Mums, Dads, & Grandparents.........

[trt]

Your opinions please.

I have been having a friendly banter with my daughter 40yrs (modern mum) who has been a Health Visitor for 15, with my 4yr old grandson.

Last week they came over to my place, and she had painted her nails with a new red shade, and he had blue nails.
I laughed and said, are you trying to make him gay, and she said he asked her because he watched her doing hers.

We got into a discussion, and she said I was old fashioned, (she calls me grumps by the way), and that there was no harm, and children have to experiment, as he would probably do it himself if she wasn't looking.

I didn't agree, and she said, ask you friends on A/B, and see what they say, so I have!

I think I am right, what do you think?

[pixie374]

No harm. How would it make him gay?

[ummmm]

I agree with your daughter.

I painted my sons room in purple glitter paint at his request....with pink trims...and he's a strapping lad with a great work ethic.

He wouldn't happily admit to it now but let them be themselves while they are young and carefree.

[jourdain2]

My daughters do not paint my granddaughter's nails. It is something to do with not sexualising children and is the same attitude I took with them. My eldest granddaughter (9 yrs) was at a fancy-dress 'do' and had her nails painted for that.

You are most certainly correct in your response.

[DaisyNonna]

Mum paints her nails
Why not her son?

[ladyalex]

My nephew, now over forty with a family, was obsessed with wearing tights when he was about 4..... he preferred green ones for some reason, but any tights would do (child sized woolly ones). We all just let him be and I expect he has totally forgotten about it ..as had I until I read this post.
So...I agree with your daughter. There is no harm in it at all.

[eanceoil]

That is old fashioned, I'm a grandparent of 3 boys,belonging to different children of mine and a few grand daughters they put their mum's make up on, they get up to the craziest of things, we like to call it art and never ever considered the children's sexual orientation. 40yrs to some is an old mum going by my visits to the maternity wing in our local hospital, but she (your daughter) is and has a modern outlook thankfully.

[sherrardk]

My youngest son (he's 7) has been sporting electric blue finger nails for a couple of days.

[rsvp]

I don't think parents should stifle any reasonable experiment a child makes - there doesn't seem to be too much of an anti lobby about tomboys so why should there be any probs with a 4 year old that just sees painting his nails in the same light as he would see painting a chair?

[sherrardk]

Ps - I'm an 'older' mum and my husband is practically ancient (and v old school) - he doesn't bat an eyelid at nail varnish on the boy's nails.

[jourdain2]

Well, I'll hold my ground. I would be very upset/annoyed if my granddaughters had painted nails before their teens. That would equally apply to grandson.

Painted nails are to do with grown-ups, physical attraction, making yourself look good etc.. Children really need to be protected and childhood is precious. Still with you trt.

[eanceoil]

I'm sure sherrardk that your comment is only in the eyes of the children having children these days

[PankySmooch]

I agree, why would you want to paint a 4yr old boys fingernails?

[ummmm]

Because they ask for them to be painted.

[sherrardk]

I'm 46 and my youngest two are 7 and my husband is 56 so we are quite old.

[PankySmooch]

So because they ask, you do?

[eanceoil]

A sherrardk, in my eyes-you're a child yourself ;-}

[sherrardk]

PankySmooch - they're children, of course you do.

[Canary42]

///she said he asked her because he watched her doing hers. ///

Let's hope he didn't spot her inserting a sanitary towel.

[jourdain2]

ummmm Children ask for all sorts of things, it's up to the grown-up in charge to decide if it is suitable to give it or not. You don't give candy-floss after candy-floss until they are sick for example.

Children cannot differentiate between the suitable and the unsuitable - they don't have the experience. Adults must make the decisions for them until they are of an age when they can decide for themselves - that is a moveable date depending on the child. It's the hard bit about parenting :)

[sherrardk]

Eanceoil - it's quite funny, because a number of other mums turn to me and ask advice (about school uniform for secondary, what to pack for trips, etc), I'm like AB of the school playground.