Engagement ring

[darren27]

Please help! I want to propose to my girlfriend, only this is proving very difficult.

My problem is we only have a joint account, I have a decent job in sales and my partner is a full-time house wife (we have 2 kids) money is ok but my partner looks after money and therefore would notice money gone missing on an engagement ring. Especially the kind of money I have heard (1 months salary) I think she would notice that.

How can I buy a ring without it coming out of our joint account, and without her knowing the cost? We have a credit card too but again this is in joint names.

On top of this she is a bit of a funny one with money, for example last christmas a bought her a gift and she said I spent too much so for her Birthday I bought her some flowers and she seemed dissapointed. Women eh!

So I would like to get it just right, oh yeah she doesnt wear a ring either so I wouldn't have a clue what size to buy but maybe her mum could help with that.

I have considered asking her first and choosing a ring together, this would answer all my problems but i'm worried it will come across a bit tacky and like I haven't made the effort. I need to hurry anyway she has always said she wants to be married before she is 30 which is October next year

Please help!

[LoftyLottie]

Why would it come over tacky proposing first and then choosing a ring together. I think that's a far better idea. She knows your financial situation more than anyone and if she is anything like me and she gets presented with a ring and she has no idea where the money has come from she will only worry about it.

A bottle of Champagne, chocs and flowers - Choose the approrpiate time and propose!!

[LoftyLottie]

Oh and best wishes. I hope she accepts.

[albaqwerty]

it is not tacky to shop for an engagement ring togetrher. It can be quite romantic :)

[mrs_overall]

I agree with lottie. Propose first and then choose a ring together. Good luck!

[ummmm]

Buy her a bunch of flowers and one of those sweetie rings....just tell her you didn't want to get it wrong so the sweet is just something to put on her finger with the proposal...then you can eat it.

[darren27]

Thanks, I wasn't saying it would be tacky asking her first just not sure? Iv'e never done this before.

[LoftyLottie]

Well let us know how it goes!!

All the best x

[mrs_overall]

Trust us girls...we know what we are talking about! (particularly lottie - she's been married 8 times now)

[mccfluff]

when i got engaged he prosposed then took me to a local craft shop where they made jewellery and i got to design my own ring, meant much more to me. you could always take her there are a surpise and propose when you get there.

[ummmm]

You could save yourself a fortune if you go with her.

[LoftyLottie]

You're out of touch 'cos of your holiday Mrs O. I'm now on number 9!!!

[mcmelon]

When my husband proposed I was over the moon that he'd chosen the ring himself. I love the ring so much because of that. I wouldn't have chosen it probably but because he did. it means the world to me.
I would decide when you're going to propose and then be quick about buying the ring. She probably doesn't check it daily. She'll love it if you've chosen it for her.
Good look!

[darren27]

I was thinking of doing it new years eve, then we can look in the January sales! lol Only joking!

Thanks for your thoughts, thats a real help.

[albaqwerty]

darren propose tonight, you can then shop for a ring whenever suits.

as lottie says, let us know :)

[darren27]

Mcmelon - That is what I was thinking, she is not very forthcoming (she would get embaressed choosing a ring) strange I know. If I bought one it would be better but i'm worried i'll get the price all wrong. Such a difficult one.

[ummmm]

It's got nothing to do with price Darren...that's outdated now. It's the meaning behind it.

[mrs_overall]

Darren, when Mr Overall proposed he didn't have a ring. He dragged me off to the jewellers and pointed out one that he'd almost bought me. It was hideous! If he'd proposed with it, I would have had to fib and say I liked it.

[mcmelon]

The people in the shop will help you. You can tell them what kind of person she is etc. e.g my husband knew I wouldn't like yellow gold or a sollitaire as everyone has then. Mine is white gold with three diamonds. It isn't what I'd have chosen but I didn't have to fib and say i liked it because i loved it because mr melon chose it for me. i cried and cried. soft get. x

[jake-the-peg]

Watch out for white gold - it is rhodium plated and the plating needs renewing every so often

[mcmelon]

Don't worry about size. My Melon used his little finger as he'd held up up to mine and thought it was the same. It wasn't it was huge but the jeweller adjusted it. H