Modern mum

[Sqad]

Mrs sqad's friend has just been on the phone saying that she had had the grandchildren over the weekend and they were a nightmare and that she would never have them again.

Naughty disobedient and rude.

Now 40 yrs ago, that problem would have been solved by a well aimed slap over the leg or bottom, but today this is abuse, so my question is......."How do you deal with 3 naughty and unruly children without smacking them.

Please, no replies about violence breads violence.

Simple answer to a simple question.....how would you deal with them?

[pericat]

military school !

[sara3]

it depends how old they are. naughty step for the little ones?

I believe in taking away privileges and precious toys/games/mobile phones/laptops for a period of time, and grounding when appropriate.

[Sqad]

sara....7.8.9......yrs old What is a "naughty step?"

Yearhh right.............and then take further abuse and rudeness over the weekend.

[Sandy-Wroe]

`Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.'

Spare the rod and spoil the child.

[LoftyLottie]

I would have sent them home to their parents who have caused the problem in the first place and refuse to have them again. Unless they are your own, you have no need to deal with them at all.

[albaqwerty]

she should have several very strong words with the parents of these delightful children

[sara3]

my kids wouldn't be rude or abusive to me. they know it's unacceptable.

[ummmm]

I would smack them.

I'm not big into hitting my kids but I do threaten it a lot. My boys 11 and 13 know that if I do hit them it will hurt. I'm still a lot harder than them...lol. If I jump up when they are miss behaving they move quicker than the cat.

I don't think you need to hit your kids...I just think that they know that you might.

Sqad you'll like this....I gave my son a hiding. He went to school and reported me. I had SS come out and ask what happened. He forgot to mention that he hit me so I gave him a hiding. I've also told them that even when they are bigger than me...if they disrespect me I will get family members to deal with them...

I'm the mother :-)

[pericat]

there was something called street angel house devil - when my kids were small they were not that bad at home but would not have misbehaved when going to someone elses house - not acceptable at all but i dont know what the answer is as everyone is different

[Sachs]

Hi sqad,
I used smacking with my own children, always gave them a couple of chances first & it wasn't hard. Just the effect that mum wasn't pleased was enough! It's different with grandchildren isn't it, they're not your own so it's a definate no no! How old are they sqad?

[Sqad]

Sandy......quite right

Lofty...parents were away.....no need to deal with them?....so you have your weekend utterly ruined by the kids and be unable to offer the obvious solution. She is not having them again.

alba...have you tried speaking to our modern mother.....reply is usually "Up yours and mind your own business"

sara...maybe to you, but what about to grandparents who may be looking after them.

[Sqad]

ummm...well done.

sachs...and to you too.....7.8 and 9

[pericat]

Dare I say this - sqad it shouldnt just fall to the 'modern mum' what about the dad

[albaqwerty]

sqad if she's not having them again, there is no problem.

presumably one of her offspring is the parent tho and if the modern mum ever spoke to their mother or mother-in-law that way, well, words fail me

[Sqad]

peri.....good point.

[Sachs]

Got to say sqad,
nearly always this kind of thing results from parents not following through a threat. If you threaten a child with keeping them in/ taking something away from them, it should always be followed through. So many make idle threats, absolutely no point to the exercise! Result, rude disobedient kids with no boundaries set!

[LoftyLottie]

Squad. Well all she could do is be as firm as she could with them and try to make them behave during her stay. She really couldn't turn them out on the streets. But to be honest there would be very little else she could do because the damage has already been done by their parents. So she would just have to grit her teeth and get on with it. But whether or not parents smack I don't think it's appropriate for others to do so.

Hopefully, she will stick to her guns about having them to stay again. Most kids behave much better with others than they do with their parents. My mother never believed that 'my dear little son' could do anything wrong.

[pericat]

Just wondering and this is probably a whole new thread - but do modern dads have a lot more to say and do with their kids upbringing - people automatically blame the mother or comment about how a mother could support that !

[Sqad]

lofty :-)

[pericat]

the whole issue of discipline and kids behaving at this level of bad behaviour is so much more than are they slapped or not - there must be very little general discipline in the home for them to behave like this at someone elses house