Please help him relax

[happy_face]

My boyfriend is so tense at the moment and has such a short fuse. We often end up arguing over stupid little things. We spoken a lot about it and it's nothing to do with our relationship and he hasn't got anything bothering him, but he just can't relax and chill out.

Do any of you have any good relaxation tips apart from the obvious dirty ones, thank you very much. Anything would be much appreciated.

[ewand]

A very difficult situation, happy_face but nothing is impossible to sort out..........if it's definately nothing to do with the relationship or work etc., then start thinking about things you can do together to try to develop your relationship and friendship.  This could be anything from taking an interest (not over the top interest!) in a sport he perhaps likes, or plan some kind of hobby that you could both get into, and work together, for example learning to scuba, dancing etc.

You don't say how long you've been together, age etc. so I can't really focus a response, but generally evenings spent relaxing with friends, a good bottle of wine, good food and a good film are generally the best way to relax........hope this gives a few ideas......

[happy_face]

Sorry. We've been together for almost 10 years and we do do lots of those things it's just in the last 3 weeks he's so tense and I feel like I have to walk around on eggshells so I don't upset him as so many things in life seems to do at the moment.

[ewand]

No probs.......it sounds like you need to plan a holiday of a lifetime........or take a UK walking break, get a dog etc.! 

 

Sorry that things are not going well, but I think every relationship has really low periods, and the best thing you can do is to be there and support.  Check things are ok, though not too often, and let him snap himself out of it.  If things don't change over the next month then sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel, and how he is making you feel.  If you show, without shouting etc. that he is upsetting you by acting like it, then perhaps that might be what he needs to snap out of it.

[BUNNY]

I'd give him a bit of space if I were you.Only he can sort his stress out himself and you'll end up putting pressure on him and annoying yourself if you try to take this on board.He knows he has your support so now try to get on with things yourself so that he doesn't feel the extra pressure of making you unhappy.Hopefully he will be back to normal soon.

[Octavius]

Well, there has to be a reason he is so tetchy - maybe it is something that he doesn't feel he can tell you.  He may be feeling vulnerable or maybe embarassed that there is something he is not able to cope with (work, money, relationship etc).  You need to let him tell you in his own time, but let him know that he can confide in you and you will support him whatever.

 

I went through a year and a half of hightened stress through work-pressures - I kept everything to myself because I thought that I was useless and couldn't cope - it ended a long relationship and tore my life apart.  Basically I was embarassed to admit I couldn't cope.  As it turns out, I was being treated unreasonably and the demands would have been too high for anyone at my stage in life.

 

Anyhow, perhaps as ewand suggests, plan something like a nice weekend somewhere realxing where you can chill out together and just maybe get the problems out in the open.  Good luck.