with freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he could eat no more she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a �5 note sticking out from under the bottom edge of the saucer. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five quid for?"
Well," said Debbie, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you."
"I asked him what to give you, and he replied "F*ck him - give him a fiver."
She smiled at Pat and said, "The breakfast was my own idea".
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for �50.
At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.
The family at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by Debbie, the dizziest blonde in the village, dressed only in her lingerie. Pat was somewhat surprised, but she put her finger to her lips and took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When she had exhausted Pat they went downstairs, where the Debbie fixed him up with a monster size full English breakfast - Bacon, Eggs Sausage & Tomato with freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he could eat no more she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a �5 note sticking out from under the bottom edge of the saucer. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the five quid for?"
Well," said Debbie, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you."
"I asked him what to give you, and he replied "F*ck him - give him a fiver."
She smiled at Pat and said, "The breakfast was my own idea".
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